People expect me to be some sort of superhero. Wherever I go I can just turn around, pull off a mask and be a new person. There's no mask, this is my face. This is me. If the only 15 years of my life didn't make me what I am, then what's the definition of a person? Don't expect me to be like the typical person you see here. I've lived an atypical life, I AM an atypical person. That doesn't mean I can't be good, I can't be right, I can't be loving, I can't be amazing. I'm just not what you think I am. So don't expect me to do the same things, and have the same values and priorities in life. I'm Muslim. I'm Human. Allah is closer to me than I am to myself. I love, and Allah showers His love and the love of mankind upon me and I do not know if deserve it. I have things that are important to me and closest to my heart. Don't expect me to shed them off, just because of an illusional factor called time. This is me. I want to be me. Maybe I can change, but I love who I am. And I don't want my past self to be something distant and alien, to my future self. Don't think that your home will become mine, just because you force it upon me. I am home in Allah. I am home where I feel comfortable just being myself. Not having to change myself for people to understand me. There, I am home. I can't keep translating my personality and cutting off huge bits just for the sake of your understanding, for the rest of my life. Please, I beg of you, love me for who I am. If I don't know myself, then who does? I KNOW myself. At least, more than you do. Please don't say my comfort zone is a far fetched illusion. If it is, then my personality does not exist.

Don't expect me to be you. Love me for who I am.

People,
Don't neglect the importance
Of family
Of friends
Of human relationships

Why else did Allah
Breathe into life Adam
And create Eve?

People say Allah is enough
He is
But that doesn't mean we don't need those around us
I repeat,
Why did Allah Himself
CREATE EVE?

A friend
A family
A companion

One to share love
And life

What if
I had fallen to my knees
On the cold parking lot concrete
Tears washing over my cheeks
And cries no one should ever have to hear
Bellowing out from beneath my ribs
Screaming at the sky
Looking up at your face
Forcing you
(and everyone else)
To see me in this godforsaken state
Of absolute chaos
Heartbreak
In it's rawest form
What if I had begged you to stay?
What if I'd told you I can't do this without you?
What if I'd told you how much I needed you
What if I did anything other than fighting back the tears
Maybe for myself, maybe for you,
Mostly for the crowd of people gathering
Saying their goodbyes
Anxiously looking around to bear witness to everyone else's reactions
And I didn't want to be that girl
That girl who falls to the ground
Kicking and screaming and crying and begging
But what if I was?
What if I was any girl other than the one I pretended to be that day
The one that held her tongue and kept her mouth shut because she knew the second she opened it to speak she would sob
The one that wrapped her arms around you for the last time,
and the one that let go
The one that couldn't bear to watch you walk away
So she kissed you goodbye
Got back in the car
And drove home
What if i wasn't that girl who didnt allow herself to completely fall apart until she was alone in the privacy of her own home?
What if instead I'd made a scene,
Doing what everything inside me so desperately wanted to
Grabbing hold of your hand and refusing to let go
Losing the facade of confidence
The charade of strength
But I'm not that girl
And I never will be
So each and every time you leave
I kiss you goodbye
I unclench my fists and retract my anchors
I untether my heart from it's human home
And I put on a brave face
Maybe for myself, maybe for you,
Or maybe
For that girl.

We all hallucinate
In our sleep

(It's the only time
NOT hallucinating is
A problem)

Someday you’ll love you.
From the sparkle in your eye,
To the pitch of your laugh,
Even the color of your hair.

You will love every part,
From every wrinkle,
To every crinkle,
Every part of you.

But they will try to tear you down,
To make you frown,
To make you think you’re not worth it.

But darling you listen to me.

From the way you walk,
To the way you talk,
You will be mocked,
But don’t you listen.

From your weight,
To your height,
You are all wonderful to me.

Maybe one day you’ll see,
The beauty I see.
The way you were made,
So beautifully.

But until then,
Do not forget,
On how true beauty,
Comes from within.

you are an expert at sorry
and i’m a master of forgiveness
ohh together baby
we make a perfect mess

let me
just this time
let me walk away first
spare me the heartbreak
of watching you leave
spare me the pain
of setting you free
let me, just this time
let me walk away first
let me feel the pride
of the one leaving
not the pity
of being left behind
let me, just this time
let me leave you first
i’m tired of watching you leave

iloveyou
without a space
there’ll be no room for mistakes
no it doesn’t make sense
it’ll make no difference