My mind is a
scrapbook of
tattered
memories and
ghosts that waltz to
sullen Cohen
songs in my heart.

Sometimes
it hurts
like a
rotten tooth.
I have a foul and
electric
taste in my mouth.
A metallic bitterness.
There’s a febrile and
pale stranger in the
mirror that cowers
back at me.
Tears, like candle wax.

I used to
try and drink the
pain away.
Chase worldly
pursuits, like a
dog at the track
after that mechanical
rabbit.

As I get older,
I try to practice
wisdom.
I got off that
dirt road to
damnation Island.
We are in this
carnival of ****
together.
I seek a higher love
and try to ease another's
aching,
a pursuit worthwhile.

Grief's canvas stretches wide and bare
A blank slate waiting, with no one to share
The brushstrokes of memories, once vibrant and bright
Now muted and faded, in the dark of night

The paint of pain, a deepening hue
A color that clings, to all I once knew
The strokes of sorrow, bold and free
A portrait of longing, for what used to be

The process of healing, a slow reveal
A layering of emotions, a complex feel
The colors of love, still shining through
A radiant glow, in all I once knew

The subject of my heart, a beloved face
A masterpiece of memories, in a sacred space
Though faded and worn, the love remains
A portrait of devotion, through joy and pains

The final brushstroke, a gentle touch
A whisper of acceptance, a heart that's too much
The portrait complete, a story told
A testament to love, that never grows old

In this masterpiece of grief and love
I find solace, sent from above
A reminder of what was, and what will be
A portrait of devotion, for all eternity.

Grief's heavy mist descends upon my soul
A sorrow so profound, it takes its toll
Like autumn leaves, joy withers away
Leaving emptiness, night's dark gray

Pain's sharp edges cut through every breath
A constant ache, a hollowed depth
Longing to turn back time's relentless hand
To hold what's lost, in a fading land

Tears fall like rain, a deluge of pain
As memories haunt, like a refrain
Echoes of laughter, now taunt my mind
A bittersweet reminder, forever left behind

In this dark valley, I search for a way
To navigate the shadows, night and day
To find solace, a respite from the pain
And learn to live with the ache, again and again

Grief's journey is long, winding, and slow
But even in darkness, seeds of hope grow.

I was in the kitchen making dinner,
I was a mess,
My hair dishevelled,
An apron tied around me,
There was no make up on me.
As I stepped into the living room humming off tune,
All eyes were on me.
Oh no! What should I do?
Go back into the kitchen,
I didn't want to embarrass my daughter,
She had come with some important clients for a meeting,
All eyes were on me,
Looking at me quizzically.
Just then she came to my side,
Put her arms around me with a smile,
Meet my mum, the sweetest and most important person in my life.
Tears filled my eyes.
3/11/2024

THE LIGHT VANISHES

Summer had suddenly
gotten old.

Shadows nibbled at the light
limping along by an orchard wall

biting it
to the bone.

The light seemed to wince.

An apple fell to the ground
as if on cue.

Forever seemed somehow
shrunken.

Time withdrew into itself.

The house was talking
to the wind

in its creaky old voice about
the this of that and the that of this.

The wind saying nothing now.
Keeping sthum.

Inside... a book
lay asleep upon a table

waiting to be awoken
by a child's hand.

The words now
allruntogetherbit

ready to jump back
into their proper places

take up their position.
when called upon.

Even the pterodactyl
had its eyes shut tight

in the drawing of it
on page 42

flying in pre-historic
black and white.

I was amazed to find
I owned

all these aunts and uncles
that were all mine!

I even had a cute cousin
called Mary Frances who

always made me
smile.

A mottled mirror
had flung itself upon a floor

scattering itself here & then
there in a loud "oNo!"

Still showing the world
its face

in many tiny
little seeings

that could
draw blood.

I breathed the summer in.
I breathed the summer out.

I would never again be
as old as I was now.

It was the last time
I was 9.