Looking at those old pictures today,
I realized I grew up way too fast
My smile no longer looks that genuine
My eyes no longer twinkles
My face no longer glitters
Its all dull and dry now
like a desert waiting for a rain

Its sad to know
I am the biggest reason
for my downfall

I should have tried,
I should have worked,
I should have known,

that magic won't happen
That in the end its all on me
Everyone did well

But that shouldn't matter to me
All that I should care about is
my loss which was caused by me

But the ultimate question being
what's next ,will I try harder ?
will I improve?

Honestly I don't know
but I hope I do
I just hope

Did you know,
when a single drop of tear flows down
through your right eye
down on to your cheeks
its said to be the most painful cry for help

I just hope its not true
I don't want my precious tears
to get wasted for him
he isn't worth it
no one is

Artists are often
broken people
using the fragments of themselves
to create something new
and although
being healed
feels so complete
sometimes i want to be broken again
sometimes i want open wounds
so i can use the blood
to paint sunsets
so i can use the torn off pieces of skin as a canvas
so i can carve
masterpieces with the jagged bones left behind
but I can't bring myself to break my own heart in the name of Art

Its impossible for me to admire the sunset without having the urge to pen down its magnificence  

Its impossible for me to look at the moon without a paper and pen in hand

Its impossible for me to just stare at the nature's beauty without noting it down

Its impossible for me to calm down my anger without scribbling down words on my note

Its impossible for me to just cry out my pain without putting it into words

Its impossible for me to understand my own emotions without writing it down first

Its impossible for me to stop being a poet.

I feel like crying,
but the tears no loner fall
They no longer wanna roll
down my pale chubby cheeks
Maybe they knew about the ups and downs
they need to face along the way
till they reach the end
before they fall onto the floor

Let my silence teach you

what my words

did not