That's exactly what I did
I faked it
Faked my smile
But that's all I could ever do
I couldn't make it real
So I faked it to the point that
I no longer knew
What was real and what was fake.

I never knew charcoal green existed
Until my eyes met yours

What does it feel like to be in love?

Is it like the water that cools your head
or is it like the water that drowns you in it?

Is it like the fire that keeps you warm
or is it like the fire that burns you down?

Is it like the joy that can make you smile
or is it like the joy that brings tears to your eyes?

What does it feel like to be in love?

Should it be the feeling of freedom
or should it be the feeling of suffocation ?

Should I feel scared and paranoid
or should I feel safe and secure ?

And what if I am feeling all this together,
Is it still okay?
Is it still considered love ?

I feel like I have lost a piece of myself
I run back the way I came to search for it
But in the end I return empty handed

I lost it

I lost the most important piece of myself
Is that why I no longer feel anything ?
Did I loose my emotions ?

I feel like I am already dead
Just waiting to be taken away
Is it because of that one piece that I lost along the way?

I am sorry they blame you
just cause I love you

I am sorry they criticize you
just to get a reaction from me

I am sorry they render you worthless
just to irritate me

I am sorry for not defending you
when they kept on downgrading you

I am sorry I couldn't tell them
that you are the only reason for my happiness

I am sorry I couldn't tell them
how much you mean to me

I am sorry I couldn't tell them
that you taught me to love myself

Above all I am sorry for not telling them
that you are the only reason I am alive today