Why do all my poems sound like a cry for help?
Like iam so desperate for someone to come and save me
Is that normal
Or have I become abnormal?

The agony in me
Enough to burn a being alive
Enough to turn hell over

The pain in me
As a truck passed over me
As I have been stabbed all over

The hatred in me
Capable of cursing the one who gave me birth
Capable to taking my own life

When will it all end
When will I be set free
From this world of pain and misery
From the hell that pretends to be heaven

Did you know,
when a single drop of tear flows down
through your right eye
down on to your cheeks
its said to be the most painful cry for help

I just hope its not true
I don't want my precious tears
to get wasted for him
he isn't worth it
no one is

Dear love
You gave me warmth
In the cold rains of August
Covering me in your strong embrace
You protected me against the wind,
the thunder and the floods
You were the beautiful spring that bought joy to my dry winter
You were the sun that went down
So that I could watch the moon glow
You were everything I wished I could be
You showed me stars in the August sky
My August has now become our August
You have become a part of my own day and night
You have become a part of my hours, minutes and seconds
But when the winds started to become unbearable for you
You left me to tend to myself
Still I wont complain
I wont curse
I wont grumble
Thank you for giving me
The love of February
The heat of May
The cold of December
All in August
Thank you for being my August love

I don't remember the last time I wrote,
Wrote something good
But isn't all that's written and
All that will be written good?
Maybe this is what it is,
What they call a perfect example,
Of a bad writing.
Is it so?

Everyone gets to see a different version of me
I can be silent, shy, soft and sweet
I can be angry, mad, crazy and stupid
I can be talkative, loud, funny and smart

But you were the only one who was allowed to see
the raw me, the vulnerable me, the actual me, the ****** up me
But in the end you were the only one
who betrayed me .

You pushed open the doors  
that I had closed a long time ago
Why did you do that?

You said you would never
let my eyes fill up with tears,
But every single day I cried
and you were the reason for those tears

What explanation have you got?
What excuses have you prepared?
In front of you I was a thin sheet of glass
fully transparent, fully open

You broke that glass,
shattered it into pieces,
with a ****** **** stone
You cut my edges sharp,

Then dared to complain
that I hurt you
As I picked up those broken pieces,
I knew I would never be the same,
we would never be the same
It was all over, once and for all.

It feels just so empty inside out,
So blank like a new book,
Empty pages left to be filled up

But the ink doesn't flow,
The pen refuses to write on it,
Not only is the book empty, its too old to be used

The pen doesn't wanna get *****,
The book tried its best to get filled,
And that's enough knowing that it tried its best, nothing else matters.

I did it first
She copied mine
But hers was better

It ******, it felt terrible
to see her get all the credit
Maybe it was just jealousy

But still it hurt!

Never have I seen a smile as pretty as yours,
The way those eyes twinkles,
And those dimples appear,
As you pose for that not so candid but candid photo of yours.

I never knew charcoal green existed
Until my eyes met yours

At the time when none seems to be around,
I crave for a loving hug, a soft kiss and a gentle reminder
that I am needed
that I am loved

A small pat on my head
a soothing touch on my shoulders
or an I miss you text
anything would be fine

Just keep reminding me
that I need to live
Just keep reminding me
that someone will always be there

I have a crush
But I daren't let the world know

Born from within me
It will die within me.

You are like a mistress I keep
A mistress who knows all about me
A mistress who shouldn't exsist
But why do I find it hard to keep you away?

Your darkness throws upon me
A blanket of comfort
Covering me up
From a fake world

The night where truth
Swims up to the surface
Real faces tear apart the fake masks
That covers them up

Like a drunk man
I open up my locked chamber
Of secrets and insecurities cause
With you near me I no more fear

With you iam not fake
I stop pretending to be fine
I don't stop my tears
From rolling down my cheeks

I let my pillows be soaked
With my tears
With the weight that I had to carry
Over my already slumped shoulders

Lying in your lap,  I dream
Of another world
Where the morning would be my strength
And the light would be my comfort

I was afraid not anymore
You control me no more
Your claws don't frighten me anymore
Iam no more trapped in you
You have no right over me anymore
I fear you no more

I saw things
no on else could see,
I heard sounds
no one else could hear.

Looking into that mirror
I asked "who are you?"
She smiled back at me
and replied,

"I am who you wish to be
I am who you dream to be
Wanna cross over this bridge
and see what's hidden behind?"

"You desired to be taken away
You wished to be pulled into
a world far away from your realities
and now I am here to take you away"

She held her hand out for me
But I dare not touch
Cause I knew behind that smile
hid an endless river of tears.

When you don't understand yourself
When you start hating yourself
When you compare yourself
You start to deteriorate

When funny comments hurt your heart  
When beauty and wealth matters  
When others opinions weigh you down  
You start to deteriorate  

When impressing others feels important  
When sacrificing your comfort doesn't hurt  
When you forget to live
You start to deteriorate

Drowning in happiness
Enjoying each second of your company
Visualizing being together forever
I just wanna tell you
Kinda wanna hug too
Always I will be there for you

A walking disaster,
I was named
From birth, it's all I ever heard
They feared being with me
What if I pull them all down with me, Cause of this cursed luck of mine?
Anyone who ever came near said the same

You were the first who asked,
"Will you ever be you if you changed",
Instead of the usual words they threw at me, that cut straight through my heart
You bandaged that bleeding heart and held it tight,
Within your strong embrace

With you I was no longer a disaster
You told me I am so much more
Than what they all ever said
If that's true, then why did you leave me too?
Was my bad luck too much to bear, that you had to runaway from me without even saying a goodbye?
Didn't I deserve a goodbye from you atleast?

Does a poet write only when he is sad?
Doesn't think so
But have heard so

Does a poet write only when he is upset?
Is writing a way to escape
From the world that hurt you a little too much?

Does a poet write only when he is depressed?
Why is his happiness not penned down?
Why is his prosperity not shared?

A poet doesn't write only when he is sad
All feelings, all happiness, all emotions
All of this is written

He writes when he is happy
He writes about the nature
He writes about everything and everyone

Poems are not always meant to be sad
They contain hope, love, peace
And so much more

That's what I was for them,
a doll to play with,
a doll to throw away when unwanted
and take back when needed
I got angry,
they pretended to be nice,
I let them do what they like,
but again they made me the doll
Never was my feelings considered
What feelings could a doll have,
they might have thought
Not their fault cause I stood there,
for years being their doll,
even when I could have ran,
I didn't
But now I am going to,
I no longer will be the doll,
go find a new one to play with and throw around

Everyday I try,
to pull myself out,
of all the trauma
the lies you told me caused

I thought, rather I believed
I had moved a lot further
from all the scars your lies left
Looks like iam wrong

Entirely evidently,
I was wrong,
Cause it still hurts me
Way too much than it should

Even the smallest
of small lie hurts me
deeply and badly
Unable to breathe I struggle

Makes me wanna see you,
talk to you never again,
ever again
So please don't do this

Don't lie to me
And if you ever do
make sure to never let me know
cause I would hate you too
as much as I hate lies.

Each time I came crying towards you
I knew you could make me smile
And you always did
Even though you didn't have answers for all my questions
Even though you couldn't solve all my problems
Just knowing that you are there is reassuring
Thank you for being a doraemon to this nobitha

Running away from you
I thought I could escape
But I was wrong
I could never make it

You pushed your way into my dreams
Turning them into nightmares
That haunt me throughout the day

Neither the light nor the darkness scared you, I wonder
Is there anything you fear
Anything that can stop you
From turning me into you?

I can't be you. Iam not you.
Iam scared
Of anything and everything
I fear their ruthless eyes
Their tounge that spits fire

Don't  force me
To be the black sheep
Who will forever be hated
Please let me live
Hidden away from you

That's exactly what I did
I faked it
Faked my smile
But that's all I could ever do
I couldn't make it real
So I faked it to the point that
I no longer knew
What was real and what was fake.

The longer it takes for you to fall,
Deeper will your fall be.

I am tired, No beyond that
I am exhausted, Not a tinge
of energy left in me
Not a pinch of life left in me

I can no longer walk, Yet
I try to run the race
they all finish even before I start
I am already out, I already lost

Before I run out of breath, Pick me up
Lend me that hand of yours,
Hold onto me and pull me out
Teach me to crawl first

Hold me while I walk
And finally put me back
on that track again to start
at my own pace.

As I weave a wave of surprise for him
I could hear my heart accelerate with excitement never seen before
As though it had been running a race
It beats as if it would explode of emergency

Thank you for keeping me sane when the world around me was going insane.

2 years apart
Still close to heart
A shoulder to lie on
A hand to hold on
Endless stories to share
More movie nights to come
Outings being a bliss
Combine studies becoming an abyss
Hoping for wonderful days
And amazing people to be a part of your life ahead.

His grip so tight that it left marks on my skin,
that's been pale for as long as I can remember
Its now the darkest shade of red,
as dark as it can get.
I should probably be searching
for a way to escape, But here I am standing still
like a statue bearing all that pain,
unable to find my voice,
unable to regain my strength.

Aren’t we all hypocrites in one way or the other?
We all say we should respect other
But we make sure to call them mad or crazy when we find out they are different from us
When we find out they do things differently
We judge easily,
We criticize easily,
We make fun easily,
Not caring about how the other person might feel
Yet we claim to be the most respectful
We call others hypocrites when in reality we all are hypocrites
Aren’t we?

I am sorry they blame you
just cause I love you

I am sorry they criticize you
just to get a reaction from me

I am sorry they render you worthless
just to irritate me

I am sorry for not defending you
when they kept on downgrading you

I am sorry I couldn't tell them
that you are the only reason for my happiness

I am sorry I couldn't tell them
how much you mean to me

I am sorry I couldn't tell them
that you taught me to love myself

Above all I am sorry for not telling them
that you are the only reason I am alive today

I belive we were meant to meet
If not today then tomorrow
If not this week then next week
If not this month then next month
If not this year then next year
And so on....
But someday somewhere we were meant to meet.
Meant to be each other's comfort
Destined to be each other's best
Made to be each other's forever.

Forgotten memories resurfaced
But I had already moved on
Why would you come back now?
When all the fire has died down
And all the heat has evaporated
Why now?
Your face taunts me in my dreams
Why come back now
When I finally stopped grieving for you
I was trying to stand up on my own
But you have pushed me down
Back on my knees
Why come back now
When everything is over

Its impossible for me to admire the sunset without having the urge to pen down its magnificence  

Its impossible for me to look at the moon without a paper and pen in hand

Its impossible for me to just stare at the nature's beauty without noting it down

Its impossible for me to calm down my anger without scribbling down words on my note

Its impossible for me to just cry out my pain without putting it into words

Its impossible for me to understand my own emotions without writing it down first

Its impossible for me to stop being a poet.

I have no inner peace
I think to take it for lease
From someone who is at ease
To lend his peace

A life without peace
Is lived to please
And to pacify
Someone and not me

I can get my own peace
Only when i will be able
To peel the packing
Thats covering my outer face

When i have no peace
I become peaky
But now all i want is some peace
So as to get a good night sleep

How could you call me that
An introvert you say,
Just cause I don't talk to you
How crazy of you to think so?
My never ending blabber will surprise you
But it's not for you to listen to
My words and my voice are for the ones that's I want to share it with
For those who build that comfort wall around me
How do I speak to you,
When I feel so suffocated just sitting next to you?
My heart running miles and miles everytime you utter a word
My throat going dry and hands sweating tons
Now tell me is it my fault that I don't talk to you?
Is it my fault that you call me an introvert?

What does it feel like to be in love?

Is it like the water that cools your head
or is it like the water that drowns you in it?

Is it like the fire that keeps you warm
or is it like the fire that burns you down?

Is it like the joy that can make you smile
or is it like the joy that brings tears to your eyes?

What does it feel like to be in love?

Should it be the feeling of freedom
or should it be the feeling of suffocation ?

Should I feel scared and paranoid
or should I feel safe and secure ?

And what if I am feeling all this together,
Is it still okay?
Is it still considered love ?

Talking to you on the phone,
drains me out of energy
And puts me to sleep
making my head hurt,
making my tummy ache,
its paining all over

It drains me , drains me out
way too much

Makes me want to cry ,
makes me want to hear sad songs
like u haven't caused me enough sadness
Cry with me will you,
sing with me will you,
after all that you have done

It drains me , drains me out
way too much

The gold of her ring
The silver of her hair
The cries of her children
Nothing stopped him from hurting her
She didn't complain
when the light of the world left her
in complete darkness
Loneliness consumed her
This world gave her back
for all that she did
till the last moment
before she lost her breath to death

She said its okay to let go
if I couldn't hold it in
any longer,Then its okay
to let go and I trusted her

Just when I thought
I have figured out everything
things changed,
And I am back to step one

But she said its fine
to not know the next
Its okay to let go
if I couldn't bear it anymore and I trusted her

When I stressed over things
that was totally stupid
When I cried over things
that was totally unwanted

She calmed me down
And told me its okay
to let go if I couldn't do it anymore
and I trusted her

Its sad to know
I am the biggest reason
for my downfall

I should have tried,
I should have worked,
I should have known,

that magic won't happen
That in the end its all on me
Everyone did well

But that shouldn't matter to me
All that I should care about is
my loss which was caused by me

But the ultimate question being
what's next ,will I try harder ?
will I improve?

Honestly I don't know
but I hope I do
I just hope

There are days I just wanna quit,
Throw it all away and crawl back into bed,
Cry out loud till its all clear and clean inside out.

Daily I try, to be a better me for you and for me,
Dragging myself from the sheets of comfort that cover me, I fight,
I fight everyday for the strength that helps me stand.

It's not easy, I'm barely alive somedays,
So please be kind to me, Atleast on those days let me be kind to myself.
It's not hard to be kind, is it ?

Under the lighted lamp
She sat with her little dairy
As she jotted down
All about her day
The vague and dim light
Could open the door
To her mind that even
The strong and bright light
Of her phone couldn't

I feel like I have lost a piece of myself
I run back the way I came to search for it
But in the end I return empty handed

I lost it

I lost the most important piece of myself
Is that why I no longer feel anything ?
Did I loose my emotions ?

I feel like I am already dead
Just waiting to be taken away
Is it because of that one piece that I lost along the way?

Looking at those old pictures today,
I realized I grew up way too fast
My smile no longer looks that genuine
My eyes no longer twinkles
My face no longer glitters
Its all dull and dry now
like a desert waiting for a rain