sometimes I spend too much time
online
it feels so strange
to go outside
and be myself
in front of everyone else
it's hard to forget
that the world has eyes

online I can be anyone
but outside I am one person
exactly one
no avatar and no veneer
not everywhere or nowhere
exactly here

and when I am here
really here
I feel my feelings
hope and fear
love and desire
when I am not numbed by a screen
I am on fire

sometimes it is
too much to feel
too visceral
too bright
too real

and so I spend my time online
afraid to be a human
afraid to be alive

I cannot measure up to anything
other than the best that I can be

to make oneself the king
of all us lesser gods
I cast the shadow of my soul
on your indifference
the thin razor edge of your words
drip from edges eroded by these eons
of ignorance

my mind and heart are constantly at
war ;
to prove to each other their
power.
When I let my heart decide
my mind refuse to take my side
but ;
whenever I let my mind to score a win
my heart goes in a terrible spin.

They both make me confuse with their advice  
It make me over think everything twice

You have to learn to let you mind and heart
win;
and this is a wonderful art .
Sometimes They both give you strife ;
but this is all experiencing
life.

sometimes eyes become so heavy that its start rains ,
and
Sometimes lips become so heavy that we can't smile,
but
we can wipe someone tears
and
we can make someone smile.

😊
.