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"I love you"
"I Hate you"
Really though they are the same
The more you HATE
The more you show how much you care
The more you LOVE
The more you're open to despair
"I love you..."
"I love you...."
"I LOVE YOU....."
Like I'm pleading for you to need me
Like I need you to want me
Your attention is all I want
Your touch is all I need
I scream in my own head over & over
And it's so good!
Until
I can't take this anymore
Until
Maybe I don't want you to need me
Until
Please stop touching me
Until
Why are we still doing this
Until
"I hate you"
EVERY thing about you makes me mad
Your hair
Your eyes
The way you speak like you KNOW everything
News flash
You don't
"I hate you"
The way you walk
The soft skin you have
The way you held me
"I hate you"
That you made me feel
That you left
That you're not here
"I HATE YOU"
Not just Because loving you got So hard
But because
Hating you made me realize
How much 'I still love you"
When i'm going through the pain
When it's all in vain
When i'm broken in my bed
When i'm falling from the heights
When I put the world aside
When there's no light
When life becomes a lie
When im standing in the dark
When the time stretches by
When wind blew high
When the stroms tear apart
When the moon split in half
When I crawled in the dark
When I hear only howls
When I see no light
When I'm standing at the edge
When I don't feel alive
When I feel so lone
But I fear no more
It's not something new
Something I've been through
everyday and night.
But all I need is you.
Words spill out my mind
As I write my writes
There is always a find
To ink in with highlights

Subjective, scenarios, facts
Imaginary, dreams, best
I am so consumed, infact
I hardly take time to rest

I feel at ease when I write
Words speak up from every line
Dull days light up, too bright
Rest of the days go so fine

I scribble on paper but
It's hard to read
So I type in my notepad
And post it, in the feed

Writing is part of my relaxation
A therapy that takes away my tension
It's a wonderful feel of sensation
Like my heart is beating in it's mansion...


©sim
All I want is to say goodbye.
All I want is just to die.
Happiness flirts with me,
Then turns it's back.
I've lost myself,
Will I ever come back?
I'm right here and nobody sees me.
They talk with me, laugh with me, fight with me, but they don't see me.

It's not all their fault,
I'm hiding again.
I care too much,
I'm too intimidated.

Do I do this to others?
Do they care too much what I think?
Do I intimidate them?

I know I'm guilty, we all are.
Why does it matter so much?
Why can't we let ourselves be free?

We're such fools, we keep hiding, and
wave goodbye as life passes by.
My mother loves me, I know it well.
She never says it, she doesn't know how, she'll never hug me, she'll never kiss me.
I've always been too fat, I've always been too foolish.

But when my seizure's over and I'm lying helpless on the floor, my head's in her lap and her tears bathe my face.
As I come back to myself, all I want is her comfort.
As I come back to myself her comfort disappears and her strength returns.

My mother loves me, I know it well.
She always shows it, the only way she knows how.
Loneliness is my partner.
It walks by my side.
It surrounds me selfishly, keeping me prisoner.

I must break free, I must find a way.

Loneliness and pride walk hand in hand.
Blinding me to all the joys I may claim.

I'll save myself.
I don't know how, but I have no choice.
These feet are two, they'll never be more.
But stand I must and in me I trust.
So many sides to me, so much to see.
I'm strong, I'm weak, I'm shy, I'm brash.
A different me for every day.
I know how to save a life, while I desperately want to take my own.
I juggle my options daily
So far I've not found Peace....

She's an elusive mistress who's shadow resides in a bottle.

He calls to me daily and politely I answer.
Oblivion follows, the many 'mes' sleep.

Waking (another curse) I have to face my many sides, who will it be today?
Who's shaking hand will answer Oblivion's call tonight?
Thoroughly foolish
Rudely idiotic
Utterly stupid
Mean self-absorption
Pompous arrogance

Hinduism calls our times the 'Demon Age'
Are you the proof?
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