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I kept chasing
you, as if
you were
a distant dream.
But dreams
are not always
Sometimes, we have
nightmares too.
When did those dreams turned into nightmares? When did I stop believing in the magic of dreams?
i was born
with a heart too big to fit
inside my chest
and a soul bigger than my body
so i have chosen
to leave pieces of my heart
in the places my feet have known
in the people i have loved
in the words i have read
in the beauty my eyes have seen
and my soul-
i have scattered it like seeds
and i have left parts of it
in songs,
in poetry,
in the laughter of children,
in the arms that have held me
and the hearts that have loved me
I'm sitting on the terrace
Of the condo of my aunt
And trying to enjoy the breeze
But sadly, I just can't.

For next door there's a neighbor
I can't see, behind the wall,
Yet his smoking habit somehow seems
To permeate us all.

He obviously steps outside
So all his inside air
Stays relatively clean; at least
The smoke won't hover there.

But what he doesn't think of
Is about the smoke he blows,
Or when it wafts exactly
Where it is that vapor goes.

If he would ask, I'd answer
'Cause no matter what he thinks,
It's invasive and intrusive
And to top it off, it stinks!
The student rushed
to the Zen Master
and exclaimed
' I'm enlightened!'
  remarked the latter
   with an acuncular smile
  ' Sixty years I've laboured
    that sentence I still can't utter!'
Opening a heart is ripping apart a cage.
People talk of keys, but I have
Been locked away without light.

And then I saw
Us walking down the street
Later than we should have been
And I kept hoping you wouldn’t notice how I stumbled.

It wasn’t much
But a fleeting time
Wasting nights and
Stealing days.

And then I --
Sitting in a stairwell
Later than it should have been
Hoping that you noticed how I stumbled
Upon you.

But it wasn’t much
But a fleeting time
Wasting nights and
Stealing days.

And I noticed that while I had stumbled upon you,
You didn’t catch me.

It wasn’t much.
But a fleeting time.
Wasting nights and
Stealing days.

The thought of you, and what had been.

And then I dreamed
Us walking down the street
Later than it should have been
For the kids
And you stumbled into me.

It wasn’t much
But a fleeting fantasy.
Wasting nights and stealing days.
Morning has broken
but she has not
it had been a long night
sinister fraught
the stars were cut
in lacerations of lace
          stains of tears
                      mark trails
                   on her face
mascara in circles
mocking panda eyes
multiple moments
of almost self-demise
wrists bound to
          sadness, heart
trussed to trust
pain from crumbling
illusions, plus
that constant,
          searing lust
Now, on the floor,
lying face down
in what seemed
              like blood,
she starts to
                 move around,
as realization pours over
in a thick, viscous flood:
She can move her arms;
for they were not
                really bound
That gag in her mouth?
it has dissolved into sound
The sound of her voice
as she gets up
        from the floor
opens the window
bringing light
            to the fore
guttural noises
escape deep
                 from her throat
and before she
knows it, the
room starts to float
furniture circling
as the energy takes
        and she lets in the air
             fresh as new fate
her cuts balmed over
         winds whipping up her hair
marks from taut ropes
smoothing over to bare
and the light bursts in
          in a blast, in a whoosh
like bursts of starlight
cutting in with a push
they seep into shadows
pulsing over the dark
the howling rescinds
          in an explosion of sparks
blocks of pain that held
her chained
are knocked over
and the lightstorm
                keeps coming
her inner percussion
just doesn't stop drumming
      And as she flies through that window
and unhinges the door
            from its frame
            is now hers
            forever to claim
Finally feeling good/peaceful after an intense emotional period

To fit the mystical occasion:
(a little Massive attack ;)
also listened to during the writing: "Burn the Witch" by Radiohead
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