If I could love
the limping
ugly
afraid
part of me
That I drag through the mud
and thorns

If I could let
the transparent
clawing
screaming
silhouette speak
Instead of kicking it
into the basement

If I could put
my deepest human essence
onto paper
for everyone to see

Then.
Then, I could be free.

the flowers are growing,
the sun is starting to shine some more, so should you.

I get jealous because the girls who had the opportunity to call you
  "mine" before I did,

Did not deserve you.

there are drinks and drugs that can run through your blood stream and enter your mind and make you a lot happier than you are sober.
they can make you forget the worries of the world and they can take your pain away.

there are people like that too.

Baby one of these days,
one of these years,
happiness will be the end of me.
Tell everybody that I'm sorry
and they needn't worry.
For their goal was my happiness,
but all I accumulated were reasons
for my farewell.
For their sadness and tears will fade overtime,
but my pursuit of happiness is just eternal torture.