I think im nostalgic for life
Through music
And books
Because i havent lived
A day of my life

No one really lives
In this town

And i think im poetic
Because im homeless
But i live in a house
But im not
Im not poetic
Im just a brat

What's left for me
I'm not depressed happy or sad
Not upset angry or mad
Emotionless
As calm as the sea after the hurricane  
Only thought after thought in my brain
What are they telling me
My brain doesn't even understand me
And yet it controls me?
What a contradiction
Feeling sorry for me ?
Dont, empathy I dont need
It would be a waste of time I don't have
Just waiting on the next wave this world going to throw at me
Taking it head on
Head strong
I'd sell you some thoughts but I'm selfish
Plus you couldn't handle them
Chances of descripting is slim to none
Thoughts mysterious like rain when its sunny
So you get none
I have nothing else to say  
But what's left for me

I don't want you to see the beauty in me
I want you to see beauty

I had never believed you
When you said you loved me
It must have been a joke
No way it could be true

The stars, I was surprised indeed.
The way that you looked
At me I could see them,
Stars I never knew existed

As you struggled for words
Your eyes said it all. You loved
Me. At that very moment,
I had no doubt whatsoever
That I loved you too.

myaddiction

I'm addicted to love.
And
I'm addicted to blond hair.
And
the color blue.
and
I'm addicted to the smell of smoke.
And
I'm addicted to the way I feel around you.
And
I'm addicted to green eyes.
And
Im addicted to sunshine.
And
warmth.
I'm addicted to sadness.
And
I'm addicted to hiding.

But most of all.

*I'm addicted to being alone.

discard me, darling.
I'm water-damaged,
torn
and not worth much.

The last time I cried, I told myself it would be the last time.
The last time I'd remember what it feels like.
What it feels like to be a stranger in my own eyes.
Like glass thats been shattered a thousand times.
The pieces never fit together right.
I'm tired of breathing just to survive.
When the ground is breaking, and I've lost my light
I'm drowning in a sea of lies, until I'm tired of trying.
As I stare in the mirror
longing I will someday recognize ,
I remembered the last time.
The last time I cried I told myself It would be the last time.
I told myself I'd be fine.
Am I?