At least graveyards are a constant

Can I be your Da Vinci?
I'll help you paint that fake smile, clearly.
Quit running home and painting your thighs red
Run and lay your
Head
On my bed
Instead.
Don't look in my closet
The skeleton named 'typical' hides to drag me into this deep blue
And he's looking for you to come too.

Someone doesn't have to die
For you to lose them.

It's that time of year.
Heat begins to fall, along with the leaves
and everyone's self esteem.
A year ago I wouldn't have worried
Or even thought of how it ended in a hurry.
I don't know if you've seen
But school buses look different at 6:15
Everyone pretends they notice
Yet they neglect  the death of the while lotus.
All I can hope is they get better
That we can find an answer
Life is just pretentious
Passing us by endless.
I don't know if you've seen
But school buses look different at 6:15
Everyone pretends they notice,
Yet they neglect  the death of the while lotus.
A year ago I wouldn't have worried.

It's 9pm
And it's cloudy again
My demons are not what you have
But what you have is not what you want
Because you just go around and flaunt
But I'm just trying to be me
Why can't anyone see
I'm tired of fighting this world alone
Tired of going to bed with God on the phone
I need thirty more minutes of sleep
I need to find me
But too much static on this channel
And then there's him with his **** flannel
Why do I do this to me and to you
I'm sure you're missing me too
But just don't know what I've been going through
The sky is dark blue now
Don't be scared anymore my friend
It's just a frown

I regret the day I
Introduced you to my demons
Now you and sit and talk
While with them I walk.
I need to call out for help yet
They would tell you.

The last I love you was a waste of breath
that I'm sure I'll be missing as I lie
down on my deathbed
yearning for
one
more
second.

I'm sorry
That you're sorry
You're just so unapologetic,
Why can't you see that I'm being romantic.
Now
Stop.
Listen,
I'm full of insecurities
But nothing you can do will cure me of this disease.
And I'm sorry
That you're sorry
I bring this on myself,
Leave me alone, like a book on a shelf.
I'll,
Collect some dust,
and watch you from afar
Maybe one day
Someone will see me for more than they are.

I'm sitting all alone
Listening to blink 182
I can't stop thinking of how I hate you.
But please don't hang up the phone
Don't load the gun
When you're trying to blow off steam
Because I know exactly were to shoot your self esteem.

I'm miles away from home
The air is colder
The people unfamiliar
But for some reason
I feel a sense of purpose
I think I'm closer to finding
You

I hope these words
Make you fall for me
Because I don't have much going for me
Maybe the way you heard,
How I speak your name.
Will affect the breaths you take.
And I'll find what I need to spark the flame.
Whisper to me how I can fix your heartache.

Love me like you did
The night we were in the city.
I'm sorry I won't stop talking,
You just looked so pretty.
We got lost on the highway
But we were fine.
Stuck in time
On the dark sandy beach.
I'm sorry I won't stop talking,
You just looked so cunning.
In the reflection of my memory.
I'm sure you're  sharing
All my secrets with him
Like you have been,
Because I was never enough.
I'm better now
Her eyes are deeper.
Hopefully she won't,
Tear out my heart
And leave it on the floor.

You were never the kind
Of person
Who could
Get comfortable, who could settle down.
I felt the uprooting.
You set fire to this house
You let the smoke rise,
Before you warned me of danger.
Only when you were safe,
Could I be warned.
By then it was too late.
I had already suffocated.

Sometimes I just
Wish I couldn't
Feel at
All

Stop
Let the music play,
Sing along to my favorite song.
Hold my hand
We can drive until we run out of gas.
Through this southern night
In our eighteenth year,
We laugh and stare.
I'm trying hard to feel again
Light the spark
And we'll wake up tomorrow and
Face our fears together.

I want to tell you
The words that's come to mind
When you smile the way you do.
But I'm not the kind
Of guy.
That makes the first move.
So I guess this is goodbye,

Nothing says
"I love you"
More than
An
Anxiety attack.

I can't seem to articulate what I feel, how I think,
And how I perceive this world.
I've given up on shaking
This feeling of being
Misunderstood.

I remember the warm nights
The silent drives
The laughs
But not the cries
I wasn't there
You wouldn't let me
Too scared
You had to protect me
So let me,
Take your hand again.
We'll drive somewhere new
You can tell me of.
Let's not focus on the date,
And time ticking away.
Until the storms return,
We'll pray during our infamous
Hydroplane.
That our breaks don't fail us.
If they do, I'll crash with you.

I have this dream of a,
blood orange sky rippling
Down through the cracked window pane,
Of this crumbling house.
The faint sigh of faded beauty
Resonates among these chipped walls.
We walk there down
the boulevard from when we were happy.
Yet all I can feel is the fleeting feeling, I felt when
your lipstick stained
my cheek for the
final time.

Silently lie in the grass,
On the hill above the lights.
Steal a kiss,
In between ,
Each drag on this cigarette.
And
Let's
Take bets on which is more
Dangerous.

Do you ever think of us?
Or are we a lost cause
That I'm still fighting for?

Will we ever leave this page of hypothetical love?

I grew up knowing what my future held
My dreams crushed by aspirations
I didn't care.
But why
It seems
On the eleventh hour
Do I forget everything.
I don't know what I want anymore.
Please if it's one thing
Don't follow the crowd.
That's it.
Now I walk in a room full of forgotten friends
What happened in these past years?
Just
Don't let
Life slip through
My fingers.

I prefer you over sleep
Your dark brown eyes engulf me
Keep talking
Drowned out my enemy's
I prefer sad faces
Over bright smiles
I'm attracted to broken people
So why can't I love myself?
Drape your black hair over my pillow again
Make these thoughts go away
I prefer you over sleep
I prefer music over nicotine

I simply think you're gorgeous beyond description.

I have this feeling
I think I lost something.
Or never had it at all.
Did it slip pass me as I daydreamed of tomorrow?
I need someone
A person who knows,
What happiness is.
Rid me of this confusion
Take me on a long drive.
Somewhere new,
Somewhere you knew,
And teach me
How to live.

The lightning cracked down the sky
Like my heart did
The night you didn't say goodbye
Pitiful, behind him you hid.
How dumb I've been,
I'll stay here and listen to the faint beat of thunder while I try to hum,
The song we loved, this boring restraint.
Oh wait
This is heat lighting.

It's the time of year again
I can see my breath fade my friend
The way your perfume
Stirred in my bedroom
You stood next to me last year
Why am I still here
I followed you into that dark abyss
Why'd you leave me with a poison kiss

Growing up I always heard,
Over and over,
Again.
Never judge a book by it's cover.
Between you and me I always heard,
Over and over,
again.
Never leave my side.
So can you tell me why
You never you never read my
First chapter?

Cheers to those moments
When your heart drops
But the butterflies don't follow.
Cheers to those moments,
Your hand begins to quiver
But no one is near to hold it.
Cheers to those moments,
You read the last period on the text
And tell yourself,
Never,
Get your hopes up,
Again.

Maybe I should be content
Perhaps life was being kind to me
It took everyone away gradually
Instead of in a handful.

Did you ever
Think on behalf of my feelings
Next time
Think of how selfish you are
When you say
I love you.

Put on another record
Now let's lay together
You say it doesn't matter
Yet can't you hear the faint shatter?
Count back from ten
Please let's start again
I'm sick of this constricting quarantine,
baby can't you see?
You're my dopamine.

Right now
life feels
like a late night drive
into the middle of nowhere,
it's 3 am and
I can't see.
Okay I guess I could use map
Yet no one has one.
Oh well,
I'm not going places
Maybe All I need is a hiatus.

I have this bad habit
When I wake up all
I can think about is
You.

Would you please take my hand?
I know it's cliché but let's run away from here
No let's walk
It'll give us more time to talk.
On nights like this I wish you were closer.
The thin air is turning colder again.
It brings back the memories I don't have of you.
And I'm not sure what I'm feeling but it won't go away.
So please would you take my hand and walk somewhere with me?

I have this weird feeling
The feeling you have when you miss someone
Or when you're homesick
But I'm  home
And my friends are too
I still feel nothing is here

I feel like,
By the time I'm finished preparing for my future
I'll be too old to remember
The things I enjoy.

You say you love me
I wonder what will make you change your mind,
This time.

I walked through a rose bush simply to find you the perfect rose
I reached the other side
Only
To find I was bleeding and alone

I'm tired but I can't sleep
I'm hungry but I can't eat
But you
You keep coming back for me
Or is it just what I think
Nothing more than a blink
And you're gone.
Is this the disease?
Or the attention I need?
They say a chemical imbalance
I plead
It's not that but more
But Words cannot explore
The lack
Of what
I'm feeling.

The rain drops fall on my skin,
yet I don't feel drenched.
I hear it, I know it's there
Kind of how I feel,
when you whisper I love you.
I hear the words but nothing
follows
We've done exactly
what I've feared.
E i g h t  l e t t e r s,
have become a routine,
The clouds break over head
Downpour,
But I'm numb

I want my friends back,
But the thief named
adulthood stole them
from me.

I want to say you were good for nothing
But that's a lie
You were good at keeping me alive
I bottled everything up inside
You were my release
You sparked the fire,
that delivered a cascade of emotion,
from a boy who didn't speak
But that's not,
What you were good at.
You left
And now.
I have something to do again,
Fill the bottle once more

Recently life has been nothing more,
Than fleeting moments dragging me under.
And you're what my thoughts turn to
When I'm sad,
Do you bring this downcast or a small glimmer of hope,
Simply enough to keep me from burning down?
But.
I love you, maybe I just love the thought of you.
No I love you.
But I can't say it.
That's why,
I'm putting it in this pathetic poem that no one's gonna read,
That's why,
I'm a pathetic person that no one's gonna need.
I look at you but you can't see me,
Try a little harder,
I simply need a favor
Can you keep this between you and me?
Because I'm just a pathetic person that no one's gonna need.
This was my attempt to get it all out on paper,
But this is just a screen.