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The whirlpool of emotions pulls me under,
and I am tired of treading water
I am tired of trying to stay afloat
I am just a girl who wonders of what ifs
I am just a girl who feels too much,

who knows where you are hurt,
even when you haven’t said it out loud
Maybe if I learned to hold myself a little gently,
it wouldn’t ache this way
Maybe happiness isn’t built from sadness,

no matter how familiar it feels
I am just a girl who wants a quiet place,
to love and be loved,
without asking for it
I am just a girl, still searching
cautious and well in reach
the badminton flying thing
unfolds into the air

yet props have commented on
without equity
upon the game and
sit
still while a grunge era
          
is reborn

and fallopian tubes
become the cause
of my paranoia.
it's okay.
i promise.
its almost over.

she was wrong.
now,
i can't see the grace in
the birds landing,
sending a gentle ripple
in my quiet, little world.

the beauty in
the roses dancing;
a ballet,
a classical piece
in my silent, hopeless world.

maybe i'm broken
because when the birds sing
i hear a haunting melody
they sing to me
like the voices in my head
bringing me closer
and closer
and closer
until i'm driven ******* crazy

all i can see in the roses
are the thorns that ***** me
while i silently wish
they would ***** me all across my throat

maybe i'm broken
but that's okay
all of us are

because at some point
the tape will peel off
the glue will wear down
but

it's okay
i promise
it's almost over
we
          are
not
         the
same


        and i hope
we never are.

       you
worthless
     hopeless
undeserving
      awful
monster.

we
          are
not
         the
same.
when words fail you
silence smothers you
fears surround you
you borrow inside yourself


                   waiting


                              till that special friend

                         brings you back

your heart and mind
Forget when I wrote this
I have loved you
From the moment our eyes
Met across the crowded street
On that scorching summer day

And though summer
Soon came to a bitter end
I have loved you through
Every season ever since

And I guess I always will
"at least you aren't gonna body slam me
i'd die if you body slam me"
WHAAAT
my sister told me this yesterday
i'm gonna flip the **** out
How do I write a poem about the fact that in my childhood bedroom I had about 10 glow-in-the-dark stars blue-tacked to my ceiling, and that I could touch them if I stood on my bed on my tippy toes, and now, in my 3rd year of university, in the the house I rent with my friends, I have ridiculously high ceilings and a projector that shows me a galaxy?

How do I describe the feeling of staring into the bathroom mirror at my 20 year old reflection and seeing the ghost of my younger self looking back at me from behind my bloodshot eyes? We both stand there at two thirty in the morning with tears running down our cheeks, our hands angrily ****** in our hair and our stomachs ****** in to the point of pain. I can't tell her that it'll stop, because it hasn't.

The dreams she had slip further and further away from me. I can't reach the stars anymore.
I find myself back on this site after years. I don't know what that means for me, but we'll figure it out together.
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