Of course I want to come inside you
But I want something more
Something you'll never understand
When I wish you did
I can show you I love you
But can you show me the same?

Shaquille O'Neal
Wears tuxedos
Just a couple of thoughts
Is there a market for gigantic tuxedos?
There must be,
because they are being made
And worn
Which means somebody had to pay for it
But more to the point
If there is a market for such a thing
Who decides that's what they needed to do?
Make tuxedos for seven footers
What is that guy like?

And what kind of kid was he?

Does the water force itself down a mountain?
Searching out obstacles
Looking for a path with resistance

Does the sun rise because the darkness laughs?
Rising earlier
Trying to prove something

Do my words flow onto paper
Because I want to be heard?
Or because I have something to say?

Sometimes its a lesson learned
A lesson too late
I should have been what I can be
And not what I was
Sometimes we know the price
Only after we pay
I should have known what it meant to me
It was everything

I only learned
That I should be strong
When I bore the weight
Of the pain my weakness caused

Sometimes I sit and wonder what would be
But thats only wishful thinking

Sometimes I think
Sometimes I feel
There is a difference

God
Or whatever god is
The universe
The cycles we don't understand

and you were mine

Let me digress

God
(As I've explained him above)
Or whatever god is
(The order in the chaos if you will)
The universe
(What we are, were, and will be)
The cycles we don't understand
(Some kind of ****** up cosmic plan)

Has designed it
So we can not lose
What truly belongs to us
So it is important
Nay, its is essential
That we not lose our joy and hope
When it seems we have suffered a loss

and you were mine

let me digress

All worldly possessions are transitory anyways

We got so much things to say
So much things to say
If only someone listening
So much things to say

We got so much things to say I know
So much things to say
Explain away our pain we would
So much things to say

Still so much things to say right now
So much things to say
Even if its meaningless
So much things to say

This is a song
Where I've lost most everything
But all I really need
Is a cigarette

And as I'm painting glorious pictures
As I'm waltzing through the hills
I find existence
In my own mind

Lowly low
How the wall of Jericho
Came crashing down

I'm underneath the surface
With all the air that I can breath

This is a psalm
A sacred scripture
Where the moon that rises high
Is not always full

But its full tonight
And I find colors in the dark
I find peace
That cannot be

Height of highs
God is found in love and song
And abandoned temples

I'm trapped and conquered
And feeling free

Painting all the walls
In my
Room of every color
Hoping something sticks
But I
Stuck on what I hope for

Maybe another day
Maybe but I can't see
Maybe another way
Maybe that cannot be
When there's something in the way
And the spirits and the speakers
Something all in vein
And the spirit starts to leave me

I can't change the station
When the
Music becomes somber
Waiting on a song
But I
Cannot wait much longer

Painting all the walls
In my
Room of every color
Hoping something sticks
But I
Stuck on what I hope for

Maybe another day
Maybe but I can't see
Maybe another way
Maybe that cannot be
When there's something in the way
And the spirits and the speakers
Something all in vein
And the spirit starts to leave me

I can't change the station
When the
Music becomes somber
Waiting on a song
But I
Cannot wait much longer

Song bird
I ask for nothing more
Than that if you sing
You sing for me
A sweet lullaby
To help me sleep
Song bird
Your feathers may be torn
And you can hardly fly
But the notes you reach
Still reach me
I'll never leave your nest
Song bird
I am but a crow
With blackness in my soul
But I feel alright
Within your gentle melody
I feel your light
Song bird
I hope that you don't mind
If I sing along
All out of tune
I find hope inside your song
A place where I belong

Song bird
Would you sing a song
About love
Because thats all I'm thinking of
Ill be your greatest audience
You'll be my peace of mind
Song bird
There is nothing more beautiful in the world

Soon enough
This soggy eyed pollution
Acid rain and broken logic
Soon enough
The old man tells the young
It all will become clear
Soon enough

That maybe a rose
That grows from her hands
Reaches through her lips
Speaking words without thorns
That even the beast
In the seas can understand
Leviathan

Soon enough
All the years are leading to
what is to be
Soon enough
The wars have been fought
Are part of history
Soon enough

That a child in her heart
Sings a song of innocence
It gives color to her words
Soft and gentle hues
That even shine into her eyes
As I look into
And feel creation

Soon enough
We will see the hidden constellations
Are stars that we call home
Soon enough
The dreams we hold onto
Become something we can feel
Soon enough

I was lost in utter darkness
When I found out what my light is

love will feel  
heart life time  
the eyes  
the light  
the hands  
the pain  
the night where I find hope
the stars that hold our meaning  
soul
beautiful
sing forever

beautiful hope              i
true feeling                                  J
  stars  write memories
   mind      sun                     e
heart    e     moon
eyes               day
hands         night                l                      r
   face to the sky
     r                      happiness
feelREAL                                                               i
                             SOUL CRY          o
  reason  will        breathe                            i
         reach   days
be   love                        n
hold      step
bright  star                                  T
sweet cherry blossom      r
there is music

Many people have felt that way
What you are experiencing now
Being owned by the world
Becoming all the desires and worthless pastimes
You're taught on the TV screen
The next swimming pool in the backyard
The next new pretty face
Your time and destiny no longer your own

Forget all the thoughts that culture has forced on you
And do what you know is good
Fight for the simple truthful pleasures
For which your soul desires

Its a boulder of worries
Vollies of arrows
Sent in flurries
And the one that pierces my heart

Helps me fall asleep
With a smile on my face
Win or lose the human race
I'm done with all the give and take

And so what
Everything going wrong
The more that you pay the less you get
Because the price is always changing

And I'll be penniless
With a smile on my face
Win or lose the human race
I'm done with all the give and take

So what
My girl thinks I'm crazy
She'll never leave me
I know she loves me

I could die tomorrow
With a smile on my face
Win or lose the human race
I'm done with all the give and take

I only care about love

Chasms open between us
Nightfall makes once light be dark
And winter settles in
All is barren, brittle, dead

So how?

Mountains are the life
Getting in between keeping you close to me
And rivers I cant swim
And when I tried, I'm swept away, I drown

So what?

And mask that I still wear
A disguise that if I see you
You won't recognize
That I still beat on the drum and sigh

So why?
Why am I still happy
Even though I know
When the light on the corner comes on
I know your with him
That you've forgotten all the lies you told to me
You've lost all your love

So why?
I guess I found a love of my own
A love I don't have to share
A love that has always been there
A love of life
Love for myself

Spare me a dime?
I know this girl
Well, I kind of know her
And she has to make a call
So on her behalf
I'm asking around
For change
Spare me a dime?
Because I know where a payphone is
And she can use it

I was bowling and
I couldn't pick up the spare
And on the drive home
From the alleyways
My tire went flat
Spare me a tire?
It can be a spare

Its just I have to go see this girl I know
Well I kind of know
I don't really know her
But I want her to make the call
If she needs to
Spare me a dime?

I'm asking around
For change

It was stubborn brittle broken branches
It was heavy-handed heated blindness
At least I know
To say the least
It was only dreary muddy darkness
Only something to believe
At least I know
I left a spark

S     i      L        n           O   e
       U                      P
    e         E      e     D             A
E      d           R     y
      K        o                    u

                        ­  And now these demons
                    Speak louder
                       These fears are my constant companions
             Are my darkness are my friends
I don't want to hear and I don't want to be alone
                                I won't they are always with me
Unless you speak louder show me your with me
   I promise I'll hear you  you'll be my angel

I promise I'll love                         my light in the darkness

                    Speak louder *I need you

Love and loss
The gods gave us hope
Knowing without it we won't survive
And the times we grieve
Are in between the times we smile
Love and loss
Joy and anguish
And without words
I speak the language

Help me
I call on hands above
I fall on knees and pray
I see both sides
I walk through a door
Help me
As I navigate
This river of fate
I see the end
But not how to reach

And rip me open
Three times a name in a mirror
I see it all the time
I see when my eyes are closed

Help me
A voice in silence
Speaking in my mind
In my heart
I see both sides
Help me
Help me reach

I don't know what to write,
So I'll open up my heart,
And let the spirits speak to me

They always speak such wisdom

Religion
Has ruined
Spirituality

This is the sunlight
Breaking clouds apart
And bursting in my eyes
Like ten million angels
Playing the most beautiful songs
In heaven and earth
Her body
I am no longer afraid of night
I see her in my dreams
And sense with everything
Even my hands
Even my heart
Her soul
And the flowers will bloom
Only when the time is right
When spring brightens the day
And melts the ice that covered the world
That covered my sight
And covered my hope
Her being
And could be
Winter is coming
But her love
I will still be warm
As all that I need
Her life
Is my life

I used to like the sound of spring
We sit under the muscadine
The flowers only bloom
We too
We too

I watched with youthful vision
Thinking this
Is why I'm living
And love was merely matephor
For life

I used to like the sound of spring
The wrens and in the citrus grove
The honeysuckles sweet
We too
We too

I felt in jubilation
Thinking this
Is my salvation
And hope was born with every sun
Will rise

I've read many a book since then
Suffered many a scar

I used to like the sound of spring
I used to

Fruit on the vine
So many emotions pouring into me
Spirits....

Sounds of the horns
far off in the distance so deep in my soul
Angels

Demons...


I felt so all alone

I can only gamble now
And it's all house money
It's all lose or break even
Even
Even I Heaven affords me the greatest of benediction

Starts in the soil
Buried deep under the detritus of decomposition
A seed

Warmth of the sun
Heavenly blissful rays onto a soul
Flowers

Demons....

I was always alone

And taking chances
It's all house money
My compounded debt until tomorrow
Tomorrow
Tomorrow still brings a sweet sunrise

A smile

If heaven can forgive me for me and my sins
If heaven can forgive

Fruit on the vine
Ripe for picking
Now
Before she spoils
And all is left as rot

Fruit on the vine
My hands are busy harvesting
Angel

Angel

You're not going to find
Some ingenious new way through the wall
By banging your head against it some more

Too much the darkness
A haunting bitter trial of smoke in my eyes
Where nights grow so long they swallow days
I'll be afraid of light
That it would expose my many scars

I'm only waiting to hear that voice once again
My sweet and sullen love
My only friend
In a world where we sit on corners under street lights
And believe in everything they say

lead me not astray.....

I'm standing in the light
With my scars exposed
The only thing I've ever known to be real
My years all leading to
My tears becoming stone

My greatest fears
I show to you

Does it ever get better?
If we fight can we win the war?
Is it useless effort?
Is it hope for nothing?

This is the state of concern
A state of concern

I know you wanted more
I'm sorry this
I'm sorry that
I gave you all could

Will our people have to suffer
To have the life they want to live?
Will our problems drown us all
In oceans of worry?

Will our love be enough to lift us up?
A state of concern

I know you wanted more
I'm sorry this
I'm sorry that
I gave you all I could
I knew it never would be enough

I live in the state of North Carolina
In a constant state of dissarray

It’s more a greyness
And inch by inch the the greyness spreads
Covering the sallowed ground
It’s inch by inch then foot by foot
Steady aiming at my heart

But I found color
And even as the world is doomed
I find a flower blooming
A light that shows in darkness
The colors shine

my favorite color
something beautiful in this ugly world
give me any hope
show me I can dream
this life is bigger than it seems

And no space there ever could contain
Even planets move to sing your name
as if the music made us
Loving you where words can only fall behind
Loving you outside the scope of time

If a rose is a rose
Called by any other name
Is it still a rose, if a stem is all that remains?

If a rose is a rose
Called by any other name
Is it still a rose, if a stem is all that remains?

It still has thorns

Its just the belief that everything will be okay that keeps me fighting when I'm losing the war

I'll tell you this...
No eternal reward will forgive us now
For wasting the dawn.

Back in those days everything was simpler and more confused
One summer night, going to the pier
I ran into two young girls
The blonde one was called Freedom
The dark one, Enterprise
We talked and they told me this story
Now listen to this...
I'll tell you about Texas radio and the big beat
Soft driven, slow and mad
Like some new language
Reaching your head with the cold, sudden fury of a divine messenger
Let me tell you about heartache and the loss of god
Wandering, wandering in hopless night
Out here in the perimeter there are no stars

Out here we are ******
Immaculate.

You as a layman
May never experience this
And it is most likely
You won't
But
If you ever catch on fire
Remember the three rules I speak of now
1.stop
          Don't panic, realize your situation, and that you can be okay though calm, concerted effort, don't run! Running only creates oxygen to fuel the flame
2.drop
         Fall to the floor, even the very act of being on the floor smothers whatever part of you that is burning that hits the floor. And it is necessary to be on the floor to achieve the most important lesson being taught within my words
3.telephone
          Now that you are on the floor, pull out your telephone. Strike a pose, and take a selfie. Because for gods sake you are on fire, and you know that it can go viral. And really, dying by burning to death is worth it if you are able to entertain someone in doing so. Instagram will go crazy over you

And I suppose step four would be after you have a picture you like, then  roll to put the fire out. But most people never make it this far.

I tie my eyes to the skies
When the wind screams so close
So far away
everyday a cast of millions
Only lonely drops of rain
Reaching for an ocean

Let me sink
Don't let me swim
Let me find an empty end
When the wind that brings the storm
Makes me smile
When the storm on the horizon
Screams my fate
And I'll be put into the ground
For once
For good

I'll feel much better
When I feel not at all
When the rain becomes my flood
And nothings left to fall
This storm that was my enemy
becomes me

There is wind inside my mind
I want to love you
I'm going to love you
But right now
Gale forces are escalating
These waves are hungry
And swallowing me whole

I'm a fear
I am a sailor
I'm at the bottom of the ocean

There is pain inside my heart
You know I love you
My blood loves you
My hope
But my mind
I'll survive these brutal squalls
These bashing waves
These hateful storms

But I don't know how

Still
I'm sure I will

Believe in me
Even when I don't want you to
When I can't believe in myself
Be my island
Be my shore
My solid ground
My shelter

Give me reason to believe
When I can't believe in anything
Be my sunshine
To **** grey skies

Be
What I need
And one day I'll be
Your everytning

That which didn't **** me
Gave me a second chance
To see the light breaking over
The shadowy horizon
A new day
A new way
I can be grateful

And all my broken promises
Are from a life before
When I didn't know what I meant
Or what it means

Well that which didn't **** me
Brought me the a place
Where I can see
Where I believe
A new day
A new way
To be strong

God when I make it to the morning
It seems as though my worry
Has caused never ending night
Once I see that sunrise
I'll know about glory
Everything is gonna be alright
Let my hope become the morning
Let those first few drops of light
Reflect in your swimming pool eyes

No matter what I'm going through
I'll always be strong
To be strong for you

And I'll be strong
For you
If that is what you want for me to do
And I'll be strong
For you
Only if I know what you're going through

I pray for the flowers of spring
Its seems as though my sadness
Became a frozen barren forest
Once I see it thawing
I'll know about beauty
Everything is gonna be alright
Let my love become the spring
Let the warmth I have to give
Settle into your heart

No matter what I'm going through
I'll always be strong
To be strong for you

I fell in a hole
I can get out
If I want

I don't have
                       to
                           do
                                Anything


Just               ­                                         Be

Just breathe
And let the world
Come
          to
              me
Because
I was made to enjoy sunsets
And starlight
The way the waves roll on the beach
And
        really
Nothing I can do
Can make
What is truly
        S
          U
             B
                L
                   I
                     M
                         E

More beautiful

To be successful you need skill
And circumstance
I have one but
Not the other

I must feel
Must'nt we
Who have felt how numb
We can be
At such insistence of a world
Gone wrong

I know saint's
And sinners
Who act as though they're winner's
When they lose
At anytime and not know why
If it's real

Then here is forever
We never learned
We never tried
And the saddest part
The brightest
Have never seen why

Aren't we commited
To a path
When we see we can never get back
Such a sight
That can **** eternal soul

Such a life
Such a life.......

Voice in the sky
Calling my name
Choices I've made
Prices I've paid
Hands from the sky
Rip me open
Suffer begin
Unfriendly end

God forgive me
For the times when I was wrong
God have mercy
For the times when I have sinned

Stars in the sky
Guide my way home
A place to belong
I've been lost for far too long
Stars in my eyes
Scars on my skin
Suffer begin
Heaven let me in

God forgive me
Hands from the sky rip me open
God have mercy
Suffer begin

Voice in the sky
God forgive me
Stars in the sky
God forgive me

Calling my name
For the times when I was wrong
Guide my way home
Hands from the sky rip me open

Choices I've made
God have mercy
A place I belong
God have mercy

Prices I've paid
For the times I have sinned
I've been lost for far too long
Suffer begin

Hands from the sky
Stars in my eyes
Rip me open
Scars on my skin
Suffer begin
Suffer begin
Unfriendly end
Heaven let me in

Am I a part of the earth
Or the sky?
A part of me
Apart from me

Suffer no more

Is it the dust of remnant smiles
In nuclear radiation
After the fallout?
Or is it merely hunger pangs
Pain within the glory
Of a rising morning sun?

Suffer no more

Am I the question
Or the answer?
a part of me
Apart from me