I have no condolences
For those who choose such path
Because I've felt all the pain
I've dealt with the doubt
             I am dealing with it now
And the name
That keeps popping up
Is my enemy
Hurting you and hurting me

I have no sympathy
For one who chooses to end their life
Because I'm as low as it get
Scraping the bottom of nothingness
            Nothing is all I have
Still the thing
To keep me going
Is the belief
Tomorrow brings a brighter day

This is when it gets scary
My darker thoughts
I know what I want to be
Joy and peace
And peace and love
And love
And love
Love

But the world fights against me
My minds starts to slipping
Into a realm
Of fire and pain
And pain and loss
And loss
Of light
And hope

My dark thoughts
That I'm afraid to even admit to myself
For fear that admittance
Is acceptance

And I couldn't **** myself
But there is always suicide by cop

I fell in love with she S
                                           U
   And the                              N
                              ­             O
                                     O
                               M
Never enough to have
Never enough to hold

I fell in love with the sun and the moon

Today
The clouds were in the way
They covered up the sun I used to have
Tonight
The stars are shining bright
But not in sight the moon I used to hold

Right now
Its only gray skies
And scars
The woman in red
The woman in the black dress
And me all alone

I fell in love with she S
                                           U
   And the                              N
                              ­             O
                                     O
                               M
I never thought it could be
I would have neither one

I want the flower to bloom
Because life would not exist without its beauty
Light is only shining
So God can see her smile

Sun hands
Reaching through darkness
Only to touch every inch of you

The sun may rise tomorrow-

I want to see the color
Because it can't always be gray
The blue of her eyes
The fiery red passion

Sun hands
reaching through darkness
Only to place warmth on your skin

*The sun may rise tomorrow

It was only my memory as the open sky
Birds may land but leave subtle trace
Etched in the confines of my mind
In and out and over again
From when my eyes transformed to mercury
And my thoughts streaming ghost of white
Inpalbable as the wind we know is frozen
Walls and roads and all machinations of the hand
No man could draw a portrait of her
No math would that explain
Only coastlines of an empty land
And a sunrise

I would never
Say directly
A word
B word
F word
I just go off into the sunset
I know the sunset
Know it well
Know it isn't well
Know
The sun will set
And there is nothing we can do to stop it
F word

The sun is feeling lonely im sure
But im stuck on the dark side of the world

I've not much to say
I'm too busy trying to make it another day
Well, at least I know how to say survival
In a poetic way

She
Told
Me
She
Loves
The
Smell
Of
My
Sweat

She
Loves
Everything
About
Me

I wish I could say the same for her

It was always
And it was never
It was forever
It was forever

Sweet baby Jane
Sweet angel with no halo
I find myself lost
Without you
And its always better this way
Its never what we choose
I'll forever be true
I'll forever love you

But these wolves in the night
Hammerhead sharks
Vampires
And empty streets

It was always
And it was never
It was forever
Forever love

Sweet baby Jane
If you go away
I'll be lost in the woods
Without a light
And the wolves closing in
And me not knowing
If I should give up
Or if I should fight

But these shadows in the dark
These haunting demons
Poltergeist
And restless oceans

It was always

Sometimes I prefer to be alone
Just me and my sweetest fruit
I was alone while she grew

Truly alone

She came to me
Her home was not the orchard
She came from trees
And limbs and twigs
Her home was not the orchard
She came to me

Sometimes she prefers to be alone
Just her in my hungry hands
She was alone on the branch

Truly alone

I was the strongest swimmer
And I keep swimming
With my fingers
I am a wizard
Shooting spells and encantations
I swim up the river
While most drown in the mainstream
The shallow
I am a shark
And I eat guppies without a thought
I swim in outersapce
I paddle out on my board
And find a sound wave
I ride it into you heart
And you are for ever changed
I was the strongest swimmer
So its my own choice to drown

The stars not in my sight
                Concrete
Doors are swung wide open but we may never swim
Hotel rooms
Never finding home
A tired job
And useless profession

The tides and misery currents
                 Concrete
The river of awareness that we may never seek
An ocean
That we may never swim
A diving board
And chlorenated water

Does it take a genius
To recognize genius?
It doesn't take a fool
To know one when he sees one
And all the losers at school
Know who is cool
And the wise man knows
None of this matters

Standing in a pool of water
Dying of thirst
With the limb of a fruit bearing tree above my head
Dying of hunger
I am Tantalus
My suffering
An intricate plan
Designed by none others than the gods themselves

I reach up for the fruit
And my arms aren't long enough
I drop down to quench my thirst
And the water recedes
I am tantalus
My suffering
Is seeing what I need when it's always out of reach

I would get a tattoo
But then I think
And it helps me realize
When I walk into a room
Everyone knows it
And I don't need anything but who I am

Plus
My skin is pretty perfect
The way it is already

We were all nameless when we came here
You tattooed your skin with your fear of death
Its only emptiness feeling holes
And inability to feel whole
Inadequacies

I jump at opportunity
See a void and be swallowed
I'm all that I am
Become a vacume
And a happy martyr
I only want what's best for you
And worse for me

You tattooed your skin with your inferiority
And feel ashamed
As the science and psychology prove your weakness
Is my strength
All that I am
Is good enough
For death.....

You weren't good enough for life
Not without the hand of man
To change the writing
From the hand of god

The tattoo
On my heart
Is really a scar
That you gave me
And if you look really closely
you can see its still not healed
The tattoo
In my mind
Is really a thought
That you gave me
Its constant painful memory
Its doubt I carry moving forward
The scars on my heart
And my soul
Are not art
They are story
About you
And the pain you put me through

**** you Taylor Swift
Why do you want to **** endangered birds?!!!!!

Do you think they sing better than you?

Well shake it off
*****

The teardrops of stars
A woman with a body
And a name
Celeste
How I look up in the night
And see her eyes
I see her skin as the sky
A cosmic answer
A soft place to land
From my recent fall
The tears that formed
Flow like glaciers
Ruining her make-up
Mascara on her cheeks
And her heart
Branded
How I reach out through these voids
These pits of despair
These ****** of pain
And touch love
These crystalline tears
Shine on my hair
And drown my hands
In her forever
I never saw the sun
But I swear
By god
I have felt it
Fall on me
As love from the ether
As teardrops
From stars

I want my tears to evaporate
May they become the clouds
I want for them to rain on you

I haven't cried in years
My cheekbones are aching
Trying to fight back tears
My eyes are stinging
I hate to cry
It's painful
I cry because you cry

I've dealt with pain my whole life
I've grown accustomed to it
I'm beginning to think maybe
It is meant to always be a part of me
Even if you become
Yet another source of pain
I deal with
It's who I am.
And it's what I must do
You know I'll always love you

Still it's strange
I had a sinking feeling
I knew something that I couldn't know
And I really don't know what to say

Whatever makes you happy
Whatever helps you sleep in peace
Whatever disassembles your nightmares
And  using the parts they are made from
Creates dreams
It's always in your head
And in your heart

My sweet angel
I wish I was holding you now
I wish that I was happy
You know I'll always love you

Please don't cry

As technology becomes more pervasive
It becomes more invasive
There is no more living simply
Its either accept
Or be forgotten

No quiero decir
Pero las flamas
Las alas
Quemando
Volando
Mi alma
Mis planetas in revolucione sobre el sol
No quiero decir
Pero
Te digo
Es necesidad
Tu eres la tierra
Me veyes en ciello
Tu eres la playa
Yo soy el mar
Hemos sido creados el uno al otro
Su vida es suficiente para hacer que te cuente
Te digo

Homelely lonely snaggle-tooth smile
Tongues urging words forward
Surging as an ardent sword
Swimming in saliva
Ivory incisor
Cruel cuspid
Fangs
And sharpened islands
Teeth

Decalcified
Recalcitrant

There's an empty feeling in a mouth

Provender as a need

Viscious victuals

Forget the taste
Remember appetite
Just when you feed
Don't eat but devour
Mulling molars
Curious carnassials
Fangs
Longing for the flavor of flesh
Teeth

Putrescent
Holy cavity

There is an empty feeling in a mouth

Eat all you can

While you can

Take full bites
And swallow whole

There are only two options
Give up or keep fighting
The voice always told me
And I always knew
I can't give up

But in the darkest night of the souls
With obstruction insurmountable
The voice stopped speaking
There's no winning this war
I can't keep fighting

I call on you
Tell me what to do

n  
                  o
                              i
         ­         p                              t
c                      ­           e
                  D                             e

Tell me
                                                         When
You see
It

That if the doors of
Perception are cleansed            Everything
{What it really is}
Would appear as it
Really                                             Is
                                    Is
                       ­ Is                              INFINITE
           Is
Is
Tell me you see it
Existence


But
      We
           Live
                   In
                       World
                                  Of
                      ­                Lies
And we believe
In their
D
E
C
E
P
T
I
O
N

Tell me you see it

And I know
The constant come and go
The warmth becoming cold
Becoming heat again

I know
Sometimes what's near is close
Sometimes is distant
And I can't reach

Well I know
That this is not for me
My mind it does agree
But tell that to my heart

There is life behind her eyes
Her words are soft hands that I can feel
She is leaves in the wind
She is the lovely end

This wild young distance
This flame colored passion
This swaying of branches
This breaking of worlds

There is love within her skin
Her songs are fragile whispers I can hear
She is swaying limbs
She is the dancing stars

This spoken music
This screaming depth
This vulnerability
This tender dying

My hope
Is a stained glass window
Shattered
And on the floor
A thousand sharpened pieces
I can't pick up
For fear of bleeding
My bitter hands

I stare at the sky
With my black eyes
I see buzzards and crows
A storm that only rages

My hope
Is a dream I have
While I sleep
On beds of razor wire
A thousand sharpened knives
Jaws of hell
Closing in on my
Unforgiven heart

I open the door
With my broken hand
My busted knuckles
My emptiness

I turn the lights down low

A machine that used the natural magnetic field of the earth
To create unlimited energy

Well Rockefeller said
"My peasants shall have nothing for free"

The headlines are always bad news
Screams pull the night apart
Low tearing an old would open
To never heal
He said he loved her
I can't blame it on the the Tetons

What once was beauty
Colors change then fade to black
art becoming nothing
I don't even know how to story goes
Lions and lambs
But this autumn growing colder

The Frontlines inside my head are raging
Dreams fail down around me
Sorrowful September
With leaves falling
I never knew her favorite band
I can't blame it on the Tetons

It must have been Hell
Those eyes so cold
Those eyes which once were loving
And even the angels cried
He said he loved her
I never knew her favorite band
Rest in peace Gabby Petito

The angels cry
I feel it on my skin
It falls as rain
I know just what it means
Wickedness and sin
Desolate pain
From the times when I've been wrong
All the things I've done

The angels cry
In morbid fascination
Feathers and freefalling
I know the reason why
When the sky breaks
So do I
And so do they

The angels cry
From whence they used to pity
Now they only grieve
They saw the birth of fires
The watched them as they grew
And swallowed us all
From the times when we were broken
And the truth of being hopeless

The angels cry
Only hoping their teardrops from the heavens
Will drown us in their mercy

Outside of myself
But in my own mind
I can reach other galaxies
Cosmic libraries
Card cataloged

And its a color
That doesn't exist
Unless we want it to

Its a book
Without words
Containing all the answers
You'll only find
If you look for

It's a drug of our own design
To captivate the mind
And enhance the spirit

Meditate on the thought
Because the answer is there somewhere

Winter falls into a life like so many leaves on the ground
Golden and amber, orange and red
The color of a blooming sun
Will signify death
Now is the season
To think I once held such spring in my soul
Growing and living, loving arms giving
The spring in my soul
Would meet the wind
Now is the season
And only a month can be a cause
The names of lost leaders
Like the days becoming shorter
And less is the light
Now is the season
And i wouldnt dare to dream your name
Haunting and tragic, somber, beautiful
The hope of a morning
Torn to pieces by darkest of night
You are the reason

There is an energy
A star exploding
Becoming what we are made from
As the words and the Greek gods
The elements of our love
I feel the spirits
Cycles of the time
Because mercury is in my blood
And I send message for you
Run from marathon

And whatever we believe
Is what well be
The best is in your dream
The best in me

Yes there is rain
And there is sunshine
A rose has to come from somewhere
A red rose with roots in my hands and your heart
The understanding nurture of nature
I hear the angels
And they sing
The most glorious song ever heard
And it's harmony soothes my worried mind
I want to show you

That what we believe
What we make be
The best is all we want
It's all we feel

Sometimes the best thing
Is accepting the worst thing

Not fighting it

Simple will do

I swear these birds do not fly on wing
The sky is heavy
Undiluted gravity
Unbecoming gravitas
A party in the sky
Persona non grata
And what becomes?
Theatre where the stars won't act
The comedy of tragedy
Lives uncompelling melodrama
A panorama
Forgetting the hope
Of kaleidoscopes
I know these birds will not sing
Spring has come and gone
Now the underbelly dreamers
Are left to whither with fault
Sweltering festering heat
Summer suns to burn our skin
And leave us only wishing that we could be cold again
That the leaves should shrink and fade
And all the trees are dead
These songbirds of a winter ending
I held such hope aloft
And saw a symbol in their flight
I saw love inside a light
A beauteous sight
But even glorious wings
Fade from my eyes
In solemn nights

I don't merely think outside the box
I live outside the box
And stand above to reach inside
With a helping hand
Anyone who wants to escape it

Its more than the box anyways

I had a dream about the *** pistols
Which was pretty odd
Because they were playing songs by the Dead Kennedys
I said this be ******,
I would rather jam to the clash
Joe Strummer was pretty cool

I've seen you
Your just like the man who says to his fire
       'Why in the world
        Should I gather wood for you
        When your not even burning yet'

The crow on the telephone wire
He doesn't sing
He just calls out warnings
Because he knows death is coming

The crow on the statue
Was singing
Songs about death
Something we don't understand

Songs about life
And how we live it wrong

The king
Sits alone
In his castle
Singing songs
For no one
Waiting on his queen
To come home
And be
With him

His armies march
They fight wars
In her honor
Swords unsheathed
In strange lands
Just to bring her home again

The king
Doesn't cry
But if he ever did
It would be for her
For her loneliness
And for his
Singing songs for no one
And still hoping
She can hear

She should know
How much
She is loved

b                                       t
                m                            S
        R                          i
                  t       ­                      {¥€§}
      e
h                                 o
                                         r       {Nō}

eager
         NOW
To Unlock
                    CURE; music
                         matter
AND        salvation        DNA
                          ­          R
imprudent hands may  O
Touch                        UGH
You
But
N
    E
       V
          E
             R
fill
feel---------> You
phil
They are
           Y
       L     N
           O
DoctoRx
With no
*patience

Its not that I don't have light
Lamps and candles and lanterns and flashlights
And suns that only ever set
Its not that I don't have light
Its just sometimes I feel much better
In the darkness

So let night be my home
Let these creatures roam
Caught in a gloaming
Red eyed mouth foaming
Because all I know
With someone I'm all alone

Lamps need outlets
Candles drip their wax and lose their flame
Lanterns without oil can't create shadows
Flashlight with dying batteries
And the sun

The sun is going to set

Since....I was the wind
              You could never hold me
               I could be felt
                          For a little while
How.....I became fire
               You were feeling warmth
                A broiling inferno
                           Leaving only ash
Now....I am water
             You were trying swim
              Dying to drown
                            A flood of loss
Soon...I'll be earth
              Sand and stone of fate
               The earth we live on
                             As our tomb

I adore the very ends of the earth
I walk towards them with every step
My morning searching for the best way to fall
A line I always knew as irreversible
Irrevocable
Silence
Silence that screams to my closed eyes
My naked skin
The scars on my face and my hands
The stars I imagine
The way that I love
Im only a part of this world
That you walk
And breathe in
I deny the night
As its wings are shadows
And they fly
Sent from some oblivion
To deliver me
Silence
Silence that grows in your hair
And whispers
There is a line I have crossed
And there is no return
It boils in my fingers
And becomes everything I touch
This hope of you
And how loving
Has shown me death
I never had to feel
Until I felt everything you are
The ends of sand and time
The ends of the the worlds I hold

Internal rhymes
Alliteration
Meter
Metaphor

Its meaningless
Without the feeling behind it

And I give these things to you
All of my heart
All of my thoughts in structured verse
To symbolize

The meaning
Of the feeling behind it