Indecisive* excusing behaviors and believing  against hope

prayers or wishes

Didn't know
couldn't fathom

I'd be rejected then imprisoned

Cofused misleading

implications await this bitter bed

Black roses & blistering thorns

crowned the conquered queen

*Mangled chains tearing chaffing  swollen  wrists

Ankles held fast on this tainted flea infested bed  

An ***** haze clouds all around  no sounds forth coming  

drugged induced
intoxicating lazy lulled senses

Heart's slowing down
No one can help
caught trap and stuck

"Love's" captured me again
but little does he know

I'll  be dead before
       the sun's first glow**
     Copyright ©
Ayeshah K.C.L.N
1977-Present  
All right reserved

I lay my head down on my pillow
          it is soft and down, a sheeps underbelly
I can't help but to whisper to the stars
          "how is the weather up there? come down here."
There's a breeze knocking on my window
          it wants to lie by my side and share warmth
A bit of snow catches in the drifts on the sills
          i can become a snowflake whenever i'd like
They tell me that the world isn't good anymore
          they tell me that i can't play god like I used to
I look up at the ceiling
          *and i let go....

Let us send mosquitoes into exile,
To the obliterating cold of Antarctica,
     In hope that the stars will take refuge
In this corrupted Archipelago, till then
We shall tire this full moon, lay our lovers down,
And burn the shadows
     As a campfire of our love.*

© 2015 J.S.P.

I tell you it’s dark inside 

You say turn on a light

I say it hurts my eyes

I’ve gotten use to the dark 

I can feel my way to my heart 

And lay down on its surface

I can tiptoe my way

Around hopelessness 

Slip on a few things 

But not fall

But you’re still new to it 

You still trip on my

Newly discovered fears

Still drown in my overwhelming 

Sea of sadness 

You've gotten bruises

From slipping on my silence 

You have fallen on my weariness

And I’m sorry 
I never meant for it 

To swallow you too 

Loving you makes a difference 

But you can't fix a ****
With nothing but a twig 

You can take a horse to a spring 

But you can't make it drink 

You can love me all you want 

But I have to learn 

To love myself 

Enough to turn on the light 

I will try to ease my eyes
to the light 
But fire eventually burns out
Even candles know that

I’m sorry I’m not okay 

I wish I was

If only it were 

To be well enough 

To look into your eyes 

And not feel like I’m drowning

To be able to feel 

The trace of your hands on mine

And not wish you didn’t have to

Feel the scars 

I’m sorry I’m not okay 

I really wish I was 

If only to be able to tell you
How much I love you 

Enough to not die for you

Enough to live with you

You're a prisoner of your own design; that curse that is your mind.

Color floods to the spot, dull purple.
The rest of the body is all washed-out,
The color of pearl.

In a pit of a rock
The sea ***** obsessively,
One hollow thw whole sea's pivot.

The size of a fly,
The doom mark
Crawls down the wall.

The heart shuts,
The sea slides back,
The mirrors are sheeted.

Better that every fiber crack
and fury make head,
blood drenching vivid
couch, carpet, floor
and the snake-figured almanac
vouching you are
a million green counties from here,

than to sit mute, twitching so
under prickling stars,
with stare, with curse
blackening the time
goodbyes were said, trains let go,
and I, great magnanimous fool, thus wrenched from
my one kingdom.