i'm tired of
sounding like a
cliché
but probably even more
tired
of the fact that it's normal
to feel
what i feel
and to experience
what i have experienced

oh my
all you dumb ******* boys
who see me
and think
'hm alright'
and meet me
and think
'she's funny'
maybe also cool and kind
but you guys
you're so ******* dumb
because you haven't really seen me
and you give me hope for
that someone would actually love me
but i know that it's a ******* lie
i hate you for giving me hope

silence that is loud
drowns out everything else
that is present

I'm sick
I'm tried
I'm depressed
I keep listening to sad songs
While wearing a black dress.
People keep dying
But not in real life
They keep dying in my heart
Because they cannot fight.
They try their hardest to get up and go
But that's not so easy
In the cold cold snow.
So now they're sick
So now they're ill
So now everyday
they have to take different pills.
They have to suffer while living
While living in pain
Which hurts them
Especially in the brain
It's not easy to suffer
Mentally
Emotionaly
Or physically.
Because everyone
Has their own problems
You see ?

i know that they're
"small things",
but
you don't know
my world's
aspect ratio

Will I ever fall in love
and be truly happy,
or will I just fall
and be truly lonely.

Everything is grey.
My mood,
my feelings,
my world.
A greyzone,
so I make my lungs pitch black
hoping for
another colour