Tacking

Keel laid long ago, deck
where we stand at night
naming stars, worn salt
smooth and clocked
by the shadow of the mast
our ship trailing
veils of memory, smartly
parting swell, tacking
true from high up in the rigging
where I mend sails
with the thread of a tune
while you pitch
seams, humming
something old and familiar.

Headbutt a field of daffodils.
Uppercut a pair of shears.
Fall asleep on railroad tracks.
Throw a wrench into your gears.

Kick a chainsaw in the teeth.
Do a backflip into quicksand.
Take a bath in sleet.
Eat your own hand.

Sleep in a bed of cement.
Bash your head on concrete.
Throw yourself into a volcano.
Cook your own meat.

Swim in a tsunami.
Surf a typhoon.
Drown yourself in madness,
but please just do it soon.

I've been standing at the edge of the ocean for a long time -
watching the crystalline waves when they come close and yearn to touch my skin.

Just like how I want to touch yours.

There's been a thousand sunrises and a thousand sunsets -
after a lifetime or two, they don't really matter anymore.

I remember the way you looked when you left -
although your back was turned towards me,
I felt each tear when it bled across your face.

When you looked into the horizon and silently begged
for the courage to go, I felt it through each chamber of my heart.

Seeing is believing, they say.
I don't really believe you wanted to go.

And he is sunshine.
He warms me from the inside out,
like drinking wine straight from the bottle.
He smiles and a dove coos,
He laughs and I cry.
He whispers his dreams to the stars and they play it back to me like a record on repeat,
But at night the needle scratches and all I can hear are my own whispers of I love you,
I love you,
I love him.

She drifted through the night,
Feeling nothing and everything all at once.
The music beat deep in her core
Pulsing harder than her own soul.
Her skin was caressed,
Touched,
Tasted,
But she could only float.
She admired the strangeness of it all,
Arms stretched to the sky.
Her body twisted and shimmered
As she gave her all to the thought of flight.