It took me seven years
to realise
the words in my mind
were too deep for
my mouth to dig up
I thought it was easier
to open my skin
and let the truth
pour down my arms

It took me seven years
to realise
nobody should be allowed
to touch parts
of your home
or hold pieces  
of your heart
that you don't yet understand

It took me seven years
to realise
I will wear these scars
forever
I'll carry them
through every smile
every kiss
every concerned gaze
I'll carry them
to my grave

It took me seven years
to realise
the pain carved
into the walls
of my castle
etchings of
attempting to disappear
are not a story of weakness
but a tale of
how I survived

you told me you were tired of living

i couldn't help but picture you
sitting on the edge of your bed
glaring at the bottom of a trash can
wishing you could throw up your last breath
rather than feel the nausea of a steady beating heart

i pictured you
hugging your knees on the bathroom floor
hands grabbing your mouth and chest
begging for both to stop moving
as tears leak out of red eyes in steady streams

i pictured you
wide awake as the hours steadily march towards sunrise
unable to move because the world kept you pinned to the floor
and you watch the clock tick and tick
feeling as though every minute was just another wasted

i pictured you
hurting in a way you couldn't bear
and i want to grab you and hold you
until the very sadness that makes you feel this way
seeps into my skin just so you can breathe

i can't help but picture you this way
because it is the way i was when i told you those very words
that i was tired of living
so i will do anything to make sure you never feel that way
and i will do anything to protect you from hurting

s.s

i want you
in every way there is to want a person

from lazy rainy days
sitting around in underwear
wrapped up in the covers
enveloped in each other

to lustful late nights
high happy and in love
too absorbed with each other
to focus on anything else

i want you
and i see so much in you
that counting all your perfections
would be like counting the stars
there's too many to keep track of
and they just seem endless

i am utterly in love
with every inch of your being
every corner of your mind
and everything in between

i might not know what i believe
or where i'm going
or what i'm doing
but i do hope
you'll hold my hand
and wander blindly with me
because as long as i'm with you
i don't need a destination
you are the journey

i am simply enamored with your entity
captivated by your character
fascinated
infatuated
amorous
in love

people change everyday
so i vow to fall in love with you
every time the sun rises

s.s