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Day 1: I want to tear my skin off. My heart is beating so fast i can barley breathe. I feel so filthy.
Day 2: I can't believe this. I don't want to be here. Why did this happen? Why did I let this happen?
Day 5: I guess I drank too much and my friends were to drunk to stop me.
Day 10: I can't face my friends, I can't live my life.
Week 3: No one knows. He hasn't said a word.
Week 6: It happened again, I was sleeping and he did it again. Why did I stay the night? Why didn't I go straight home?
Week 7: He left and kissed me goodbye. I don't know how to feel.
Week 10: My life's out of control, I can't believe whats happening.
Month 5: My boyfriend knows. But not all details. Just thinking about it, makes me want to take a shower.
Month 8: I finally came clean to my friends. They're appalled. They hate him now. I still feel filthy. I can't get his smell off my body still.
Month 11: The anniversary is soon. What am I going to do?
Year 1: I haven't spoken to him in months. I haven't thought about it in days. I still feel as if hes on top of me, why can't I wash him away?

Its an uphill battle with myself and others. Some days I can't get out of bed or even feel like breathing.
But I try not to let him get to me. Because if he sees my weakness from what hes done,
He's won.
Did you really mean it?
When you said we'd never speak again?
I don't know if I want
To hear your side
But I definitely want
To hear your voice
This probably comes off the wrong way but whatever
 Dec 2015 Mariana Nolasco
Lottie
.
 Dec 2015 Mariana Nolasco
Lottie
.
It feels like I'm finally learning how to breathe without you.
 Dec 2015 Mariana Nolasco
Lottie
Happy Christmas, broken people,
I hope the world feels better
When the snow has fallen
And the birds stop singing
Because the world just gets
So *quiet.
 Dec 2015 Mariana Nolasco
Ayeshah
I have this
feeling

I'll not try
to explain it

Deep inside
me*

It's telling
me
not to

*trust
you


I admit it

I've been
hurt a great deal


but seems here

You're
playing a game
only you can

win

You hold all
the major cards


SO
of course
You'll win


Only one's
that'll work


In this game is
the pair of


Jokers

Which doesn't say a lot
then again it says;


I'm the Fool

Not once
but
twice over


I've been a joke before
unbeknownst
to myself


The other players knew
&

They've cease to inform me

SO I've had no choice
to be lead on these string's
forever

&
Danced
to a foreign tune


This time
I'm a Joker
&

long as you're amused

Guess I'll play my part.

Act II Scene VII

© 2015-2077 by Ayeshah K.C.L.N.
All rights reserved.
No part of this may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means,without prior written permission of Ayeshah K.C.L.N.
All the world's a stage, And all the men and women merely players; They have their exits and their entrances, And one man in his time plays many parts, His acts being seven ages. At first, the infant, Mewling and puking in the nurse's arms.
As You Like It,
Act II, Scene VII
William Shakespeare
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