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8.5k · Jul 2018
the game
thejohnags Jul 2018
you're lost in the wild
you don't know where you are,
you don't know what to do,
so you're dying in the dark.

you're looking for a trace
you're looking for a place,
but all you get is this maze
you should've seen your face
you got burned, got cornered
no turns, just liars.

and when you try to seek out the exit,
you find the monsters in your closet
smiling, waiting, hungry to dive in
you can run, but you can't hide
you can try, but you'll be found

so you're lonely in the streets,
you've been sleeping there, no sheets
you're looking for a mirror, looking for a lover,
looking for a mother, looking for a savior,
but you're alone, child.
but are you lone, child?
are you gonna cry now? be brave child.

the time is ticking
this game you're playing,
it's never ending,
but try to win it.

you say you're fine,
but you hope with fright.
you curse your life,
cuz it's killing you with pride.

the door is open,
but the sign says closed
your heart is breaking,
but you got no one to hold.

so you hold onto your dreams:
bright, and thriving lights, NYC
but is it worth it? can you chase it?
can you catch it? or miss all of it?

you sit in the corner of the bed
you're thinking about life, you're thinking about death
you're thinking about your friends, you're thinking about your family
when you thought of yourself, you thought of yourself lastly.

you sit and think about living
what to do to learn? what to do to earn?
how to keep up the pace?
how to dance in the rain?
and why are you lonely in this sick, crazy game?

so you wake up in the streets
the air is warm, so you smile, and you breathe
looking for dime, looking for a rhyme,
looking for more time, looking for your prime

looking for a flower,
looking for a paper,
cuz that is what you're best at:
painting words then you're a goner.
4.1k · Jul 2018
hurt somebody
thejohnags Jul 2018
never been so unsure,
all i need is a little more time.
no, i'm not walking out that door.
no, i don't know.

i'm a sinner with no trace,
when did the rush fade away?
when did i think you were a mistake?
no, i'm your mistake.

i'm yet to see your eyes,
will its spark outshine my pride?
you're yet to prove your lies,
wait, no, i'm the lie.

my mind keeps on changing
i've some trouble breathing
it's not a beautiful feeling,
when you're guilt keeps on knocking.

what do i do with you?
what do i do with me?
i have never intended to hurt somebody.

i am a gun, i don't run out of ammo.
you're a good target, i just can't let you go.
what i'm about to do, i'm afraid it would hurt you.
so before i shoot, just hide.

don't take a breath.
don't fight.

please know i'm thinking of your heart,
but i gotta think of mine too.
3.4k · Aug 2018
king of this town
thejohnags Aug 2018
you're no trouble, no goner,
you're just playing the wrong beat.
you're no elephant in the room,
you're just dancing the wrong move.  

they got your photo for display
they must've mistaken your face.
if you think you're dead today,
it's just the start of the race.  

so get up, get up, get up
no broken bones must stop you now.
heads up, heads up, heads up
it's time to press play again.  

go and wear your crown,
go and see the crowd,
let them know that you're around,
make them kneel to the ground,
you're the king of this town.

do they know the pearly whites hide underneath the yellow stains?
do they know that every villain is the star of his own **** play? 
do they even realize you fought your battles for them?
even realize they just sit when you stand up for them?
but they get the glory,
not even feeling sorry.  

it's funny how your story is getting out of control.
you think that you are winning, but then you lost your throne.
you congratulate them on your big, fake smile,
and then you comfort yourself when you sleep at night.

'*** for a second you thought you have everything:
got a pocket full of money, got the man of your dreams,
got a blanket for a cold, hard night, got the stars,
got the job that you want, got a seat in the park  

but then everything's gone when you wake up the next day
you're looking for a bed, but you have slept on the floor, hey,  
where are your clothes? why does your face wear blue?
there ain't no writings on the wall, but if there's one, it came true.  

there's a special place for the non-believers
i didn't say in hell, but you get the picture.
how are you gonna pull yourself together when the world pushes you down all the time?
502 · Aug 2018
a boy like me
thejohnags Aug 2018
a scary feeling i feel when you're sleeping
my heart tightened as a scene formed in my head:
you, with a bag, walking out that door.
you tell me you do not want me anymore.

i've loved, fought, then lost, left alone
i begged, and i begged, but they just went home.
rather crash at a wall, rather die in a war,
than stay and be sorry for a creep creeping their arms.

and if like them, you walk away,
i'd scream your name 'til i go insane
'til the tears stream down my eyes,
'til the tears occupy my face
i don't think they'd ever run dry,
from the day that you say good-bye.

so my one request, whisper in my ears,
remind me you're okay with a boy like this,
a boy this weak,
a boy like me.

give me peace,
write me a letter,
kiss me on the lips
or push me on the bed,
tell me i'm the one you're after
have your nails bite my neck,
as you make my eyes water.

the next day, you called me, i've never felt so happy
my heart loosened as i heard you saying
you'd illustrate my fears and draw them funny faces,
and that no amount of crazy thinking could ever make you leave
a boy like this,
a boy this weak,
a boy like me.

but it was all in my head.
488 · Nov 2018
why?
thejohnags Nov 2018
my mama told me:
"find a love that stays,"
i thought it's going to be difficult
but then, i met you.

it wasn't that difficult
to find a love that stays
i mean, my love for you did stay
—you just didn't.
313 · Nov 2018
one day
thejohnags Nov 2018
and then maybe one day, you'll confess
that you did like me back
but by then, you'll be with her—happy.
and i'll be with him—trying to be.

maybe one day you'll confess,
or maybe you won't.

so if you only have one lie left to tell,
please tell me you love me
even if you don't.
because even if it isn't true,
i'll never know.
263 · Jun 2019
dance again
thejohnags Jun 2019
verse:
look at them, they're looking at us
they must be thinking that we are in love
the way we sway, the way we touch
it's not a mistake, but you said, "enough."

so, i'm on my own beat, and you are on yours
figuring things, happy but forced
you phoned a ring, i answered, of course
you tell me one thing, i followed your voice

chorus:
you said "it's time for us to dance again tonight, do you mind?
don't want no other waist between my hands to hold tight.
lock your hips, turn around,
click your feet, back to my sound,
it's time for us to dance again tonight, is that alright?"

verse:
i'm trembling, as you took my hand
i looked at him, should give him a chance
but here i am standing with a pain in my feet,
and a beautiful devil in front of me.

i'm thinking about hitting and running
but looking at you, just changes my plans, so i took a breath,
i said "leave me alone"
the clock struck twelve, you said, "please don't go"

bridge:
the music doesn't fit us anymore
maybe it's time we take a bow right now on the dancefloor
you'll be dancing again, with a different friend and you wouldn't be alone
don't be afraid about learning new steps '*** that is the way love goes.
262 · Jun 2019
let me have my coffee first
thejohnags Jun 2019
verse:
let me have my coffee first before you say good bye
let me look up at the sky before you say it twice
let me fix my bed first before i fix my life
before i fix somebody else's

chorus:
maybe we should be
bigger than this
bigger than who we wanna be
better than who we could be

maybe we should be
just shadows in the night
some souls who lost their bright
when they wished upon those starry eyes

verse:
let me have my coffee first before i say good bye
let me look up at the sky so i can ask him why
let me fix my bed first, i don't have to save your life
'*** you're not saving mine
we're just shadows in the night
210 · Jun 2019
where do we go from here
thejohnags Jun 2019
verse:
we've been friends for over a year.
i've fallen in love with you.
where do we go from here?

you're the dream i'm after,
but you dream about her
and of another.
the list is never over.

pre:
for a lover, you walk a mile
but for a friend, you barely try
but when it comes to me,
you cross a sea.

though your feet are bare
and the waves are tall,
though it's the peak of heat,
and there are ships at war
you do everything.
i'm left assuming

chorus:
when i look into your eyes,
they speak and tell me i'm so fine,
but your mouth tells me otherwise
where do we go from here?

and when we walk by together
you think of living forever
with her, not me,
where do we go from here?

verse:
i've gone out, broke many hearts
of some people i don't know
just so that they let me go.

and you act so innocent
as if you're not reading this.
i'm not that good of a liar
left them, *** it's you i desire.

chorus:
when i look into your eyes,
they speak and tell me i'm so fine,
but your mouth tells me otherwise
where do we go from here?

and when we walk by together
you think of living forever
with her, not me,
where do we go from here?

bridge:
for a lover, i walk a mile
but for a friend, i barely try
but when it comes to you,
i make red hearts blue.

for a daydream, you're dark as night.
for a holy, i'm crucified.
there are street signs there,
but we're not getting somewhere.
205 · Jun 2020
the party is over
thejohnags Jun 2020
the lights are open but people are sleeping
the beer cans are left on the floor
no one's drinking them anymore

the music has faded, the whispering has turned into intergalactic dust
no one's listening anymore

the party is over
why are you still here?
is nobody waiting at home?
well, stay for a minute then don't extend
'cause i plan on sleeping alone

throw all the hats now
throw all the red cups
throw all the promises

throw all the bottles
throw all the battles
throw all the memories we made
'cause now the party's over
move on

the cops are out there but people are nowhere
except for us two sitting here
no one's looking out for us

all the board games we'd play, you're always winning
i never scored one point at darts
when i entered this city, i least expected i'd leave with a dumbfounded broken heart

the party is over
why are you still here?
is nobody waiting at home?
well, stay for a minute then don't extend
'cause i plan on sleeping alone

throw all the hats now
throw all the red cups
throw all the promises

throw all the bottles
throw all the battles
throw all the memories we plan to make
'cause now the party's over
move on
a sad song about a metaphorical party
thejohnags Jul 2019
it's paradise, every time i'm with you
you make me smile when i feel like crying too
i run around making everybody happy
but you're the one who ever truly really know me  

so you sing me a song til your throat has dried out
and you bring me to town so we can walk around
and i know i'll survive
*** you're by my side

you are the one for me to love
more than the nameless god above
i could go to hell by just saying that
but i don't care at a lot
just let me love you, love

every single time they lie, there's always a hidden clue
so tell me one or many, i'll help you figure out the truth
through the years, we're trying prevent our fall
well, let's fall down now
don't be scared
i'll be with you through it all

i'll sing you a song til my throat has dried out i'll bring you to town so we can scream aloud
yes, we'll be alright
we'll frighten those ghosts every night

you are the one for me to love
more than the nameless god above
i could go to hell by just saying that
but i don't care at a lot
just let me love you, love
196 · May 2019
1:42 AM
thejohnags May 2019
tell me honestly, what else she can offer aside from her pretty features...when things get ugly, at least she'll look good in pictures.
158 · Jun 2020
morning after
thejohnags Jun 2020
today was bright—the tomorrows and the afternoons too
but that's before you get up from this bed, decided enough, to put on your shoes
i'm supposed to make you tea, then make you laugh while i bake macaroni for you
perhaps the greater mornings ahead are just evenings in disguise where lights are off and
bugs are flying around the room

— The End —