The Masked Sleepyz: Favorites

my first crush committed suicide.
i remember the hurt at a young age
from chasing him around his living room
begging him for a kiss.
from my young age i knew i wanted him
in my life forever.
through his weaves and gagging
running around the furniture and up the stairs,
losing him sounded foreign then
and having lost him now, still feels the same.
our fathers drank and our mothers giggled
born three months apart
our future planned together
both saying "i do"
uniting us all together.
life flew on by
us both fighting with ourselves
and downing the bottles underneath the bed
loaded and silenced
family portraits painted in red
long life memories all put to rest.
only one made it out alive
but it's hard to breathe
out of us how was it me
and you in a little box
where a diamond ring should be.
my mind keeps wondering
when will i stop chasing you
then my heart replays
every time you turned a corner
you looked over your shoulder
and how you smiled at me.

i miss you

#suicide

Nov 2018 The Masked Sleepyz

The Psychotherapist Blues

Nov 2018 The Masked Sleepyz

Sjr1000

The Psychotherapist Blues

I've always been somewhat Autistic,
ADHD
too
More than a little manic
and
OCD
I've had the fever
Occupying me

I've heard the murderous rage
And it was me

I have had my periods of Schizophrenia
Paranoia
Psychic warfare
in the ether

He's looking at me
I keep looking at him
Wondering why he's looking at me

I've got that DID
Going into trances
The poet he writes these tomes,
Waking up in strange places

That PTSD
Get startled very easily

Anxiety and depression
Are you kidding?
What's a day without 'em?

The vice is nice
Abundance to depletion,
The parking lot walk
Polysubstance abuse
has had it's use

Fetishes phillias
Electric brain all light up
Run amok

Decades of misery
Decades of mastery
Had them all

A walking DSM
That would be me
Everything which is human inside you is inside me

Hanging out with
the human condition
my old friend and me

Trying one more time
to figure it all out,
one more time.

DSM: Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of mental disorders

Nov 2018 The Masked Sleepyz

In Between the Poetry

Nov 2018 The Masked Sleepyz

Sjr1000

In Between the Poetry

You're not alone when you are the poem
It's the silence after that's deafening

You're not alone when you are in the zone,
You're finally home
It's the silence after that's deafening

When the rhythms and rhymes flow
And time puts its head down and goes
It's the silence after that's deafening

When dancing in the night
Doing the tango with words
Dancing down old hallways
Listening for old echoes
Sometimes delight
Sometimes the ruins
You're never alone

It's in between the poetry,
that's when we can hear it
the solitary silence that's deafening.

Inspired by Traveler Tim, he's the arsonist, igniting poetry all around him.

Nov 2018 The Masked Sleepyz

Life as we know it

Nov 2018 The Masked Sleepyz

Sjr1000

Life as we know it

Life as we know it
Life as we grow it
Life as we flow it

It'll punch you in the face
Hold you in a warm embrace

It'll tell you what to do
It'll leave you hangin'n
A hound dog singing the blues
Howlin' at the moon

Life as we do it
Days as we do'em
Never really thinking about what we're doing

Just doing what we're knowing
until it goes.

Nov 2018 The Masked Sleepyz

Surrender (Internal Dialogue)

Nov 2018 The Masked Sleepyz

Sjr1000

Surrender (Internal Dialogue)

I don't want another Vietnam,
Iraq or Afghanistan

I don't want another wild fire
Flash flood
Or hurricane

I don't want another mass shooting
Famine
Drought
Or
Circumstances which are dire

I don't want to hear
All these cries
I don't want to hear
All these lies
I don't want to know
All these scams
No, I don't want to come over
And hold your hand
I don't want no stinking badge

I don't want a see a magic
Number
I don't want to wake,
come
Out of this slumber

I don't want to know
What I'm supposed to do
Supposed to see
Supposed to be

No, I don't want to
be your friend
I don't want to have to extend
No, I don't want to have this conversation

I just want silence
And the end.

Really
What then?

Blessings they come everyday
In everyway
There is beauty in the lullaby in the winds
The starlings, a river flowing
From this tree to another
The woods green in the fall sun

Which way is it going to be today?

It's going to be
What it's going to be

I don't know

I don't want to know
But it's all a blessing
So they say
Which is it going to be
Today?

Surely one more breath and to our present,
We'll keep on fighting
while we
Surrender.