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My couch,
Is death,
And avoidance is a second language,
Ask me do I speak it?
Conjoined twins,
Of misery and manipulation,
No calls,
Only cushions and customer's custom complaints,
From tomorrow,
The phone wont ring,
So I'll stay down this road,
Listening to headlines and headlights
Sing,
Moody music dwelling,
Where the lies and shame met in between,
Cut the cue, end the scene

The stage has been rebuilt,
We talked like teenagers,
And you told me that I've changed,
But the same,
Still that same number,
No more gap,
But your smile still kills,
Pain with palendromes,
We were here before,
And so again we,
Our fighting saying goodnight,
Street lamps in different cities,
Static.

I'm just fine,
Playing my part,
My mainstream maybe different,
But
Obsession has been overcame,
By the rising tide of a smile,
If the teleprompting signs shine through,
Meanwhiles and meditations
What can I do,
Except hope I'm reading,
The
Right
Script,

The couch,
It asks,
Where have you been?
I set down another,
chip.
Kind of scattered
3.6k · Aug 2018
Just For Today
The doctrine lines,
The white brick walls,
Coffee creeps,
We still drink,
Our tastes have just changed,
Who took the last of the ******* sugar?
It's been empty for weeks,
But mainstays stay, mainly,
Another 24 hours,
Some look less,
Another victim of violence visitation,
Rattling sign, the wind makes it's appearance,
We made it,
Johnboy the ****** tells aboot,
His momentum,
Taking his mom oot to dinner,
He wore his tattoos on his face,
One cheek said sin, the other, ner,
Shakey Sam comes every meow and then,
Saying nothing has changed again,
Lights are flickering,
While Jesus Jane is on another rant,
You know, aboot Jesus and whatnot,
Atheist Jocoby just groans,
The coffee is a bit burnt,
So is my tongue,
New cats, alley cats,
Dogs and birds,
I couldn't tell you which one I am,
Emergency alarms a buzzing all around,
We just turn down the sound,
As it's another go round,
to speak,
I'm James and I'm an alcoholic,
Hi James,
Turn over turn on,
Hold hands with scumbags turned saints,
All because of the fire we got from a drink,
A smoke,
A burnt down life turned to building,
We hug once again,
And step ootside,
Open door policy,
And fire in the sky is there waiting,
Some run,
Some cry,
Shakey Sam wonders aloud,
Will his dealer deliver,
****** Johnboy calls his mom,
Jesus Jane prays,
And Atheist Jocoby drives away,
I put the sign back on the door,
And make a new ***,
I want to hear that story,
Of how that newcomer once got shot,
By a disgruntled **** in San Francisco bay,
At least I don't need a drink today.
"It's end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine"
3.0k · Jul 2015
A Private Showing
The theater's empty and I can't seem to figure why,
The ground feels like a sticky, but hard lie,
It's plain with drapes to a darkened heaven,
With movie posters that make me nostalgic for when I was 7,
Or was it 11?
The projector starts to warm up,
And the ghosts in the machine show who they wanted to be,
This popcorn reminds me of a love that was wearing her favorite leather jacket,
*******, how did I get popcorn?
The screen shows ads for ****** ****,
But its in Spanish with Czech subtitles ,
And a weird sense of accomplishment,
Seems to give way with the images, now gone,
Apparently I have a soda that I have never noticed nor engaged or enraged,
Blue stills of ****** knees and beaches unbeknownst to any future,
With the credits rolling of names I'll remember, forget and lie remembering
A calming anxiety seems to fill in where the smoke creeping oot the vents does not,
The teleporting popcorn comes with me,
And choose to leave, with the seat,
I seem to forget to ask myself,
meow so clear,
How did I get here?
2.7k · Dec 2013
running.
I ask how she's been,
like a villain,
she says she can smile,
without me and for a while,
I'll believe,
but I'm running too,
to a place that is new,
where I can serenade girls that dont know what I say,
with poems of beauty and they will stay,
smiling and I'll kiss them,
she knows what I am saying,
but ignores the flaying,
of my muse and myself,
I guess it is for my own health,
I tell her that she is a badass,
along with all that I loved when a lass,
but she is my past,
and I am running to my future
She told me I irritated her and to delete her number...so I did and told her I am glad she is irritated because at least she is feeling something
I should have run to Japan, to be the writer that I can, to sing folk to girls who are smiling because they can, I should have road the rails, staring at the never ending cities with hearts ablaze, ducking down into a dreamland maze of alley ways, give my poems to hobos and gays, and find any naru to sing karaoke, go into dens and clubs that traded air for smoking, I'd be the talk of toast, and the **** of the island, or I'd get drunk with samurais on a foam pylon, I'd ask a geisha to dance, but get nervous and spill my drink all over my pants, I'd go with malcontents and roughdy otakus as we hit the arcades on speed, I'd stay at a hotel and get married married in the states, I'd fall in love with a girl for a weekend and shed tell me she hates fancy dinners but loves dates, I would end up sleeping in the hills, high and full of chills, I'll tell school children what the stars mean, even though they can't be seen, I'll write a poem about my sin, of wanting my right, my right of a writing man, in Japan.
The title is suppose to be about Naru, a fictional character(who has green eyes)  but represents that true love
Drunk on nostalgia,
and longing for the past,
looking at who is still my friend,
and the ones gone too fast,
I miss them all,
but I dont want any of them here,
but then again my courage out weighs my fear,
and I see it all so beautifully clear,
what I would do to hear that smile,
or see that laugh,
feel that giggle,
and dance during math,
to have stories of yet to comes,
and what dreams we have with the future suns,
friends of guys and girls,
sending my world into swirls,
and dancing with the flame,
the band maybe different, but the music is still the same,
we all just have a new name,
that is a representation of the yesterdays,
and I miss the the future and past figuring's of today's faze,
nostalgia is weighing the other half of my couch down,
as it is my friend, my smile and my frown,
I'd push them all away,
if I didnt know they were here to stay,
so I might as well enjoy the ride,
because life is just a rock skipping on a pond,
thrown by a bad hand,
I'll keep saying it along with you,
the next skip is new,
but its the skip behind that I'll think aboot in the next few
I had a collection of lines I have been wanting to use, and I was feeling nostalgic...might as well smash both together and make something worth while right?  I think I di, hopefully you did too
1.9k · Dec 2014
Confessions of a man whore
She had the eyes that burnt your core,
And she says with a face you never expected,
"You should never face the devil with clear eyes,
Right?"
Hopelessly romantic and awkward,
Endlessly addicted to chat rooms when bored,
While the stories would become true,
And I taking advantage,
Saying sweet nothings to people that never existed,
(except when real)
Just feeling only when only the greatest feeling,
You take what is your accepted ceiling,
Eventually you only crave the stories and not of the people,
And "fall in love with every girl that shows you the least bit of attention"
He smiles at heartbreak,
And fights finality with lies
But hates staying,
They can't face the devil with clear eyes.
Will reread when less tired, but besides that enjoy it dear reader!
It's a night in paradise,
while I contemplate sleep knowing it would be wise,
but like an alcoholic with nothing else on his mind,
every thought ends up being you I find,
a day would be suffice,
a night would be greater than nice,
I want to tell you I need you in the worst way,
and I do when you wake up everyday,
but the miles seem to get just that much longer with every moment,
and there maybe nothing I can do aboot it,
like the years that separate yet fit,
so I will sit in paradise and think of your little texan town,
and realize with a smile with shades of a frown,
that maybe a couch and a sleepy smile maybe tough,
to make me realize it will always be enough,
so smile.
yeah, I'm kinda still in that mood...sorry again for not keeping up with you dear readers...and I will! (even though I know I have failed at that before >.>)
1.7k · Mar 2014
You got to admit it 10w
You need to,
have the nightmare,
to,
appreciate the dream.
1.6k · Jan 2014
The Heartbreak Letters.
Dear last meaningful kiss,

It's hard to start this,
because long ago I was in such a bliss,
I dont know what to write,
but this cigarette in my sight,
is counting down the end of our night
The guitar is playing its final thoughts
and I reflect on the what to do and not's,
as I start to write the script again.
People stare at me as I write this aloud,
for I want everyone to know, I am not proud,
that this even exists,
but it does.

Your face is what haunts me the most.
When I stare at the coast,
fantasies of memories arise,
but vanish as I feel the falseness of lies,
creep upon me,
like a villain in a play,
but these thoughts I must put away.
They won't get me anywhere.

Except a lonely stare,
into peoples hearts that I seem to try and confide,
but in this rule book I'm writing I must abide,
and leave your side.

I dont think you get what this hurts like,
to ride a bike,
into nothingness of blank words,
that I reflect upon in past writing.
But back to the script I keep fighting,
there is no shading or lighting,
just another poem that I follow.



Dear the love that was never true,

I wonder if your writing too,
or if you even know you,
cause you like to dance around this heartbreak,
like an old soul tries to avoid youth, just for the sake,
sake of wondering what to do next.

As I write this script on my invisible paper,
I have to remember too add the hooded caper,
that's nestled in the shadows, that I frankly never see,
and add reluctantly.
I will look back and think that part wasnt necessary,
but my heart and eyes are wary,
of knowing when to put down my pen.

This will be a sad thing to write,
because night,
is sadly ending,
with the stars starting to fade,
I must abide,
with the fears that reside,
that I must tap onto this screen,
and make sure in this last hurrah, you dont seem mean.




Dear the one who use to be the spark in my nod,

I hear many applaud,
but I wont let myself smile, for this love story shouldn't have ended,
or maybe it hasnt just yet, and just has bended.
Mind is amended,
the wrong doings of past fames,
I can remember the actors I write, but not their names.
As I put my script into print,
and watch the masses on their screen,

"I must say I hate the ending myself,
but it started with an alright scene."


From the heartbroken kid,
with love.
So I wrote this when I was a wee teenager going through heartache...I always really liked tthe title and some of the lines *straightens tie* are most badass....If I ever do a compilation book, I'd split it up into sections, and my heartbreak/ache poems would be called...you guessed it, "the heartbreak letters"...I hope you enjoyed it :]
Your smile creeps off you know,
With no control,
Like you aren't wanting to go,
But there's something unknown,
And with alot of pull,
The voice dismayed with things that haven't happened,
And probably won't,
The slight underwhelming moan,
In a sea of sighs,
You can't try to control,
The glass is normally half full,
But like villains,
only known to the narrator,
Stalks in linens,
And they deploy the daggers,
That don't make any sense,
So you build the fence,
And hope to sleep,
Because when you're up again,
You'll smile at the pen,
know it doesn't make sense,
And that it will happen more,
Just do you're process and apologize,
Saying that there is no control
But realize,
It doesn't matter if it's normal,
It means it will change.
Kinda my way of describing how random depression can just come aboot for no reason...but I hope you enjoyed it dear reader!
1.6k · Aug 2014
Bla Bla Bla Bingo
My hands are shaking,
The smile is no longer faking,
Sweaty after a realization of my dark lungs,
No longer caving to drown the the butterfly chained to a ball and chain in my gut,
I put down the bottle and pick up my sneaks,
Perspiration leaks,
As I wheeze,
The butterfly is set free,
And I feel like for the first time i can taste the breeze,
Shakey knees,
And a new song to sing,
Grabbing the new beat,
So I take off my shoes,
Step inside the fresh door,
Starting again with a smirking core,
With my hands that won't stop shaking,
And a smile I'm no longer faking.
Putting down the bottle and putting on a new song and some basketball shorts

Not one of my best, but I had fun writing it >_>
1.6k · Sep 2018
Anaheim
Small talks,
Written in between railroad tracks,
A track going to nowhere,
At least it's beautiful,
The houses look cozy,
Behind their walls we wonder aloud,
If its football or just a get together,
Little lives playing,
Seemingly unimportant roles,
Living lives, on stairway steps,
No longer living lies,
Breathing,
Just breathe
Return to places you've never been,
And feel the love around,
At least it's hear now,
Long timers with only today,
Saying words that feel weighted,
Because they actually know,
Caravans catering to the perpetual,
One night stands,
Take the advice,
And keep the serenity,
You won't feel it till tomorrow,
As you smile at your
Forever frustrating manager,
Leave the destruction back where,
It belongs,
Take your seat,
remember to stay awake,
And hold onto the kisses in the car,
Tomorrow reality is waiting,
And you've only,
Just begun kiddo.
One for me (understandably unintelligible)
1.5k · Jan 2014
I miss it.
The innocence of a sunrise,
a dance in the middle of the street,
putting on pjs and getting some early morning fries,
a simple love, a love thats new,
watching the sunrise, and staring at the sky while swinging and tasting the blue,
hands getting sweaty,
and nights are too long,
there is no such thing as a sad song,
and if there is, its to remind you what you have left behind,
clouded mind,
full of future times
that always seem so golden
while the past seems to fade away,
a butterfly in the tummy,
its forcing its way through,
a simple love, a love that's new.

It's long past,
and the love wasnt the last,
it was cute and fun,
that made me like everything a little bit better and brighter, including the sun,
it was easy and made sense,
but now we just look over the fence,
at other loves that have made things work,
we may grab hands and say were certain,
but as we around us begins to fall the curtain,
separating our yards,
throwing into the air all 52 cards,
grabbing and screaming at the air,
I do not dare, try and break the steel curtain,
and through the holes I can see her smile,
who knew it would be here and gone so fast,
looking back on the past,
it was a love that couldnt last.

Now every time I see,
lovers saying "I'll never leave",
I get a butterfly forced in my tummy,
it pulls oot its money,
and buys a beer,
flapping around drunk and insecure,
making me stumble and run,
and listen as the song is sung,
making the new songs sound blue,
I miss that simple love,
a love that's new.
I wrote this a year ago...I think it ends a little wonky, but I also think its badass nonetheless...I want to be in love again, but I dont want to go through the whole beginning, I just want to grab a ******* the street and kiss her and ask her in French if we could fall in love, but that would be creepy...plus the beginning is usually the best part, right?...right? girls, they **** me.
Dear normalcy and all the freedoms it brings,

It's midnight in paradise,
And I leave tomorrow,
Just time to borrow,
The memories I have earned,
And live the experiences I've learned,
I sit on my balcony with the glimmer of Honolulu,
Shaking and shimmering,
As if to sing,
"We will meet again"
So time to hold on,
And time to let go,
In my heart I already know,
That I am making what will be kept as the good ol' days,
A chapter and not just a brief but brilliant faze,
I make my next turn in the all time greatest maze,
I'll sit here and play the "what's going on in that apartment" game and sleep,
Because it's midnight in paradise,
And I take off tomorrow.
Paradise Letters finale
Green goomba backpacks,
Extended busses,
The kids only ride one stop,
Folk music in my headphones,
Playing with the hopeful heat,
Of rainy day rides.
Where are we going?
On the one driving the bus knows,
And even they have their stop.
Societal soliloqal differences,
But here we are,
Cultural clashes melt away,
With,
"You can have my seat."
Falling into souls with just sideways glances,
Cases of, "what did you want to be when you grow up?"
****,
What did I want to be?
A longing nostalgia of places in memories that never existed,
Luckily,
The bus has no rearview mirrors.
Phoenix is grey,
So is Reno too,
Hawaii had it's days,
All have their riders,
And their drivers,
The stop is requested,
But I don't need to get off.
As he waited for the bus at the stop,
The light reflected raindrops,
And for a moment,
Even if he was late,
He was alright.
I waited,
at times I debated,
feeling like a teenager aboot to go on their first date,
I had work the next day but didn't care if I had to stay up late,
it was going to be the first time I saw you,
and nothing was going to stop me,
it was an electricity that I couldn't put down ,
and my breath was gone as if there any need for air,
I saw you
and I couldn't help but stare,
the night was slow but gone to fast,
like trying to remember a face from your past,
I need you is all I could muster to say,
and I won't call tomorrow a day,
how could I when I won't be able to see your smile
brighter than the sun,
so I will keep tonight inside my heart but never oot of sight,
I'll say that I still have walls, but that is a lie,
Like headlines written in the night sky,
of my life,
you have become permanent.
It kept posting withoot me wanting it to....its kinda cheesy but i needed to write something.
You asked me why we couldnt have met ten years sooner,
and asking if maybe you should go,
but I say no matter what I know,
I'll love someone I cant possibly be with,
you virtually hold me tight and tell me,
"it's alright"
I wont let go and I want you to know,
even if I am naive,
I dont want you to leave,
I want another text saying, "Its ok"
it will be ok even if we dont want it to be,
I danced with fire and I kissed the ice,
I'll say it thrice,
I love you,
I love you,
I love you,
but it wont change the miles,
and it wont change the mean whiles,
just dont let go and everything will be ok I swear,
because as a sweater I'll wear,
your messages and your love,
and be comfortable as the sunrise begins to show its face,
on doomsday
1.3k · Dec 2013
A typical poker night.
Lady Gaga's poker face is off,

While I hear Dr.Frankenstein maniacal cough,

Marlyn's eyes pacing and keeping with her anxieties,

with Bob Dylan telling her about his newest sobrieties,

Bunch a ******* cards says Loretta Lynn,

I'm all in says he with the masochistic words written on his chin,

Gaga throws her dark shades on her slave Popculture,

he bows and tries to back out the door,

When Elvis and Kerry Grant grab his collar,

and tell him to earn his dollar.

My hand is nothing but missed connections,

and different lives I might have lived.

I fold.
1.3k · Jan 2014
Smiling Through the Chaos
Smiling while the Earth breaks around me,
its covered in shadow,
with little light trying to show,
I say to myself, "this should be a new low"
as fire erupts around me, beautiful chaos, like a mind after a line of blow,
but the darkness tries to take,
it tears and my mind it tries to ****,
but a little light tugging at my side,
forcing the darkness to run and hide,
the wind is rich and full of electricity,
my soul along its edges have burned,
I love the fact that I love you, even if it's not returned.

Smiling through the chaos.
I'm a lover of beautiful contradictions, and this is one I have always liked... I had an old friend and I didnt realize I was in love with her till after she was married to someone else...its not like loving someone you dont know or keeping it hidden or far away, I told her and moved on, but for that moment of realizing I had loved her was the thing I was trying to get at...and smiling at it ...on a side note..I think this poem is one of my most badass haha..
When it rains here,
there is no lightning, nor thunder to fear,
like a tear,
without the shakey voice,
you have the choice,
hide under a tree,
or let everyone one see,
you embrace the sadness,
you embrace the storm,
feeling the cold but accepting the warm,
shout at the clouds,
I'm not leaving!
as the sun shines,
and the tears are just lines,
you will smile knowing,
that when you feel the wind blowing,
and the rain makes you feel like a wet pup,
you can accept it.
I think I stopped writing aboot a storm within the first few lines
1.3k · Oct 2014
Mysterious May I.
Mysterious may I see you smile,
I know it's been a while,
and you think it's lost,
to your heart that has been overcome with an exhausting frost,
I have a silly picture I found,
so make a small giggle or some kind of sound,
to know you will be ok.

Mysterious may I give you this dance,
and show you that by happenstance,
you have a friend that will listen to your greatest laid plans,
even though you hate the blueprints,
and show you that friendship doesnt come in midnight stints,
of only needing someone to unload an emotional burden upon.

Mysterious may I be your loudly sang music,
when the world tells you that you cant sing for ****,
let me show you that your voice is amazing,
not because of tune, harmony or rhythm,
but because it lets you exhaust your overflowing stress system,
that everyone needs to release.

Mysterious may I be your nostalgic future,
memories that you will hold onto long when you are old,
the midnight cigarette you light to get the feeling of being a kid,
the feeling of the reminder that you are strong and bold,
and even though you feel like you are beyond your years,
let me be the one to tell you a ***** joke,
to show you that you can always be forever young,
and to laugh that you just liked the smell of the smoke,
because of the memories that dance around with it hanging in the air.

Mysterious may I be here,
to watch you grow,
you hate what I know,
and love what I say,
may I show you that I am here to stay,
to show you that you are just in the first act of an unscripted play,
and what ever way and whatever the lines you choose to say ,
you decide to do what will break the already to straight of a face.

Mysterious may I show you that you are something more,
you arent just a face in a text book or eye's blurry and sore,
a person of great might,
because even the smallest meteorite,
has a brilliant flame as it descends from the darkness.

Mysterious most of all may I be your friend,
because in the end,
know one knows whats around the bend,
but at least we will have someone else,
who will enjoy the ride.
Thinking aboot tweaking the ending, what do you think dear reader?
1.3k · Dec 2013
Half lives
He walks down a street in the teenage wasteland,
Listening to a no named band,
Everyone loves,
A cold smile and watered eyes,
The wind is showing him the way,
He feels an empty pack of cigarettes and feels their comforting lies,
And tries to keep ahead of his own,
He feels the wind blown,
In his hoodie and his hair,
So he forces to stare,
At oncoming cars and pries into their life,
A young couple laughing that cuts through the cold like a dulled knife.

She cant believe she’s here,
But amidst the guilt and fear,
He grabs her hand,
And feels it all blow away like sand,
She starts to laugh,
As he does in their little car,
A moment she cant let go,
So she holds his larger than life hand,
Laughing with the band, laughing with the music,
She sees a man walking down the street in the snow,
And once again she is sick.
She leans her head against the window and looks at an old man in the next car.

Memories fading but always the more clear,
There used to be a swingset at that park shaped like a deer,
We had been there with the kids,
Smiling like the young couple in the car next to me,
They were laughing a second ago,
But like all good memories and shows, I suppose too that had to go,
Shake it away old man like you can do so well,
Its not their fault you’re living in a museum hell.
A man walking down the street smiles at me,
Or is that just what I wanted to see?

He realizes who she is,
From an old life,
Turning his head he sees an old man stare him down so he shoots a smile,
No one notices and the snow is beginning to make things cold and wet,
He says he should go home he bets,
And as the ghost stops laughing and puts her head on the glass in front of him,
The prideful son,
Takes over and he makes a left,
It wasn’t her besides you were the theft,
That took her for granted in everyway,
Some words come out and he hears himself say,
Ill just go this way.

Her head is making the glass fog around as it starts to go numb,
So she lifts it off the glass and stares at the fog,
Draws a cartoon dog,
And smiles in admiration of her work,
It starts to disappear,
And again she starts to feel the fear,
Fear he will leave her again,
Fear she will leave him to do protectin’
Our lives are not our own,
Like changing songs on the radio,
Everyone has a time when they need to go,
He’s rubbing her hand with his thumb to ease the anxiety.
The light turns green.

Cowardice.
He feels it worse than the cold,
He says he should pull out his phone and make a call,
But hes not that bold,
She looked happy anyway,
They deserve to be this way,
Like a radio station changing’ a song,
This life forever too short always feeling long,
He punches the walk button to make it go quicker,
As if he could outrun her.

My muesum is too crrouded with ghosts,
I walk into it too often to make made up toasts,
“may the Gods keep the wolves in the hills and the women in our beds!”
Ill exclaim and hold up a glass to the shadows,
A tar black hand looses bit of shadow on me as it says it loves me,
Venom.
The shadow keeps it hand on it till I shake out of the museum,
A car honking and a *******, yeah I can see them,
The light is green.

Was it a shade?
She turns up the music to drown her thoughts,
But it turns back to late nights on his ****** moth eaten cots,
Forces it to the man by her side,
He hasn’t lied,
He has only made her feel like it on the night she cried,
The man next to her is quiet,
But that happens after you make the music hurt,
That was my fault in the end,
Always is.
“I’m sorry.”
She reaches her phone and types the words but doesn’t hit send,
Changes it some new word blend.


Where to go when all there is snow?
And no money to show,
Or else he’d have spent it on more smokes,
The snow soaks,
Need to follow my feet,
And keep walking down the street,
Anywhere is fine to get the sublime,
To feel warm and at home,
Again he tries to pull out his phone,
But the words slink and slide on his mind,
“I’ll be fine.”
He should delete that ******* text.
First attempt at a long poem, hopefully add more but would love to have feedback on if I should or scrap it and start a new one
1.3k · Dec 2013
I used to be handsome.
What's in store, For the used up *****, Washed up with no dignity to show, But there was no way to know, Because they started brilliant and bright, But now, its clawing in darkness searching for a scrap of light, They had the world at the ready, With a dream that's forever and steady, But courses change from time to time, Go back a few years and see the sign, They never had a chance, Their life deemed a tragedy in a hypnotist trance, They had all the tools, To make art and words again cool, who's to know if they will turn around again, But It might be too late to make things right, So check on me again tomorrow night.
Stupidly depressing but this was a night a few months ago my badassery failed me and had to write it down.. almost considered not posting it or changing the title...but ***** it right?
1.2k · Dec 2017
Oh, Mysterious.
You deserve a poem,
at the very least,
you really ought to have a feast,
with all the people that,
see you,
for you,
you deserve to have sounds from stars,
playing to delight,
till your day has become your night,
you took a chance,
on a broken,
tired rhymed poet,
it's your birthday,
and this is the best I can do,
you deserve a band,
and people to recognize you across the land,
to wish you a special day,
because you have that way,
to make people feel,
like it's their day,
depression and nutella,
socks and underpants,
dances with no end,
you deserve the better,
and never just something,
people feel like that they lend,
coffee with cats,
castles with open mic nights,
you deserve more,
a year ago I would have killed to write this,
a year ago you were just a kid,
behind bars,
or across oceans,
you deserve more,
a year from meow,
I know that you will be even better,
because, **** girl,
like a meteor,
you'll make another big impact,
you deserve more than a poem,
but it's what I can give at the very least,
and all that's left to write,
is,

Happy Birthday.
1.2k · Nov 2013
Doomsday Sunrise
She said so go,
halfway through the show,
she was a nut but exciting all the same,
I ran like a scared kid running from the word no,
but I turned and asked to stay,
for this was always her play,
and I was just an extra,
but I couldn't and I came walking back fast,
I couldn't let our scene and sunrise fade into the past,
halfway mad,
halfway sad,
I asked her to stay,
with a smile and a tear in her eyes,
I held her hand,
at a Lake in Montauk we watched the skies,
our own doomsday sunrise.
Kinda disjointed, but I wanted to show my usual way of format...I really like the idea of the contradiction of something beautifully sad, like watching the sunrise on doomsday.
It's raining,
Ambulance sirens drown the,
Silent slumber,
No one is on the road,
A mobile maddance,
Mad chanced,
Or mild happenstance,
No change,
But the toll keeper keeps,
Jingling coins,
What have you got to pay?
The windowless hospital waits,
With a unacknowledged anxiety,
No one is on the road,
Will this be the last time or,
Are you trying to make,
Every one stare longer,
The rain wont stop,
Shot, shot, shot,
Drip, drip, drip,
It'll be a few days,
Till the rain,
Decides to quit,
The toll keeper has better things to do.
And the ambulance rolls on.
Flipping another page,
But I already know that the words sound gross,
I hate my position and the cards been dealt,
The feelings that were felt,
And the hand I took,
Made me have to relook,
At what's in store,
We can't see it as a volcano,
On a distant island,
But man its tough to see the helicopter,
Made of sticks,
I promised that my heart never quits,
So ill dig my toes in the sand,
Outside my heartbreak hotel,
And watch as my emotional Malibu,
Goes to hell.
The fire crackles
1.2k · Apr 2014
life is irony 10w
I saw,
a man in a wheelchair,
carrying,
a stepladder.
What was he trying to get to?
I first met God when from me he bummed a cigarette,
I asked him how I can win this bet,
and to let go of her and be ok,
he asked which girl with a smile in a way,
I said all of them because I just want to hear all of them say,
you were alright,
he took a drag and said we had met before,
when I was again in Florida I was feeling this down and poor,
we had a drink,
you asked what this life was all about,
and with a smile with shades of a pout,
I told you that only you could figure that out,
his cigarette was done and so was mine,
I asked again if this was just a waiting line,
or just a road covered with dust,
he flicked it and said that I always will have my lust,
for the future,
for the present,
for the past,
and I may feel like in the line I am last,
but really there is no line or road,
and this isnt a secret code,
he said I was ok,
then asked for another cigarette.
1.1k · Dec 2013
Christmas Truce
In my trench and freezing cold,
saw a guy get his helmet shot when he stood up a bit feeling bold,
still alive but has a  wound,
I should be back in hometown with mum and pop,
eating turkey,
but instead I get this slop,
My adrenaline has been going for two weeks and its starting to wear,
but sleep I do not dare,
no man's land is all I will see,
and my dead friends welcoming me,
I start to nod into sleeping fright,
but again I fight,
I start to hear singing from across the field,
delusions I yield,
but again I hear,
and every now and then a cheer,
all drained of fear,
I pop my head up and see the Germans singing,
Christmas carols ringing?
A mate next to me starts to sing the same tunes,
so I pick it up and more do,
we must be loons,
but the singing together goes all through the night,
British and Germans, ever the hard ***** are singing too,
in the morning a brave chap gets out of the trench,
walks across the field that has the death stench,
no fire comes upon him nor gas,
but a man from the otherside gets up and rushes to meet him fast,
I dont see what they are saying but they exchange cigarettes and matches,
then the peace hatches,
we all get up on both sides and go talk with our enemies from yesterday,
we only smile because there is nothing to say,
except today is Christmas and we both want to go home,
but tomorrow we will both be firing at each other alone,
a football game break out and our commanders are even smiling,
no order to pour into filing,
just smoking pipes and waiting for it to end,
we show each other pictures of our girls and what they send,
no longer two side,
but two humans that needed someone in to confide,
we shake hands and go back to our trenches,
sit on our poorly built benches,
and wait till tomorrow when we are no longer a son,
but enemies trying to **** each one.
One of my favorite stories of ww1, the two sides actually stopped for more than a day and the captains had to say fight or its considered mutiny, because how these guys couldnt fight someone they knew was a someone, and not just the enemy.
1.1k · Feb 2015
I'll always answer.
It hurt,
But only here and there with a spurt,
I never hear her footsteps,
And question if she's really gone,
Appearing ghost like when she first appears,
With musicless skin tones and melodramatic tears,
She shares her fears and wants,
Steals kisses with under the breathe taunts,
Then she walks away with no footsteps,
Months and years blur into a painting of a portrait that has changed painters with completely different ideals,
With each painter a random time,
As she returns,
With more scars that follow on her in painted burns,
Everything is new,
But the words have a different ring to them, everytime,
Taking more but leaving with less,
When she leaves I hear no footsteps,
It hurts a little.
I really do have my moments of guilt,
But also too afraid to lose what we have built,
Are you playing a game, and I don't know the position?
Or is this a transition to something great,
And night I'm alone and it's myself I hate,
But when I wake up to a clenched phone,
still smiling about the dream of me and you,
And a bench,
It, like the day, has been renewed,
So should I stay selfish and unflinching,
Even though the protests and picket signs,
Are crossing over to my mind,
Or realize,
That I never want to have a day,
Where I can't say,
Good morning, and I won't leave,
No matter what come,
And I am here to stay.
Maybe we both need to hear that for once in our lives,
Someone isn't leaving.
I was thinking of putting the last two lines in the notes...what do you think dear reader?
Packed cars,
With the dust trailed by rain,
Serenades only heard by the souless,
Spirits speaks of feelings unknown,
There's love and uncertainty in the air,
Excitement with exit wounds bleeding
Airs of nostalgic performances,
Reflections of sunsets on buildings
I'll never know the name of,
Even if I pass by it a thousand more times,
Windy destruction keeps its arms open to beauty,
While this train car creeps through the solitude,
Indescribable feelings,
So poets take to the streets,
With musicians creating soundtrack muses
And my stop is down the line.
Pretty quick
I have dreams where I'm punching a wall, But my hands don't hurt and there's no hole at all, I'll punch and no one will hear, I punch, but only feel a greater fear, No blood or noise, So I pull back with poise and strike again and again, But nothing but a bent wrist and a straighshoot of sadness lingers in the air, My hands are fine and so is the wall, the window and the door, They aren't cut or hurt, only my pride bruised on the floor, I can't have this dream anymore
I saw her in an open field,
a stick sword I saw her wield,
screaming and waving the stick around,
but there was no sound,
just a rustling of leaves in the wind,
that's when her eyes shot like a pin,
at mine,
and she smiled so shyly, so fine,
I was awkward and fell when I started towards her,
the wind stopped and electricity started to stir,
I asked her if we could someday be in love in French,
she smiled shyly again and punched my arm,
and called me a maiden *****,
I picked up a stick and told her to duel,
for the fire was getting fuel,
she threw down her stick,
and I went for a kiss but my nose she decided to lick,
staring with an awkward smile she pushed my cheeks,
and kissed me as I could feel my heart peaks,
awkward and my hand started to sweat,
I awoke with the feeling of winning a bet,
I will wait till tonight,
because you may not be real or in sight,
but that just means I havnt met you yet.
I have dreams of my Naru some nights, I can never see her face but I know she's there
I havnt seen you in years,
through the happiness and the tears,
I confer a dream,
it wasnt happy nor mean,
just me asking if you opened your present,
and you looked at me with eyes that made me feel like a wealthy peasant,
we were laying in a field,
you were my guard and I was your shield,
the world around us began to burn,
and I felt like there was something to learn,
so I asked if you had anything left to give,
your hand on my cheek,
you told me to just live,
the answer wasnt the reverse question that I seek,
I held you close and it felt so real,
even though we have always been too far from each other to feel,
you told me you had to go because friends dont do this,
but how could I turn down the loveliness,
I couldnt, and I begged her to stay,
she said this was just a dream and go I had her to let,
I woke up then drenched in sweat,
and my pillow shmooshed against my face,
closing my eyes tight I beg God to let me go back to that place,
to let me back in the field to hold her once more,
but after a while,
my eyes just began to feel sore.
I have dreams of different loves that I have had or will have or might not have almost every night...this one was aboot a girl that I was really good friends with but she lived a ways away and was still struggling to get over her last love...its been a month and I still havnt talked to her, but I guess this is like I am..
1.0k · Feb 2015
He's Gone.
Oh Jacob, where did you go?
Smiling with your madness,
Of...wait, he wonders where'd his veins go!?
They had ran of to another part of his mind,
One he didn't understand very well,
And felt haunted going there,
Because of the attic from hell,
Oh Jacob, where'd you go?
He heard it,
But the corner vortex has a beautiful hum,
And the desperation of his frantic glances for fun,
He doesn't know whether to talk back or just...
Oh lord the clocks are ticking backwards and everyone is acting like it's a pumpkin patch they never wanted to visit,
He must let everyone know!
He says, "What's the point of shoveling snow?!"
While living in a desert,
Oh Jacob, where'd you go
I'd like to know dear reader, where did he go? I'd like to come back and edit this one....but hey it's still badass!
1.0k · Mar 2014
Sleepyz's 500th dream.
The devil is in the diner,
Asking if I want more coffee,
Telling me it's free,
I answer that I think I have had enough,
an angel sitting courtside says,
havnt we all?
the ball is gone and a car crash begins,
because in the end who really wins,
she pours me another,
and she hands me another beer,
what am I to make?
with an everyday that everything is at stake?
the music is playing on the jukebox,
the music is playing on the loudspeaker,
but the demon in the car,
and my Savior sitting close,
do I do what I purpose?
she smiles while I place down my tip,
and cheers when the team has won,
I guess in the end,
I can always take more.
What the **** did i just write?
I have to close this chapter in the book,
it doesnt matter how it will read or how it will look,
because even the worst memories get brighter,
as age gets dimmer like a dying lighter,
right meow it will be looked at as a year for hate,
a year to commiserate,
maybe a year to accept the growth in me,
or a time I was most free,
it was a year for love,
or maybe it was just all of the above,
but that's every year I suppose,
just like every poet rhymes,
and has pros,
every year makes me happy,
and every year makes me feel down in the dumps,
its a just a game,
"Of streaks and slumps"
so here's to the next year
of happiness and fear,
love and anger,
thrashing and quiet,
raises up glass to my friends I have and havnt met yet
Lets all make a bet,
to be have good days and bad,
so that next New Years,
there will be something to be a had
I'm pretty terrible with themed poems, and I usually try to avoid them...the streaks and slumps is in quotation marks because its something my father(sjr1000, his stuff puts my stuff in a cannon and blows it oot of the water) says for everything from life to basketball...Happy New Years everybody, I wish I could actually have a drink with all of you, instead of a vitual one...
what the hell, this is good enough right?
996 · Nov 2013
Feels like 2.
I see the grey over Reno, From my window on top of my mind, The greycast feels over this town, Like fingers of gold feeling a head, As the down is placed down, Its fall and winter intertwined, And its on everybody's mind, We all here for reasons we don't want to say, So we all stay, Looking at the lights, and the vacation, We look at them like a ****** looks at *******, Full of wonder and hope, Yet outside our grey place we wouldn't beable to cope, "its raining in Reno and it won't ever stop", Said the ***** to the cop, As the sun began to rise, A poet writes, A knowitall admits it lost it's love during the fall, A singer and business man on a teenager lookout fumble nervously with buttons and zippers, While a Cinderella wonders how hell find her without loosing her slipper, A lover looks at her lust through the oversized windows on the bus, An awkward kid stays awake, wondering if he could be smooth, A girl with beautiful eyes, walks down the street with headphones playing jazz, A honest man question his lies, And an old woman and a young actor are singing a tune long dead, But they can't get each other out their head, All looking at the grey, Almost to say, Its always going to be this way
Once again ignore the ******, ****** formatting
I want to write a masterpiece,
that puts my ego and drive to peace,
I want to make something that gets the masses to stammer and quake,
feeling oot the true humanity and delivering nothing fake,
something to make them feel love and heartache,
to give them a rise,
by building them up with beautiful lies,
and tearing them down at their peak,
making their own head and heart something deep inside,
they have to seek,
but brick by brick I'll build them back up to my side,
they will feel consciousness spread across the great divide,
when I do this master work,
I'll give them each a piece of my soul to lend,
and then the poem will end.
Long title that I thought would sound cool...I think this poem is a badass one...hopefully you will too
983 · Dec 2013
Hello again James
Hello jealousy,
why are you calling me so profusely?
I needed to ask how are things,
you cant let me just stay away?
you cant deny my timings,
well now things are different and I said goodbye with better rhymings?
I have someone new now,
how?
we both cant move on so just admit I am tall, dark, and handsome,
no answer and she is taking away the fun,
is he here for you in the end?
yes, with a smile in her voice, he's my new boyfriend.
I tell her I'll say something sweet but the words dont come,
a beautiful end of with a dial tone sun,
it tastes bitter sweet,
yet blinding and no simple feat,
I text her saying needing her to know she will be fine,
no response,
like the first time a butterfly came and said hello,
The feeling wont go.
so yes I have to point oot the obvious, I was talking to a girl and she is my jealousy because of the new boyfriend...I read the first line and it just seemed like I was talking with myself..
959 · Sep 2015
the longer the wait
Her smile,
*******,
It's taking up to much of a file,
She always flips a coin,
And smiles when telling you,
That she found it in Spain,
And calls it her laws of nature,
Then joking refers to a yoyo she named her *** life,
She cuts words like samurai getting ahold of a dinner knife,
But speaks awkwardly everytime,
Tending to tenderness,
Who knows?
But that smile,
*******,
It's like a terrible heist movie,
With a plot line that has to do with monks,
And one actor is overpaid,
Knowing that at the end their still made,
What to do besides eat that popcorn and enjoy the show,
That smile though...
I feel like this one I'll edit...if I don't get lazy...
Bing.

I plant a kiss that rolls of her lips,

Bing.

I want to chug this drink of love, but she is only giving sips,

Bing.

Sad eyes meet each other,

Bing.

But a hicky staring at me is from another,

Bing.

I plant one more,

Bing.

Hoping to make her lips sore,

Bing.

A rip in the real,

Bing.

The dance on the dead,

Bing.

She says she needs to walk away

Bing.

Or at least thats what I thought she said,

Bing.

I can't change the past,

Bing.

Cant change anyway.

Bing.

There is nothing either of us can say,

Bing.

This is the end of my day.
Bing.

Bing.

Bing.
She did end up driving away,Wrote when 20 (now 23), didn't like it too much back then but now I like the simplicity of it and the Bing from car door still haunts me.
953 · Aug 2014
A swing's haunting
Their ghost smiles,
And always existing files,
Haunt my dreams,
I see him play,
I hear her say,
"I love you dad"
Empty swings in a park,
That mock me by still dances in the dark,
I call out but I know they aren't real,
A darkness that feels,
I can feel their warmth and fright in my dream,
But when I try to hold tighter,
They evaporate into steam,
I guess fate likes to mock me,
When all I see are whatmighthavebeens,
We will see each other soon.
Written while trying to keep my eyes open
948 · Sep 2015
Comfortably Uncomfortable
Falling asleep,
But needing to write,
Too much oxygen,
Or too much right,
I owe it to her, to write right meow,
Heartbeat is realizing,
They aren't coming back that night,
Like a loyal dog it begins to calm,
Until they come back,
And feel their palm,
I don't think to stand nor sleep,
Just here wherever,
Trying to remember new memories to keep,
It's awkward, but unforced,
With delirious comfortability,
But sleep eventually conquers,
And my writing loosing eligibility,
Dizzy, but the smiling won't cease,
Waking up tomorrow, or tonight.
With an awkward peace
I originally had the title as, "awkward" but let me know what you think in the comments dear reader
He says good morning and sits alone,
She sits surrounded by people but feels alone,
He checks his phone,
And smiles,
She is thinking aboot the miles,
But they forget,
He has nothing set,
She has everything but still feels upset,
And they havnt even met,
He has regrets he can't forget,
She takes a drag of a cigarette
Another day is passing,
He feels everything massing,
She feels done,
But looks at her kids to feel the sun,
He's going down a dead end street,
She is cleaning to a beat,
And they are both going a hundred miles,
To the end of meanwhiles,
That should be real,
He looks with lonesome eyes at every meal,
She's trying to remember what it means to feel,
They will not meet,
But still they smile all the same,
This show will end lame,
But it started with an alright scene
Yesyes I know I used the last line before, but ****** I love it haha..
I'm in love with a 33 year old..
938 · Nov 2013
Reno quit calling.
I see this city for what it is, Hung over from a drunk night of love and thizz, The scores of underaged mental ******, This city has its dope game sores, The blinking lights of dreams that may never be, And the burnt out saints singing of their misery, The deaf musicians holding for glory days, And quiet actors lips singing future unknown plays, And all the intellects and jocks are buying memories from the street on 4th, As we all look up with longing in the shadow of mount in north Painters obnoxiously using pastels made of broken hearts and deep cuts, While boozed up geniuses look with hope at their pile of cigarette butts, As we all hope for something more, We fail to smile at the witty and ugly *****, The failed nights of that fall cold, And the shyest writers with pros of mindsets that have forever danced away the feeling of bold, We all look up with longing in the shadow of the mount in the north, As we all put down our hands,
And fold.
Still too lazy to rewrite from Facebook, hopefully the formatting doesn't take away from it..
When did I become so bitter?
Used to be the guy seeing a bag and pick up the litter,
now I watch it blow by,
less of a smile and more of a sigh,
my kid, my teenage self would never want to be this guy,
singing loudly used to be a habit,
now I just write sad poems on a laptop or tablet,
not the type you come to,
because all my colors are gone cept for blue,
what happened to you?
when did I become so sad?
instead of always seeing good,
now its just all bad,
not optimistic nor real,
just writing to make me feel,
but it doesnt help like i need it,
I used to finish a poem and sigh off the ****,
but now I'm consumed bit by bit,
by this world,
by my life,
by my past,
used to smile while finishing last,
dreaming was a hobby and I would want to sleep,
now I run away from dreams and stay awake till the alarm goes beep
when did I get so bitter?
used to take care of drunk friends like a sitter,
now the days are gone and I'm drinking alone,
waiting by the phone,
but not answering the call,
I used to see girls and feel my heart stall,
and smile when they looked my way,
now their eyes look and say,
what happened to you?
Why am I so bitter?
Just oot of it tonight I guess.
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