Explain to me this
Why does the world say that love is the best feeling?
When all I feel is cold
Empty words from empty people
****** words tumbling from my mouth
Masking the ****** up feelings inside
The tough face I put on melting for moments
Before I realize that those moments of weakness
Ruin my chances to live
Because being numb is better than being vulnerable

Explain to me this
Why does everyone say it's okay to take a chance?
That it'll be worth it to say what I feel?
When all that leaves is ****** souls
and broken hearts. Jagged words pierce
skin, leave blood on my fingers.
Whose blood is it?
Because what hurts even more than rejection
is being rejected by someone you had a chance with.
Not even rejected actually-
But completely sidelined by.

Explain to me this
Why can't I have a life of friendships?
Why do I have to live through others,
Without seeing anything for myself?
Learning and yearning
Wishing for something different
Hoping for someone to save me.

I feel a bit lost,
I feel like I'm drowning.
I feel as if the world
is looking at me, frowning.
Everyone must think
that I'm a fool for letting myself
reach the brink
for someone that only looks to me
when he can't see himself.  

I care too much
I care too fast
I make mistakes
with consequences that last
I don't take chances,
I take risks
and that's all the difference
that matters in the end.

I wish you luck,
I wish you joy.
Please don't look back
and notice the quiver
of unspoken thoughts
hanging in the air
as I say nothing
and think everything.

I believe my soul is rotten
Yet you say it is not

I see my face, it's so ugly
Yet you say I'm pretty

I think my body is destroyed
Yet you say I've earned my stripes

I know my heart is beyond repair
Yet you say you'll help mend it

Can you really see so deep into my eyes?
Into my soul?
My heart?
Sometimes I think you're blind
Because everything about me is *torn all apart