my heart yearns to write
my emotions yearn to be expressed
my thoughts yearn to be free.

i would give anything to satisfy these pleas
but alas, i cannot.

my pen won't write,
my keyboard busies itself with essays and research, and
my creativity has gone mute.

it feels like my soul is stuck, frozen in time,
trying to force out the pretty words that produced so easily before.

the more i try, the harder it gets
the more i lie, the number it gets
the more i cry, the easier it gets.

perhaps i need to come from a different approach, like i have today
just stop bullying my feelings, just stop wringing my mind,

and be content just letting it flow.

My Daisy

From a tiny ball,
I always felt you weep,
Silently,
Whilst your heart broke,
Clutching disappointment,
In your small hands,
Spreading out the jewels,
Of your wonderful tears,
And never letting go.

Love Grandma ***

I find myself changing as nature does- recklessly and suddenly without notice, and nature is what I come back to in order to heal.

Fires are often looked at as destructive forces,
And they surely can be, but they can also
Rejuvenate. Contrary to popular belief, fires most
Often leave a beautiful aftermath. Some examples
Being that certain plant seeds only germinate after
A fire, new growth is accessible to animals for food,
minerals are returned to the soil, and
Although many animals are stripped of their
Homes- this vacancy creates suitable areas for
New species to settle. Similar to how a fire
Cleanses the land it nearly destroys, a traumatic life
Experience allows an individual to undergo a necessary
Amount of growth and change. Whether what we take
From a situation leaves us aching or allows us to reflect,
We will always unknowingly benefit from the pain. I do
My best to keep this at the forefront of my memory when
Reminded of the baggage I carry. My healing will continue. and I will make a promise to myself that for every new fire that disseminates through/over my life, I will make amends with it
And allow for it to change me in the best way possible.

Remember the nights –
We sat outside and gazed at the sky;
We wrote our names into constellations,
Shared our dreams and promises
And swore them to the stars.


There’ll be something in the night sky
That I’ll be forever fascinated by it,
And those times always happen
when I’m with **you.