instead of saying
do
instead of judging
help
instead of worrying
be
instead of hating
love
instead of hurting
heal
instead of taking
give
instead of crawling
FLY

i
eat
sleep
breathe
feel
and
see.          
                      but,
                      i
                      find
                      it
                      hard
                                        to
                                        be
                                                             me.

Crying in the rain only lasts so long
And redrawing faded sharpie butterflies can't go on forever
Dreading over the pink and white lines that make you look like like a kindergarten art project only causes secrecy
While puking up your last meal only causes travesty.
We all hit the bottom whether it be through drugs or cuts
Burning or vandalism
Alcohol or caffeine
Puking or refusing to eat.
We all have a point that we wish we never turned to
And the meds prescribed to help you
Only make it worse
And seem like a fantasy.
We all hit the bottom but to sip from a different cup
We have learned to fake smiles
And pretend to have our chin up.

if i slip on a banana peel
will you be the one to catch me before i fall
or the one eating the banana and laughing?

my soul had left it's residence
restless essence led to the exodus
I set out to be fed by precedence
trying to get the best of excellence

I ended up just west of prevalence
right where I left my pestilence
I attest no suggestive evidence
i was never blessed in my quest for benevolence