he built an impervious wall
he built it high
he kept her out
his divide did stand
strong and stoic
ne'er would he
permit her access again
it acted as an insurance policy
not one brick in its structure
had a weak spot
the mortar reinforced
like a dense piece of steel
so well  it did fortify
with his barrier solidly in place
his heart was
so well encased
his blocking partition
screened out
her specter's trace

im sorry i didn't answer my phone
that night. i told you "i'll only be a hour,
i promise," but you didn't inform me that you were leaving too. twenty missed calls. one text.
"i can't do this anymore, please
pick up, what do i do?"
im sorry i got mad at you that one day, screamed, left, and cried. you always told me i was too emotional and to toughen up inside. you said you'd always be by my side, although i think you failed to define always, and mention, that soon, you'd be saying goodbye.
im sorry i wasn't as bubbly as you on the days you smiled with your teeth. the days you got confident and decided you were free. the days you came and tugged my hand, got this idea, like school was something we could afford to flee.
im sorry that when i questioned
you about the cuts and bruises, i allowed you to tell me "it's nothing, don't worry about it, i'm fine."
im sorry when your mom left
you home that night, you looked
but didn't find. you said you called exactly after an hour, but i wasn't anywhere around.
im sorry they teased and picked on you, called you names, pulled your hair, and kicked you down.
im sorry, i swear i ran as fast as i could after i was done. my mile takes me ten, maybe fifteen minutes, at least.
im sorry i got there too late and understood all your pain after you put it in ink.
YOU KNOW IM NO GOOD WITHOUT YOU, GOD YOU KNOW IM ******* WEAK.
WHY DID YOU LEAVE? I CANT DO THIS ON MY OWN, DON'T YOU THINK?
im sorry... im so sorry... im right
here, you see? can we talk about this? rethink it?
just please, promise you'll visit me tonight while i sleep.

after he had a whiskey
at the Stony Creek saloon
the cowboy rode out
to face his high noon

with a Winchester rifle
stowed in his saddle pack
he rode along
the timbered mountain track

by a bluff clearing
he sighted a camp fire
which signaled to him
that it was Jake Maguire

he called out his name
saying your days in sun are over
I'm going gun you down
before the day is over

with his Winchester primed
and ready to blast
the cowboy shot Maguire
lightning fast

there was no high noon
contest on that summer day
as into the sun set
the cowboy rode away

She was a ghost in the day
her mother drank her days away
Always trying to do her best
she got the highest grades on all her tests.
Thinking she'd never be that way
covering up her pain with smiles all day...
Her mother did get better
but never wrote that important letter
saying sorry for all the pain
that left her daughter with disdain
for the mother that was never there
all because she didn't care.
So the little girl with big brown curls..
the one that became a ghost
became the thing she'd hated most
And so the cycle began again
the little ghost had a girl
this time with big blonde curls
the mother took away the girl
treating her to the whole wide world
the little ghost became very sad
for all the things she never had..
her wrists began to drip with blood
as her soul began to drift above..
and the mother never understood
why the ghost went out this way
choosing that cold December day
(her anticipated 16th birthday)
Because all the ghost ever wanted
was to be loved, cherished, and acknowledged..
she missed her baby girl with big blonde curls...
and, glad that she would have the world.
The Karmic twist seemed so outlandish..
that she decided to just vanish.

Daddy: I did not know you well/except for the suits you wore
they were always well tailored in the color blue
would it be okay if I told you how much I miss you...?
You always smelled of Black Jack gum
I remember running up to you
when you came home sometimes you smelled of ***...
n' I was barely four
but I remember uttering the words, "gum-gum"
Daddy, I loved you so much...
why did you have to leave/why did we lose touch?
I loved the letters you used to send
when I left for college
I thought my life would end...
but you wrote humorous lines
about long dog your wiener schnitzel pet...
you always made up stories about some guy named "Chet"
I'm so sorry I didn't get to say goodbye--
I wished and wished...
the day I found out you had died...
it was a bad joke/a terrible lie...
I love you Daddy...if you can hear me up there
I hope Tigger n' Lion's are fly'n everywhere
just like the stories you told me every night...
before you tucked me in bed with my baby bear...
n' you brushed my hair...
you always said, "Papa loves you...
Tiger, you sleep tight...
now you just  go...
n' let your dreams take flight"