On the outside it looks like I'm doing better.
But I think it's on the inside too.
It feels like months since I hurt myself
Though it's only been a few.

This has been so easy
I'm almost scared to ask.
Did I really get over it?
Or is the hurting masked...

I'm feeling more confident
No more cuts for me
But last time I slipped up again
What will this time be?

Can't bring myself to give it up
The knife that I have hidden
Afraid to touch the hard steel blade
Control is overridden

For now it's good and I'm content
No more hurt, suffering, or torment.

Withered branches reaching out,
Catching fallen leaves
Stone cold outside
With many rings, no one would believe.

Peeling bark and twisting tendrils
Weaving through the grass
Standing tall and never resting
Watching the time pass.

Solitude and peaceful rays
When morning lights the sky
Casting shadows on the ground
Where deepest secrets lie.

Battered and bare for many seasons
But light and warmth can make
Sprouting blossoms, newfound life
To cover any break.

I'm not much on the outside
So no one ever cares
I'm not the girl who comes waltzing in
Expecting all the stares

But if you ever stop
As my bow crosses the string
And look me straight in the eye
I'll know you're listening.

Or if you skim my writing
And catch the emotions that I feel
You'll understand there's more to me
Than I'm willing to reveal.

I'm average on the outside,
My abilities as well
But the only way you really know me
Is to search beneath my shell.

I've done a few things in my day that I don't talk about.
But when my fingers hit the keys all the confessions spill out.

No way I'm perfect, not even close
Always I fall short
I'm a sinner and my sins our Savior will abort.

I break rules and use foul words
That I'm not supposed to know.
But I ask for grace and love
Only God can show.

When I'm hurting, when I'm sad
I have a place to turn
For I can pray for help and love
When evil fires burn.

Love used to have meaning, but now it's a casual word.
Used with strangers, celebrities, it's getting quite absurd.

When someone says I love you, this is what it should say:
I will be beside you, and take your pain away.
I promise I will hold you, when you're sad or scared.
I promise I will fix your heart when it needs repaired.
I'm never going to leave you, I'll never shed a tear.
I'll do my best to be brave, and hide my every fear.
I'll mend your broken pieces, and patch them up tight.
Hold your hand and be a shield when you have no fight.
Never will I betray you, never will I lie.
When times get too hard to bear, I'll be the one to try.
If you're feeling lonely, lost and unaware.
Crawl into my open arms, you'll be safer there.

When I say I love you, that's the promise I make.
So if you say it back to me, be sure it's no mistake.

For someone once lost and all alone.
Beaten and broken, heart hardened as stone.

A surprising escape opened secret doors.
Wandering across untrodden floors.

A whole new realm of brilliant minds.
Letting go, leaving the past behind.

Connecting with souls like never before.
Plenty of new works to explore.

Unlocking passion, unknown to man.
Stumbled upon, was not the plan.

Locked in a world, where raw talents flow.
Like ink on paper, where will it go?

Where people accept what others will say.
Trying to take their pain away.

A place that has saved me much sorrow and fear.
And boosted my confidence when kind words were near.

It's been more than a month, when is long enough?
When blades are blades and knives are knives,
Rather than relief for when times get tough.

How long do I wait, for dark scars to fade?
When will the urges be something to evade?

Why isn't anything innocent anymore?
Just new methods of pain, waiting to be explored.

How can I stop wishing that when I hold an edge,
It would slip, just a bit and I can have revenge.

But for now, I have to be patient,
And keep myself away.
From all the edges, points and harm that taunt me every day.

When people say I'm different,
I'm just the same as you.
We both have fingers, toes, and such.
I even wear clothes too.

But when you say I'm different, maybe that's not what you mean.
I don't go out, I don't do parties, that's not at all my scene.

Instead I like to write, play music and do art.
Those may seem like lonely things,
But I like to be apart.

I like to sit and research.
Maybe I'm a nerd.
In this world of ignorance, I think knowledge would be preferred.

You may think a lot of things, but most of them are wrong.
There's much more to this quiet nerd, if you look deeply among.

When a girl dreams of a boy

she doesn't start to blush,
there is no distinct sparkle in her eye
but her heart flutters and skips a beat
like a dainty butterfly

her lips softly quiver
for she knows not what to say
her legs lightly bounce about
control has gone astray

his charm captivates her
his warm eyes melt her heart
his voice, mesmerizing
tears her fears apart

her mind can only wonder,
is there anything more
does a secret lurk, behind some hidden door

her doubts are cast aside
her words she can't quite form
regained her peace of mind
but her love was always worn

as you know, a mere dream cannot really
describe this sensation
for she has loved him, since his very creation

When I look into your eyes, a wave of serenity washes out stained memories.
Warmth ripples through tough outer exteriors, calloused and cracked.
As natural as the light of day and dark of night.
Plain and simple as black and white.
Speaking gently as a cooling summer breeze.
Shielding the harsh, brutal winter freeze.
Flowing softly as a clear mountain creek.
Changing leaves, mighty yet meek.
Puts me to sleep, like the setting sun.
And when I awake, my subtle dream is done...