I continue to lay in bed
Regardless of the lack of sleep it brings me
Hoping that someday my body will feel comforted enough to fall into a slumber
As if the bags under my eyes
And the stiffness of my muscles
Weren't enough to let my body know it's time to rest
If only my mind would stop running
Then maybe I could feel tranquil
But the anxiety I experience is sharp
And my thoughts cannot feel peace

i want to be yours
just not a part of you
i want to be whole
one with you

i want to be yours
i want to be able
to attach the word
"mine" to your name

i long to be yours
just like the sun longs
for the earth
holding on in a constant balance

i long to defy the will
of the law
against the sins
of love

i long to
feel the warmth
of our hearts
becoming one...

like two hearts
exchanging blood,
feeling the pulse against
yours

love always eternal.

(b.d.s)

I like being noticed.. You know.
I like being appreciated. But I like being noticed for the small things.

Appreciated would be the times you tell me I am beautiful.
Noticed would be if you realised I never believe you.

Appreciated would be the fact that I have succulent hips and
noticed would be the fact that sometimes those hips have bones, that they liked to be grasped.
That occasionally you should leave bruises - because I like reminders of where your hands have been.

Appreciated would be that I have soft skin.
Noticed would be that I like to be kissed there - on my skin - on any visible piece.  

Maybe one day you'll notice..
I'll never stop hoping.

One day you will meet a girl
Who will be joyful about everything in the world
She will not have a past that haunts her
By the scars that were reflect roads of agony when she made every wrong turn
She will not smile half heartedly
She will not laugh loud to swallow her tears
She will not hurt you intentionally
She will not push you away
She will not toy with you
She will not feed you sweet nothings
She will not make you a distraction for what she truly feels
She will not build walls so high even China cannot compete
She will not drink herself to death
She will not keep secrets
She will not make you feel bad for her
She will not cheat on you
She will not love you and push you away, afraid.

She will be clean
She will laugh and it will be real
She will cry it and it will be real
She will hurt you but never on intention
She will never push you away
And you will be persistent to let yourself in
She will drive you crazy
She will tell you she loves you and prove it in every way
You will be an inspiration
She may have walls but you will be determined this time to break them down
She may drink and get herself wasted but you will always be there for her at 2am, on the bathroom floor holding her after emptying her stomach, singing her to sleep, and it would always be one of the best nights of your life
She will not keep secrets from you
She will always make you feel better even in yiur darkest days
She will be faithful
She will be there

And you will be there to witness it all
But it's not gonna be with me.

Hey I have an idea~

Lets destroy ourself and see who gives   a ****. With each passing breath I go deeper. Deeper into the thought that tomorrow doesn't exist. Because it doesn't. Why not see what happens in this moment.

All they come for is the lights. Flashing endlessly.

Overwhelming I stare at the sidewalk. A jab of pain hits my stomach. It's like the billboards  are killing me.


Because they are.

I got a sore neck from resting my head on your shoulder.
I don't even mind, I would love to be close as the skies get colder.

My eyes are sore from not seeing you,
My heart is light with the joy of knowing this is all true.

I can't write my ******* essay,
I am too busy thinking of how I don't want you to stray.

My mind is sore from thinking about this spark,
My skull rings with this beat as I lay awake in the dark.

Hearing you say these words can be kind of terrifying,
But when you remind me you care, it is the sound of my world clarifying.

I want to be sore, I want to remember,
The way we were close, just fan the spark, don't put out the ember.