Tark Wain

Tark Wain Jun 2016

I lost myself in you
and that's okay

when does the rain
become the ocean?
or the bread become
the ****?

it's all semantics isn't it really
isn't "myself" just my minds interpretation
of its known realities
balanced against my own fantasies
and furthermore if myself does not exist
then it wouldn't be able to be lost

clever

A mind is a beautiful thing
and it's great at convincing itself of things
it knows to be untrue
I lost myself in you
of that much I am sure

How did I lose grip?
when did I let myself get comfortable
why did I
it always ends the same way
in as much in that it ends
but you were supposed to be different
and even though I knew that to be untrue
my mind convinced itself of that

and that's okay

#love #sad #relationship #feeling

Tark Wain Jun 2016

Untitled

Yeah...
I hate me too

Tark Wain Jun 2016

A Flap of Wings

I killed a butterfly today
then tried to write a poem
I don’t know why I did it
It died without a home
It struck me as compelling
as I recalled what my parents used to say
be mindful of your surroundings
a flap of butterfly wings can change a day

I thought little of it then
yet now I obsess as I reminisce
if a butterfly flap can change so much
what of the absence of it?
Have I sealed my fate to infamy
or paved my way to riches
but maybe if I **** another?
my unforeseeable fate switches

But what’s a butterfly to me?
it wasn’t much before
now you expect me to believe
it holds the key to what’s in store?
Free will must exist
at least as long as I believe it to
foolish of me to think my dead butterfly
could have some affect on you

Yet I sit here thinking
of thoughts I’ve never had
a liar I would be to tell you
that I haven’t changed a tad
It did not have a name
and I did not have a reason
yet as I blankly stared down
I felt as if I had committed treason

So I sweep away the body
and leave the room to clear my head
if my hand’s never clapped
this butterfly would not be dead
so be wary of the change you bring
the waves you choose to make
that butterfly could have changed a day
and not believing that was my mistake

Tark Wain Jun 2016

Foods Getting Cold

lemonade stained table tops
caramel crusted counters
slightly chipped glasses
and twice used napkins
                                          neatly placed
                                          and set for two
                                          even though you're gone
                                          I can't eat without you

#love #death #goodbye #food #passing #dinner

Tark Wain Jun 2016

Little May

Little May
dress made of silk
eyes the color grey
hair with silver tips
nails with fierce grips
cries everyday
as if there was spilled milk
please stop for today

we let you down
Little May
it's ok to frown
but please do not cry
please do not be shy
you deserve a golden crown
not memories of that day
when your skin was bruised to brown

Forgive us, what do you say?
it was never our intention
Little May
he never meant to hurt you
his mistakes were true
we foolishly believed what he had to say
we prayed for intervention
but he walks free to this day

We'll burn for what we did to you
that much is set in stone
all we hope is you won't burn too
Little May
Keep those awful thoughts away
we know the good days will be few
and we can never atone
For not seeing your ******'s justice through

Tark Wain Jun 2016

It's not the Same

It's not the same

Your dress looks beautiful
the weather is fantastic
this restaurant you picked
amazing
the waiter
delightful

It's not the same

What did Gina tell you?
That her bladder is so small that she has to ***
every time she washes her hands?
that's hilarious
how inconvenient

It's not the same

Pass the salt
no the other salt
haha
I know that's pepper
what a cute smile you have when you're playing a joke

It's not the same

Always the jokester
never serious

It's not the same

Did you smile like that when you let him touch you it's not the same

What a beautiful dress you have
can I try some of your pasta
wow
delicious
you know I heard it was supposed to storm out in--

It's not the same

I think I'm going to use the restroom
*** even though you don't even have to
Now that I am washing my hands I do
I'm no better than ******* Gina
Don't punch the wall

It's not the same

You forgave her
she apologized
she had to apologize
punch the wall

It's not the same

Finish washing your hands
Compose yourself
You love her
and she loves you
she always did
she made a mistake
we all make mistakes

It's not the same

not like that
we don't all do that
THAT
is not normal
Hi
Honey yes, they do have towels in the bathroom
no I didn't know they used to make creme brulee here
why did they stop?
wow amazing
why did you stop?

It's not the same

I look tired?
Works been crazy
good lie
you're worrying
she doesn't know
or care

It's not the same

You forgave her
That doesn't mean I have to
because I know
as well as you do
as much as you try to fight it

It's not the same

#love #life #forgiveness #on #sorry #moving

Tark Wain Jun 2016

Stop With Your Philosophy

Stop it.

Just stop it.

Stop it with your philosophy.
Your answers
your higher meanings.
Just stop it.

All you talk about is Socrates
you praise his ideology.
Place him on a pedestal of greatness
a shining example of a life lived right.

Where was that ideology
when he hung from the gallows.
What good are one's thoughts
when one's neck fails to connect with itself?

What say you?
Plato is no better.
nonono he is not
the man tasked with carrying on his mentors ideals.
This genius
this beacon of hope.
Spent over 10 pages of his book
explaining why older men should not have *** with younger boys
as if he was trying to convince himself.

Not the reader.

Just stop with it all.

I am not struggling to find myself
I am struggling to find rent money.
My problems are not in my head.
They are in my bank account.

You pine over a greater purpose
like it's some piece of salvation.
You talk of the high pleasures.
You tell me that I have more to gain from sitting and watching an opera
than from ******* a *****.
I don't want to discuss semantics
but I'll talk logistics.
I'll take the latter
not because I love ******* ******
but because I ******* hate the opera.

Pleasure cannot be defined or quantified
My pleasure is solely to see tomorrow.
Something I'm not too confident in right now.
Philosophy is the activity of the man with free time.
But time is not free.
It is expensive and costly.
Those with time don't understand.
Those without it understand it too well.

Love is not my end goal.
A family is not my dream.
A house on a hill would be nice.
But only because of the house.

Not the hill.

So spare me.

Please.

When you tell me about the wonders of the world.
Realize all I have seen lately are alleyways.
Don't tell me about different cuisines.
When I can only afford the dollar menu.
Don't tell me I can be anything I want
when I can't seem to be able to be anything I need.

Life is not limitless.
The soul is not infinite.
Everything has an expiration date.

I just hope mine isn't tomorrow.