Just like my life my heart is an atrocious mess
Trying to do right but the only way I seem to go is left
When I try to cry no tears seem to form on my bottom lid

I think of you and my chest feels shot with a volting stun
Sounds stupid but this time I think Cupid said uc the arrow and blasted a gun
When I wanted to help you I lost my mind when my demons wouldn’t let me give you some

I didn’t want to go back to what I knew would end
But my hearts too real and everybody knows we had a past back then
Told myself I’d be there for the moment even tho when it was over I’d want to bury my face in pills & soft dust again

I wouldn’t say my heart is broken cause that already happened a long time ago
But it’s so conflicted and it’s like instead of fixing it I just step on and crunch the broken pieces and **** brain cells so memories drain from my dome
I wouldn’t say you have to forget to fix things but that’s all I wanna do when I get to missing you cause of my heart , just cutting too close

As I write this first poem I think of how you motivate me to do things I always wanted to do but simply just never did it
Like this meditation of words explaining the conflicts in my heart, like a peaceful flashback you give me a warming vision
I still hope to go to sleep at 4 am having a miraculous dream with only me and you in it..

-AP