I will admit that I struggle with what I can't give to you. It bugs me.  It eats me up inside.

I see the care and genuine respect that you show me and I want to react. But I can't.  Not in the way I want to do so.

Believe me. I want to do so much.  I want to make grand gestures, promise you the world,  and say the things that my heart hides.

To do so,  would please me, would stoke the embers of my soul.  

But. ..it would station your life,  and I won't do that.

Instead,  I am focused on what I can do. It is not as if I can't show what I feel,  to demonstrate it. I just have to be subtle.

I am,  not by choice,  but by need,  committed to the slow burn. I will leave you with hints;  with clues to piece together.  I will beat around the bush and show you the meaning of restraint.  Because THAT is what I can do.