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j Apr 2020
She is afraid.
Afraid to breath life into the thoughts
that swells, boils, and
overflows the deep depths
of her mental.
The hurt,
the confusion,
the love,
all comes out as one.

Tears.
Tears fall as what she thought were
just paranoid fears, have
taken a life of there own.
Teasing and taunting,
laughing at her sorrow.
Today has her heart throbbing
but wait until tomorrow.

When she looks into the mirror,
now staring her in the face of 一
depression or truth?
She can't decide.
She stayed silent as she allowed
whoever the presence
may be to invade my mind.
Planting her seeds,
her words acted as the water
they needed to grow.
Which would be a greater loss,
heart or mind?

It seems as soon as the girl fixed her lips
to allow her heart to speak,
and express the love she possesses for him
a few days later her heart
aches for the same reason.
As she thinks of the things
she unfortunately failed to communicate.

Though she now knows it
wouldn't have made much of a difference,
his decision was clear.
And I don't know what hurt more,
knowing that the thought of begging him
to stay was not enough to save the love
she was willing to fight for or the reality of it all.

Or maybe it was realizing that
the love he had for another was the love she was beginning to grow for him.
How scary to know you love
someone more than they do you.
He may refuse to accept it,
but there's no way he would ever
truly know how pivotal of a
role he played in her life.

It was real for her.
She never had something
so complex, yet easy.
Loving him was easy —
Smooth.
As natural as taking a breath,
as effortless as the breeze.
Would even compare it
to an everlasting high.

After landing face first from
falling through cloud number nine,
the girl placed her hand over her chest
to feel nothing inside.
Covered in armor,
decorated with battle scars.

Shifting her eyes downward
to her pulsating feet,
She is standing upon my heart.
She has surrendered.
Fell to her knees waving the flag of defeat.
Carving the initials of
her heart's captor into
her skin.
Savannah Jane Mar 2015
i find myself curious about a boy
that stares at me as if he knows
i don't know what he knows
but he knows something
i think its about me
but he stares
and be blushes when i catch him
which is quite often
he has big sad puppydog eyes
and honestly
i would like to see happiness in them
i want to see a smile on his lips
that would match his eyes
he looks at me
behind square glasses
and white earbuds
shoved into his ears
playing loud music
and i am curious about him.
ab Aug 2014
everyone wants something and everyone doesn't want to be alone. to be lonely. that ***** man with sad eyes sitting on the sidewalk, alone and in the rain. passing, passing, passing. passing time, passing people, passing lives. or maybe you're in your home, 500 floors up. still alone, but in luxury. that isolated woman with lonely eyes and red lips and faux fur and classy cigarettes. parent's never paid much attention. both live alone, wanting a crossing of paths with someone, anyone. different spectrum of societies, suicide to be seen together. it was raining, the young woman being into the alley by men. they wanted her money. greedy, greedy, greedy. she was the youngest of the family, her family living in more extravagant places than she. she'd never be missed until the money ran out. she would die, she knew she would, shivering in the rain as they ripped off her expensive coat, pulling her hair. somehow she felt okay, at least if they killed her she wouldn't be alone. there was only darkness between her and her death, streaks of lightning lighting the terror on her smudged face. the ***** man sitting along the wall could see the woman in the white coat, not even fighting for her life. he didn't understand that, almost angered. she had money, had everything. he had nothing, even less as he got up and splashed his way through the dark to grab one of the men by the throat. he was choking, coughing as he kicked him down and his partner ran off. they hadn't expected to be challenged. the woman was pleading, her coat in a puddle. she was taking off her jewelry, shoving it into the man's hand. he shook his head, seeing the loneliness in the eyes of the woman, her dark hair wet and frizzy. she didn't seem to understand as he merely placed her jewelry in her coat and wrapped it back around her shoulders, despite it being cold and wet. they were both already cold and wet. she was frazzled, perplexed, and finally she hugged the man, sobbing in tune with the rain. they went separate ways, the woman getting to her lonely warm penthouse and stripping out of her wet clothes. they lay all over the floor along and the she laid naked on the rug. she didn't want to move, shakily opening her cigarettes as she rolled on her back. the next afternoon she was back outside, tired and silent as she wandered back into the alley. she felt empty, staring at the place where she could have met her end. she ripped off her rings and her pearls, hitting the muddy puddles along the wall. and then she heard a voice along the wall, telling her it wasn't really wise to throw away expensive things. it was the same man, standing there in the same wet clothing and sad eyes. sad eyes and lonely eyes. she said it didn't matter if you were alone, and he said he was alone and it mattered since he had nothing. the woman with lonely eyes asked the man with sad eyes if he had something: a home, a wife, children, and he answered no each time. she took his hand, walking him to the end of the alley, saying he could choose to have something. he said he did want something, but didn't know what something even looked like. she said it was okay and they walked together into the elevator to the 500th floor where he found her clothes across the floor, glass shattered in the kitchen. it was a start of something, and he didn't care if it was ugly at first and lonely eyes became a little less lonely and sad eyes became a little less sad. the something he was looking for was in her and the life of not being lonely she was looking for was in him.

— The End —