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George Krokos Apr 2023
I seem to have aged twenty years over the last two
especially since turning seventy - a personal view.
From the outbreak of the ****** virus two years ago
there's been a gradual decline in health for this I know.
Although testing negative in the last week of November
other health issues have been cropping up in December.
I somehow think that my time may be coming around
for where the body is to be laid to rest in the ground.
Morbid thoughts such as the above are dominant today
and with some people they don't easily just go away.
In my particular case my right side has been affected
and hobble around like some disabled person detected.
I wonder how long it'll be before I won't be able to cope
with doing all of those various things that range in scope
from washing and cleaning to the other domestic chores
which need to be done on a regular basis and time scores.
Unless I can afford to pay for someone to help with it all
if circumstances don't improve and my back's to the wall
I may have to consider going into an old people's home
or in some place where you're restricted to freely roam.
Another possibility would be to invite someone else in
that's compatible to shack up with and share the 'load-in'
or even perhaps the other way around that is practical
without being negative and deemed unjustly skeptical.
Someone in whom similar interests and ideals are found
all those things that are decent, life enhancing and sound.
Already it's getting to the stage when I'll need to cut my hair
something I used to be able to do by myself in the past there
but now I can barely raise my right hand up to my head
and the whole thing is a procedure I'm beginning to dread.
-------------------
As everybody gets older and experiences the change
they may notice their movements are becoming restricted in range.
_______
Written in December '21 describing one of the main reasons I haven't posted anything on HP for quite a while. Please say a heartfelt prayer and send a kind thought for me and others in the same boat. Thanks to all for reading.
Zywa Apr 2023
We have ordered musicians
but can we pay them?
Give them some tea

.....Listen, the trees are falling
.....Lovely, the sound of axes
.....cutting down the orchard

.....The times are changing
.....Play! I want to celebrate!
.....You can leave after that

I don't know, I want to go
Why have we grown so old?
I remember everybody

was happy, without knowing
why, didn't we discuss it
time after time! It is over

We'll die anyway
while life goes on
as if we have never lived
"The Cherry Orchard" (1904, Anton Chekhov)

Collection "Different times"
Zywa Dec 2022
The elderly man

is between living and dead --


famously asleep.
"Il sonno del vecchio" ("The old man's sleep", 1905, Luigi Pirandello)

Collection "After the festivities"
Zywa Dec 2022
Father, now waddling

from left to right, seems to walk --


on spherical feet.
"Het Bureau - Plankton" ("The Office - Plankton", 1997, Han Voskuil)

Collection "Not too bad [1974-1989]"
Zywa Dec 2022
In the hospital

lounge he takes a seat and falls --


asleep exhausted.
"Het Bureau - Plankton" ("The Office - Plankton", 1997, Han Voskuil)

Collection "Not too bad [1974-1989]"
Zywa Dec 2022
Splashing, dashing waves

in the shoaled harbour: a ship --


it is sailing past.
Collection "NightWatch"
Zywa Dec 2022
Out of fashion, out-dated
there's no help for it, so let me be
unattractive, rejected
because I show myself so conspicuously
and attract attention needlessly

That's how I'm seen. I am seen
and the whispering amuses me
although nobody talks to me

And you let me wait again
until the reception calls
that you are there

So I just sit here
looking out the window
I am used to it, there is nothing to see
at the back of the hotel
and it is getting dark

You always were impatient
My make-up took too long for you
and you sat angry in the car

but if I behaved exactly
the way you had conceived
you could really be sweet
"Hotel Window" (1956, Edward Hopper)

Collection "NightWatch"
Rococo Nov 2022
It’s often I’d look unto the past,
a world of wonders not meant to last,
of joys forgotten, the die long cast,
of memories drifting and fleeing fast.

It's often I'd think of us,
moments of still quiet, mixed with triumphant fuss,
where peace would find me, where I'd be allowed to trust,
It's only then, when the hammer falls, that I'm struck by loss,

It's often that I think of dying,
that sleep may find me, without us goodbyeing,
the surplus of a lifetime, relatives crying.
But above all, that not enough time was spent trying.
I wrote this thinking about m grandparent's relatioship and how hard it must be to grow old and lose so much.
her sun spots bragged of
summers spent reckless
and her silver locks of
once box dyed glory.
her drooping skin bragged of
first kisses and a hundred men’s touch—
from her so-called “glory days.”
her plump figure bragged of
children bore and
lovers loved and
a thousand lives lived.
in this old age I deemed her ageless—
having lived more in one lifetime
than most could dream to do in four.
Zywa Oct 2022
The doctor wavers,

he sighs and looks through me, so --


I already know.
"De dokter" ("The doctor", 2008, Rutger Kopland) --- Collection "After the festivities"
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