I wonder if other people see death like I do.
I do not mean in a faux-macabre way,
a sad tween way.
Picking through the 3 isles of candies at
Speedway, I sometimes catch
a whiff of
death and
I don’t mean to, but I know that
my eyes must fill with him &
I wonder if the cashier
sees
anything,
,

Have you caught the glimmer
of an adult-to-be coming to terms
with the conflicting emotions
around death,
the desire, the fear,
the terror after horror,
the longing that subsides only
with time

I had a dream I killed you.
Threw knives at your fat chest,
held you under the bath
water when you were a baby.

Pinched your nose and covered
your mouth with a pillow,
gave you a razor and made you
do it yourself.

I woke up cold and strangely calm.
I woke up tired of both of us.
And under the yellowed, motheaten blankets,
I realized:

it was what we’d both always wanted.

Sometimes, through no fault of your own, you will end up ******.
You'll get blood on your dress, blood on your shoes
blood in your hair, blood on the walls,
speckled on your lips and clinging to your eyelashes
copper in your mouth, rust under your fingernails
four perfect spatters below you
palms stained, bringing out your handprints
as if to identify that it is indeed you, covered in blood.

So you'll decide to restore yourself
and you'll resolve to wash it all away.
And as you scrub away your shame,
you'll look in the mirror
to see a woman with pursed lips
jewels heavy around her neck
brow dark and furrowed, concentrating
because she, too, is covered in blood.

You will wash your hands with her
and try not to look so pale
because the water is orange and your fingertips are white.
You will turn away from the woman with raw hands
and your palms will smell like lemons
and your eyes will be bright.
Your lips will be crimson.
You'll adjust your necklace as you leave.

I've been kicking round here
for nearly twenty years
I'm a singer no one's heard of
I play for smoke and beers
I'm an overnight sensation
I'll make you smile or bring tears
I've been kicking round here
For nearly twenty years

Right now I'm playing at a place
On cinder blocks and wood
It's not the worst stage that I've played
In fact, it is quite good
The crowd is small, the beer is cold
But, it's the best bar in the hood
I'm playing for my beer and smokes
On cinder blocks and wood

The music is my heartbeat
The people are my muse
I play because I love to
****, man...I've paid my dues
I'm an overnight sensation
Playing what you want to hear
I've been playing for the people
For near on twenty years

The crowd looks up, some clap a bit
Most live above the bar
At least if they don't like the show
They don't have to go too far
It's just me up here, alone and bare
Taking tips in an old jar
I play mainly for my beer and smokes
For the folks above the bar

I've never made the big time play
I hit the road but not for long
I write my stuff, but cover most
Because in truth, my life's a song
I sing old stuff more than glammed up tunes
To sell out, to me is wrong
If I'm not here, I won't be far
I hit the road, but not for long

The music is my heartbeat
The people are my muse
I play because I love to
****, man...I've paid my dues
I'm an overnight sensation
Playing what you want to hear
I've been playing for the people
For near on twenty years

I know I am a dinosaur
I sing songs that drip with age
Most bars I play once hosted folks
Who sang these tunes upon their stage
But, now, it's me and empty chairs
Beer and smokes make up my wage
I know I am a dinosaur
Singing songs that drip with age

I sing County Western
Not 'bout beer, and girls in shorts
I sing about the country
Of heartache, not of sports
I show you what's beneath the crust
Without makeup, and with warts
I sing Country Western
Not 'bout beer, and girls in shorts

The music is my heartbeat
The people are my muse
I play because I love to
****, man...I've paid my dues
I'm an overnight sensation
Playing what you want to hear
I've been playing for the people
For near on twenty years