I love to hate love, but I hate to love.

I want someone to
Roll over and ****. I want
You, here, holding me.

tell me about the callouses on your hands & how i can heal them on my heart.
i want the remnants of them to be found if anyone dared to dust there.
maybe i should stop thinking about you so much;
you come with an auditory label that screams "danger here" & you
sound your alarm every time i feel close,
but i have selective hearing so you're only ever alarming yourself-
i know you're good.
we don't fight for the things we don't love,
& you were birthed from love & war so i know the battles
you pick are worth it,
even the ones you pick against yourself.
this poem began as a declaration that I love you but
you already know that, so let this serve as a reminder instead.
you are fire & i love to be burned,
you are stars & i love to wonder,
you are love & war & you & perfect
& perfect & perfect & perfect & perfect
& you,
so let this serve as a reminder.

WHAT does one do when their
Mind is in the clouds
but their Heart is drowning
while the Pain is so loud,
the Thoughts are dazed,
and Memories are a m e s s
that can't be cleaned, that can't be erased...
this ice inside my Chest...
my Lungs are losing air-
but my Eyes stare  off
into a Place of dreaminess...
i'm s p l i t into two
one piece in Earth's core,
sinking
the other up in space
floating
to the other end of the galaxy.