sometimes i miss you
and then i can't think why
i remember the way we'd always fight
and how much i'd always cry

i remind myself of your arrogance
and how stupid i'd feel around you
i think of your stubbornness
and how it'd put me in a bad mood

your weird ******* fashion
and no common sense
it all left me
so so tense

but of course i can't bring myself to think of all the good

like how you'd smile when i'd talk
and remember all my small things
when you'd always bring me food
and hold my hand when we'd walk

i don't dare think of your sweet letters
or the loving look you reserved for me
your soft lips
or your hugs that'd immediately make me feel better

maybe i can think of some reasons to miss you
but i don't want to think about that
cause you'd say you'd always love me
but i guess that's not true

i look at you and i see nothing
i don't see the person i would've last year

i don't see the hands
that held mine to let me know you loved me even when you couldn't say it

i don't see the eyes
i once said were my favorite color

i don't see the lips
used to speak the sweetest words and light a fire in me

i don't see the arms
that once held me to keep me safe and warm

i don't see the person
that was mine

you are a stranger
and while i thought it would never happen
maybe it is for the better

they ask me what makes me think of you
and i can't really say because
rain makes me miss you
and books do too
i miss you when i'm writing
and when i'm crying
benson boone
dark blue
the shining moon
all make me think of you
reading gives me that feeling
and so does that sweater
so i guess there's no healing
guess you're stuck with me forever

maybe i'll mail the relationship back to you
because now that i'm left with the memories
i realize it's too much for me to keep

so instead of letting us collect dust
in the depths of my closet
or hidden under my bed
i'll find a box wrapped in pink gift wrap
pull us out of my heart and mind
carefully place us with tissue paper and slap on a fragile warning
i'll write your name and address on the top
in my handwriting that you memorized
and just because i'm selfish
i will douse it in my perfume and seal it with a kiss

i send with love and care
it should be there by tuesday
i hope it finds you as well as found me

best wishes, amelie

i want to say that this feeling is new
but frankly i haven't felt like yours
not in awhile
so that's not true

all the breaking up made me so numb
but this last time was different
not the same
stuck out like a sore thumb

weird to say its officially the end
but you'll never completely leave
not fully
just enough for me to mend

i tell all my friends, they're not very shocked
but i cant blame them
not new news
we were so on and off

now you're another just another blocked out person
but at night you come freely to me
not a second thought
its you i sadly see

i don't think you'll ever leave me
you'll always be there
like a ghost in my life
or shampoo in my hair

i feel your cold presence
when i step in that room
i hear your eerie voice
when i smell that perfume

my friends write it off
as me going crazy
but they don't hear your voice ring,
calling me baby

i thought ghosts were a con
still have your ring tired to my finger
can't stop my life but can't move on
not now, not when you still linger

ever since the last goodbye
life has been less enjoyable

i don't laugh on rollercoasters
i don't sing in the shower
i don't smile at sunsets
i don't write more than an hour

i'm not interested in new movies
i'm not invested in books
i'm not so passionate about music
i'm not caring of my looks

i won't leave my bed
i won't eat three meals
i won't change my clothes
i won't take my pills

i can't dance with aubrey
i can't joke with my dad
i can't play with my nephew
i can't do anything and not be sad

ever since the last goodbye
all i can say
is that the sun dimmed without the moon
what a sad day

how many times
did you come back?

how many times
did i believe you?

how many times
did i lose my mind
trying to understand yours?

how many times
did you take back your words?

how many times
did i break down?

how many times
did you tear us apart?

how many times
did i let the cycle repeat?

I'm not sure
but i know
it was too many to count

don't clear your cards,
you have the perfect hand.
seven of hearts,
slipped through like sand

i stand on the line,
i'm all torn.
i tell you i'm fine,
we can't be reborn

"you can't just leave me"
i want to say.
it's not meant to be,
maybe another day

you cleared your cards,
lost the bet
aimed you darts
you get what you get