I've only recently been able to admit to the idea that I am depressed
No
A person with depression
I know I have things
I have a history
I think in my head an attempt isn't depression
Just a bad decision

Symptoms of depression include
• Irritability
• Difficulty concentrating
• Lack of energy
• insomnia or excessive sleeping

Obviously I don't have those
I'm not irritable I'm probably just hungry
I haven't been able to concentrate my whole life. Why start now
I'm a teenager of course i'm tired
It's not sleeping excessively I just like naps

Its that **** phone
If your room weren't such a mess
Get out more
Socialize
There's light at the end of the-

Shut up

Two years ago I tried to end my life
Downed a bottle of pain meds and a canister of albuteral
All to wake up with just a sore throat
It didn't work so here I am again
Against my own worse judgements
Too tired to try again so I'm just gonna go to sleep

So now I'm going to sleep
tomorrow I will remember how to be happy.
And then by 2pm I'll forget again
Completing the circle

I don't think the world would comprehend what I mean when I say I have intuitive thoughts.
When I say I think about grabbing a knife from the cupboard and
I'm not gonna finish that one
The thoughts bleed from my head.
I look like carrie
Obscene words cover me from top to bottom
Next time you get in the shower you should water board yourself
Put a fork in the microwave and watch it explode in your face
Get ready in the morning with a nice ice bath for your face, just use boiling water
Clip your nails, clean off. Keep cutting.
You should shave until there's nothing left
Bleed
Cut
Bleed
But those intrinsive thoughts aren't silly and funny
So i'm gonna stick to
You should eat that whole jar of nutella

I've never been in love but I can imagine it
Matching fits, talking bout cats n ****
Be my man ill be your *****
Ride or die
When I'm with you we'll fly
Superman, cheer for you in the stands
Here for you till the end
My man will be perfect
Absolutely no flaws he'll have it all
Speed dial no need to call
Cause my man will have it all
Cause my man
My man
I haven't met you yet and I know you'll be perfect
Because in the ocean of my dreams I see you surfing
I'm learning
That everything i do is leading up to you
And everything you do and see is for the moment you meet me
Don't that just make you cheese
The duo we'll be
whole world to see
My man and me

When words fail what's left?
Song?
My praises singing
Hands?
I gesture, paint worlds with my movements
When words fail do we write?
Put my pen to paper and let the words spread like watercolor
Words
speech, are all I know
Silence is a foreign language to me
When words fail I have little left.
So I pray my words do not fail.
Because words are mine.

Just because you didn't like what i said doesn't make it inherently mean
I will always be the angry Black girl
Unfortunately
I am angry
I am perpetually Black
And a woman beyond my control
But is it wrong to be angry
At a world that doesn't want me
A world that hides me
Tells me
I got that bad hair
Im not good enough for TV
Fix your
Hair
Fix your
Nose
Fix your
Additude
Grown folks business
I am a woman built to mother children
My womb built to harbor
Pray to God they aren't a girl
Pray to God they aren't
Black
I dont have to be angry
Sit back
Let someone else be angry
Let someone else be the Black girl in the room
But my blood won't let me
My veins will jump up and run away
My body's inclined
My soul won't sit
Sit for *******
So I'm forcing myself to bd the angry Black girl

I wake in the middle of the night and there's not enough air to fill my lungs

I can see the calm but it's too far away

There's enough noise in my head to wake the neighborhood

Scream into my pillow, I'm sure it's traumatized by now

Put my headphones on and force myself to sleep

I wake in the middle of the morning it's like it never happened

There's air in the room

My music is louder than the noise

Being sad is only for the dark of my room

My personality isn't fit for depression

I'm not that girl

I have too many hobbies to be so sad so I just decided to stop

Tears are for pillows

Crying is for your bed

Because you're too happy to be sad

It's. Not. You.

Ask not what your country can do for you,
ask yourself:
Do you feel lucky, punk? Huh, do yuh?

I have a dream that one day,
on the red hills of Georgia,
little black boys and black girls will join hands
with little white boys and white girls
and...What we have here is failure to communicate..

...black lives matter ...like a thief in the night ...
We shall fight them on the beaches, we shall fight them on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender...

Four score and seven years ago
our forefathers brought forth upon this continent
a new nation, conceived in liberty
and dedicated to the proposition that...
...you can't handle the truth  ! ...

The only thing we have to fear...
is one small step for man,
one giant leap for...
weapons of mass destruction.

We hold these truths to be self-evident,
all men are created...
to...  say it. I said, 'I’ve been sayin’ that **** for years.' They deserved to die, and I hope they burn in hell.

In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth.
Then He said...
I’ll be back.

Thou shalt not...
tear down this wall.
We do these things not because they are easy
but because...
your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, the wretched refuse of your teeming shore. Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me, I lift my ... eye for an eye only ends up making the whole world blind."
frankly, my dear, I don’t give a ****.

One nation, under God, indivisible,
with liberty and justice for...
an offer they can't refuse.

Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall
(and ) say hello to my little friend.

We the people, in order to form a more perfect union...
the streets shall flow with the blood of the non-believers.

That is weird, wild stuff, I did not know that...
I think, therefore...
I see dead people...
Houston, we have...
(to) throw the baby out with the bath water..

Life, liberty, and the pursuit of...
A house divided against itself...
With great power comes...
the angel of the Lord, and lo, He said unto them...
Give me liberty, or give me...
Government of the people, by the people, for the people...

To be or not to be...
You talking to me?
You talkin' to me?
Am I funny to you?
Am I a clown to you, do I amuse you...
Don’t count your chickens before they hatch...

I, am your father...

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times...

come and play, everything's  A okay,
we're on our way to where the air is...

A day that shall live in infamy...

"Why so serious?"
I know you are, but what am I?
In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth...
but in the end,
nobody puts Baby in a corner...

**** the torpedoes, full speed ahead!
Give me liberty, or give me...
more cowbell !

Thou shalt not...
live long and prosper!
Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere...
there's no place like home.

I’ll have what she’s having.
Power tends to corrupt, and absolute power corrupts absolutely...
I am the way, the truth, and the life.
If you want something done right...
speak softly and carry a big stick..

I don't wanna be around people I have to explain it too
I wanna be around people who relate
Who get it
The struggle
I want to be around people who know what it's like to get their hair braided
Who knows what it's like when People touch your hair
Who know what it's like to weigh out whether or not you should fight back
Who know what it's like to have to change your vocabulary for someone
Who know what it's like to be the mean girl

Because it is a big deal.

You don't see it because it's not you
You don't see it because it doesn't matter to you
You dont see it because you aren't me

You don't know what it's like to get your hair braided
You don't know how it feels when people toch your hair
You don't know what it's like

For me it's not just touching my hair
It's treating me like I'm some exotic thing
It's making me the me the bad guy for calling you out, because your feelings got hurt
It's making sure not to use slang so I'm not "that kind of black girl"
It's being mean for speaking out

It's being around people who you have to explain this to.

SH stands for so happy
I carve it into my skin because I am so happy
I used to be so happy
All the time
So happy in the morning
So happy at night
So happy with a toilet paper roll over the sink
I loved to be so happy
I'm not so happy anymore
So
Unhappy?
So
Ber.
So this is me now
Not so happy
But I am happy
Just Happy
And JH doesn't stand for anything