Dear ex-boyfriend,
I'm sorry you had to go.
It wasn't fair, but I understand.
Your happiness was just as important to me
as my own.

Dear ex-boyfriend,
I hope you're doing well.
Never will I wish ill upon you,
no matter how much I wish I hate you.

Dear ex-boyfriend,
I'm crying on the floor.
My sadness is a black hole trying to **** me into myself.
I miss you.

Dear ex-boyfriend,
I'm wearing the make up that you hated.
*******.
I do what I want.

Dear ex-boyfriend,
You gave me hope that you would come back for me.
Don't.

Dear ex-boyfriend,
I realized that I never needed you to love me.
I realized that I was right here to do it for you.

Dear ex-boyfriend,
I look back fondly on our time together.
I will always love you.
But you left, and please never look back.

Dear ex-boyfriend,
One day you'll find a girl better than me.
I hope she makes you happy.

Every day, I take good care to scrub you off of my body.
Every day, I forget that scars don’t wash off.
The day after it happened, I remember my tears falling along with beads of water down my face
And I hope you felt it.
I hope you felt the gut wrenching pain
And the black hole in my chest, ******* me into myself to deal with the loss
And the unbearable denial that you were really gone.
I can’t even look at your sister’s face without seeing yours
And I’m moments away from a break down whenever she walks by me.
Does she understand why?
Did you tell her what happened and why someone I considered my friend has become an outcast in my life?
Please, dear, tell her how your words flowed gracefully from your mouth as they ravaged me and ripped me to shreds.
Your words have left scars on my skin.
Every day I try to wash them off.
Every day I remember that they won’t.

She walks into school
      and it starts again
           the shaking,
               it rips through her like a wave
She hears the sound of the voices
      in the hallway
         yet she cant make out what they're saying
She thinks all eyes are on her,
     everything is just one big blur
She hears laughter and
     she automatically thinks its
        directed at her
She waits in the bathroom
     like she does every morning
        for the halls to be clear
She walks out
     and wipes away her tears

Her anxiety
              An ocean
                           A wave of emotion
                                                     Rips through her
                                                                          All too often.

It trickles through her everyday
seeping into cracks in her core
small springs turn to gushing floods
in a split second.

She crashes down on me
and I stand
the force of her tide
drowning in her doubt.

Holes eroded by the constant drip;
rapids ricochet through her body
her mind awash;
thoughts tumbling in the whirlpool.

She crashes down on me
and I stand
drenched in her
a lighthouse in the storm.