I love her so much
She loves me too
Our intense love brings so much good
Laughter and joy
Company and intimacy
But at the same time
We worry so much about each other
It results in sadness filling up our hearts
Upset with the fact that the other may be having a bad day
Or a bad night
Upset with the fact that there are thousands of miles separating us
Across the ocean
In a different country
How I wish to hold her on those bad days
And kiss her to sleep on those hard nights
How I wish to be there in person to comfort her
So she not only has my words but my embrace
I need her to smile every day
To know I'm doing my job right
Because her happiness is my everything
She makes my world spin
Without her, I don't have much
These few bad days and bad nights
Are well worth it
She is my never ending bliss

A spider’s web,
So beautiful,
So intricate.
A work of art,
Worthy of admiration.

A spider’s web,
So evil,
So restrictive.
A prison,
Worthy of the innocent.

The spider itself,
Running on instinct,
Never realizing how much they torture their victims.
Yet, how enticing they make their webs,
Seduction, trust, desire.
Bugs don’t realize what they’re getting into
Before they get trapped.

Stuck, unable to move, forced into torture.
Abused physically, mentally, forced to love.
But we accept the love we think we deserve.

We deserve this pain, they love us.
Draining the life out of me,
They only do it because they love us.
They don’t mean it.

The bruises on my mind and on my body are love wounds.
My heart only beats for them,
I am loyal to my spider.
He abuses me because he loves me,
Because he doesn't know better.

Then the spider kills its prey,
The truest sign of love.

People say they aren't racist and thats a flat out lie
I mean they no longer separate our kind
but they act like color doesn't survive
these people are color blind
they don't admit that I'm  different
and I'm tired of it
people take of your mask
and show your face
we are still people but we are people of a different race

It pushes down on your chest line a thousand pound weight,
unable to get out from under it.
Tears form in your eyes and your heart pounds in your
chest and you can’t breathe and you feel
trapped in your own mind
desperate for an escape
clawing your way to the surface without prevail.
Stuck within the labyrinth,
every turn you take thrusting you deeper into a puzzle that you cannot solve.
Your worst fears come out to attack you at your weakest,
When you can’t defend yourself against their evil.
There’s no help for you.
All you can do is tread water and hope not to drown.

Close them out.
Push them away.
People can shove and punch and scream,
but they will never break down the walls you have built.
Behind the barrier sits a waterfall of tears and calls for help
but no one can clean the mess you have created.
Walls built of steel.
No one can see how your emotions eat away at you.
Trapped within your own mind
Not allowed to ask for help.
With the force people push, the walls push back
Resting at a stalemate, neither side gaining ground.
You want to let them in, but your walls hold you prisoner.
More than anything, you want them to break down.
But who wants your burden?
These walls feed you bad thoughts
Holding you back from the potential of happiness
Just push them away and shut them out.
They don’t care anyway.