and now she's hurt
and she's screaming at me
she needs to erupt the anger
on someone other than him
because he made her cry
he made her sad
he abused her
and he treated her bad
and now she's calling me
and shouting
asking questions i cant answer
"why are doing this to me?!"
she can't say this to him
he won't apologize
he won't listen
so she vents out on me
and pretends i am him
a ritual of throwing stones
to a man made of straw
but she won't stone him
apparantly he's made of copper
no actually he's not
because copper dents too
he's just a bigger rock
and i'm still a man of straw
look how i fall
the rocks are crumbling me
every word she says
in her trembling voice
i feel her pain so much
but i dont have a choice
i have to listen to her
i have to keep at it
i'll take all her curses
if it makes her feel better
or if it solves anything
i'm still echoing her in my head
her pain has become mine
but she was on the bus
with her phone dying
and i was at home
silently crying

and in another universe,
you and I are still together.

Why is it you love someone when they're gone?
Why do we keep repeating them in our heads, like a song?
Why are we always so late to realize?
Why are they the only dream we dream every night?
Why does it hurt when we've not been hit?
Why are we ill but still not sick?
Why do our hearts still race at their imaginary sounds?
Why do we keep going in circles, like on a merry-go-round?
And why do we still care when they cry?
Why are we still with them every time?
Why do we still keep falling?
Or why pretend they're still calling?
Why does it always rain on the sunniest day?
Why is it that not holding someone at our worst, makes us afraid?
Why do mornings feel the same as night?
Why do we forget such a thing called time?
Why does every little thing, reminds us of them?
Why do we shed fawning tears and sink into our beds?
Why do our breaths slow down and we feel like dying?
Why do we end up silent after the endless crying?
Yet why do we think of them and immediately smile?
Why do they still make us happy at desperate times?
Why do we still feel closer when they're far away?
Why do we still keep hoping, they'll come back one day?

I'm sorry I had let you down.
And I'm sorry I broke your heart.
I'm sorry I ended up leaving
When I said we'd never be apart.

I'm sorry I pushed you away.
And I'm sorry I let you in.
But know you were the closest to me
That a person has ever been.

I'm sorry I gave up on you
And every "I love you" I managed to say.
I'm sorry I promised to be by your side
And for the mind games we often played.

I'm sorry I'm messed up
And for every single thing I do.
I'm sorry I wasn't the one in the end.
And for not being there for you.

I'm sorry enough to say I'm sorry.
Oh, how sorry I truly must be.
To write these words over and over again
In a poem that you'll never see.