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 Apr 2016 summer
Maddii Lloyd
You ....
you left your mark on me,
on my skin.
not only with your hands,
but with your lips.
it wasn't always pleasant,
but it was pleasure.
I wanted it to stop,
but I kept coming back for more.
If I won the lottery
I think I know who'd get their part
 Apr 2016 summer
Maddii Lloyd
what am I meant to do?
you sit there and scream at me
yell, hit, bite, scratch me
just cause im not the person
you want me to be?

so I cut and dyed my hair
starved myself
cut my wrists and thighs
to make myself prefect!

but that didn't help.
now you ignore me
haunt, tease, bully me
cause im not your perfect girl

truth is I never will be
I don't want to be
but the fact is
I love you
i always have and always will

i just want to be your definition
of perfect, even for one day!
You're in trouble
We think its double
And now were going to silently burst the bubble
Were going to reduce your isolation to rubble
I know to some this isn't subtle
But it shouldn't be
No, it shouldn't be
Your life went downhill fast
And you were a victim
I'm so sorry we erroded our common sense and clashed here and there
The fault is mine and for that I'm sorry
I remember the potential you had shown when we were little
Year by year we drifted apart
But I never wanted to see your life fall apart
I haven't treated you the best but I do care
I'm just a ****** sometimes cause I'm mad at myself or something else
No excuses, blame it on me still
Life has stood still
For a few moments
Because we don't know what happened to you
And we're fearing the worst
We hope you didn't do what you think
Please stay strong
You don't deserve any of this
I'm rushed with guilt for the past
But I'm going to make it up now
And were going to get revenge for you somehow
We got your back
This poem is about an old friend of mine that drifted apart as years past but we still talk a little despite the clashing. We've gotten on each other's nerves but both of us have changed and he has shown some remorse before he disappeared and now I feel like I wasn't nice enough to him and that's what I blame myself on. I have no idea what happened to him but I hope he is ok.
When your self esteem gets boosted
A healthy beer has been brewed
A perfect sowing has been sewed
I'm getting butterflies when I used to get moths
Feeling a little less goth
I know I seem love crazy
But you just got to be magnificent for me, baby
I know life has been hazy
But I know you're the embodiment of perfection
So just be you for me, baby
 Apr 2016 summer
Maddii Lloyd
you come from a broken home?
yeah me too ..
you dad left your mum?
same here ..
your mum abused drugs for years?
hey me too ..
you feel so empty and alone,
like no one cares?
you cut yourself and scream and bang
your fists against walls for attention?
snap, I know the feels ..

sitting on my bedroom floor,
with blade in hand,
blood on wrist,
talking to myself.
so you come from a broken home too?
They wrote his name in stone today.
Rock carved out by metal.

I walked through his garden,
Inside his temporary halls.
Flowers spoke as men fell silent.

I sat and heard his name today.
In tones of desperation.

I walked with friends, his family.
And all us were hollow.
Words can do no justice.

They wrote his name in stone today.
And I will truelly miss him.
The classic metal artist.
The man of sharpened tongue.
With each lick a picture,
He paints upon your canvas.

The rarely appreciated work of a little understood poet.
Painting poetry.
Though many would seek to emulate what one stroke of his brush may convey,
Only few possess the means to reproduce the sheer purity of emotion in every sweep, line and dot.
Many forgeries gain more applause,
Yet the painter allows them spotlight.
The man who paints in the shadows is rarely seen hanging in public halls.
Seeking not fame, fortune or acknowledgement.
He paints only for purpose.
Love the painter,  love the poet.
Though the man himself is flawed.
He will not cry for anyone, nor pray nor care nor wonder.
He does not put his brush away, after all.


Blood does paint the prettiest pictures.
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