The will to live
Is as simple as knowing,
"I don't want to die"

And if you have the will to live
You have the will
For anything

When I hear myself,
I think bad thoughts

When I see myself,
I think worse

How many times have we been here?
(Don't answer, you might lose your head)

How many times?
More than 4

How sick do you have to be before dying?

When I correct myself,
I feel better than myself

Please don't think
Please don't think
Please don't think about it

I am tired of
Responsabilities
I am tired of
Being ignored
I am tired of
Being good just for favors
I am tired of
Being the good son
I am tired of
Kept myself quite
I am tired of
My friends
I am tired of
Poverty
I am tired of
The same all days routine

I wish to have a normal life
Just like any teenager
Go to parties
Get drunk
Have some fun
Do not care about responsibilities
But sadly
It is not possible

I am tired of
My life

I have destroyed a beautiful soul
in  the midst of the fog
I reached out
with my tainted hands
and touched its purity
consumed by my own selfishness
I pulled it down with me
my demons became his demons
only now
when the seal was broken
and I clearly see
my fault and sin
burning in the perpetual loop of my memories
It had to be done
For you would never have known
and now you do
for the pain and realisation
forgive me
forgive me
forgive me

Have you ever hated somebody you loved?
Did you ever feel way too smart to be making decisions so dumb?
Have you ever given up, but refused to admit it, so you continued to try?
Have you ever lied to yourself that you're happy, just to mask the undeniable sorrow you feel inside?

Have you ever felt so much for someone, that it's caused you to become numb?
Have you ever tried to win somebody's heart when you know they don't have one?
Did you ever know you were the cause that things ended in ruins, but you were still hoping that you weren't the reason why?
Have you ever ignored the sad and bitter truth that was impossible to deny?

Have you ever tried to maintain your composure only for the one that you love, in hopes that they'll stop being the one that's making you come undone?
Have you ever fought to prove and convince to your love that you're not anything like the demons they've been with, that you've slowly become?
Was there ever a time you felt so lost that you tried doing things in reverse, only to make them worse,
when your only intention was to try and make them right?
Did you ever pretend that things could be like they used to,
Just to maybe see any hope in the future,
When you know that hope will always be out of sight?

Have you ever tricked yourself into feeling better by thinking your pain is at an end, and finally done,
Only to realize that the real pain hasn't even begun?
Have you ever wrongfully blamed the only one that gave your life meaning, for being the one that ****** the meaning out of your life?
Have you ever tried to fix your situation, by purposely making it worse, and embracing a bitter hatred that you never thought you would come by?

...I have...

Will it be too late when I finally stop hating the one that I love?
Or will I continue to let them push me to end it myself and be done?
Why can't I stop confusing true beauty from spite, and just admit I wasn't right?
...Just admit I wasn't right.
I need to stop seeing things backwards and finally realize...
that you can't **** spiders,
by stepping on butterflies.