A day in my head,
Is a life in hell.
I look at my mother,
the woman who has always been there,
and all I feel is hatred.
She loves me, right?
Her sweet voice rings in my ears,
But my thoughts cloud over..
Turning that sweet voice into a twisted monster.
Like a fog shrouding her true form.
"You're so amazing!"
She's lying, you're pathetic.
"I'm so proud of you!"
Nope. You can't be proud of a failure.
"I love you!"
No she doesn't, she hates you.
Why must I think this way?
Because you know it's true.
I overhear conversations...
"Oh my god, did you see her? She is so fat."
They're talking about you,
they don't even know you,
and they think you're fat.
Stop eating
"She's so ugly, there is no way anyone
could find her attractive."
Oh, that sounds as if it was directed at you.
No sense in fighting, it is true.
My fiance...
He is so perfect.
You don't deserve him.
He tries to help me,
Sometimes it works.
His love alone can clear the fog.
I look in the mirror,
And examine my body.
Noticing every unwanted scar,
every unwanted stretch mark.
Ew you gained weight.
Look at your stretch marks.
No, you're beautiful.
He doesn't think that, you're disgusting.
You're perfect the way you are.
You have scars, fat, acne, you are flawed.
I love you more than anything.
No one loves you.
You are my now.
"And I am your forever."
Those bad thoughts try to come back through,
But for now,
He has cleared the fog.