like a wave
patient
crosses the ocean
to break on the beach
and finally
rest
I through
my entire  life
patient
to arrive
one day in your arms
and finally
feel at home

I say go
but I mean stay
I say enough
but I mean again and again
I still love you
forever
I love you
I say enough
I move away without turning
waiting for
your hand should hold me
I say enough
your silence screams
.. enough

smell of you
on the road
it touches me
a shiver passes me
I look for you
green eyes in foreign faces
smell of you in the night
I stretch out my  hand
looking for your hot skin
under the cold sheets
empties
smell of you
invades me
pursued my senses
I caress it
I hug it
because I can’t hug you

today
my need for you
is unbearable
it's physical
it’s mental
you invade my mind
you own my body
the expectation of pleasure
vibrates inside me
ephemeral lie
I hate
the awareness
I cannot have you
my hunger will not be satisfied
I’m smashed
from the promise to let you go
unable to move
I'm tormented
full of you
just of you
I can’t
miss you
I can’t
die
I must have you
is I must  breathe

new distances
old silences
"come-hither" gleams
I can’t touch you
I can’t feel you
a mound of distorted truths
is separating us
we were just two steps from the top
our fingers were about to touch
but we fell
in the frosty mud of exhaustion
I  saw the light shift
concealed by ruthless grudges
rediscovered enemy
illusory belief of a yes

love
defeats me
you own me
no free will
you are my way

you don’t talk
yet it hurts me so much
your silences
badly concealed truths