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 Jul 2014 i
Judex Banzuela
Unfair
 Jul 2014 i
Judex Banzuela
i know
there are
other fishes
in the sea
but it's so unfair
for you to
keep swimming
after choosing
me
 Jun 2014 i
Remus
Fear
 Jun 2014 i
Remus
"Are you afraid?"

Yes I am afraid.
I'm afraid of so much
like the endings to books,
actually loving someone,
having to tell my mother
what I am.

I'm afraid that my family
will hate me,
that my friends already
do.
That everyone who sees me
labels me as
Miss Confused.

I'm afraid of death and life
and everything in between the
two.
Maybe I'm afraid of myself
but I don't truly have
a clue.

I know I'm afraid of who I will
love one day.
What if they hate me now
or what if they think I'm weird?
What if it's the person I broke up
because I didn't love them
anymore.

I'm afraid of a lot of things
and everyone knows it.
Because a world without
fear.
Is like a world without
law.
It's unruly and unjust.
And you do stupid
things that can
get everyone
killed.

So I'm afraid of the alternative,
the thing I fear most
in this world.
 Jun 2014 i
Charles Bukowski
little dark girl with
kind eyes
when it comes time to
use the knife
I won't flinch and
i won't blame
you,
as I drive along the shore alone
as the palms wave,
the ugly heavy palms,
as the living does not arrive
as the dead do not leave,
i won't blame you,
instead
i will remember the kisses
our lips raw with love
and how you gave me
everything you had
and how I
offered you what was left of
me,
and I will remember your small room
the feel of you
the light in the window
your records
your books
our morning coffee
our noons our nights
our bodies spilled together
sleeping
the tiny flowing currents
immediate and forever
your leg my leg
your arm my arm
your smile and the warmth
of you
who made me laugh
again.
little dark girl with kind eyes
you have no
knife. the knife is
mine and i won't use it
yet.
 Jun 2014 i
nova
dear dreamcatcher
 Jun 2014 i
nova
dear dreamcatcher,
i thought you were supposed
to take away the nightmares
not get them *out of my head

and *into my life
i've always believed in dreamcatchers. i guess i like putting my hope in something else.
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