I watched her everyday

                                  like a movie

                           but I knew


                                                               that there was more depth in the book.

I must like the feeling of having a broken heart

I wish I could give you people something of substance
But the fact of the matter is I just feel so uninspired
And that leaves me to think,
What the hell happened to this world?
There should never be a moment
In any poets life where they can't draw some inspiration
where they can't paint the sky burnt orange on a snowy day
With their words as a brush
With our words as a brush
And All of our stories as our color palate
I think we could paint the universe together
In a fantastic mural of culture, and love

It begins as a noise in the background,
keeping a steady beat as it makes its round
It can be found at any time of day,
it's so simple, just push play

It creates a story for everyone's life
as if it understands your struggles & strife
It's impossible to stop, it's purpose will be served
as if not to judge on whether or not you deserve

Of complete reality & worry filled days,
when life gets too real, there's something that says
I'll be with you through the happy & sad,
the really great days and even the bad

It lingers as if ready at any possible time
to life you off your feet & begin to fly
away from all the grief, sorrow, & pain
to tell your mind that it's free again

No judging or casting a nasty glare
Just to let you know that it's always there
as the shoulder to cry on when no one else care
& casts you alone to face all your scares

It will give you a feeling that no one else can
& open your eyes to the ever growing span
of opportunity & dare & even the strength
to end it all or just shoot blanks

It tends to all of our daily needs
not for us, but with us so we really can see
the magic of you when in a crowd,
nothing else will sound as loud

As the beats, bells, & whistles that are in your head,
revealing to you a new path to tread
For you will follow no one your path will be your own
because you are lead by something that can't be owned

To be there for whenever you desire
is its one purpose, to light your fire
It can't be stopped if the will is steady
It can be unleashed, it's always ready

To light up your day or slow down the time,
to yell at the world, or even to cry
To help you with whatever you may need
or just to be there for whenever you please

It will live until the end of time,
serving its purpose, to let its light shine
Remember family, friends, & even pets,
but most of all music, never forget

I'm white.
I don't know what it's like
to have a black son
and wonder if he'll get shot
on a walk down the block
because his skin
camouflages him
into the night.

I am white.
I don't know what it is
to fear shots
from the gun barrels of the cops
hired to protect and serve
"us" from "them"
thick boots stomping the block--

cops more **** than Trayvon,
more **** than Mike,
more **** than the pre-teen
with a BB gun
robbed of his life.

I am white.
I don't know how it feels
to bleed out in the streets,
the fruit of my veins
soaking into scorched tar,
my still-open eyes seared
by the August sun.

I don't know how it feels
to lie there, dead,
an echo of ancestors
dangling from trees,
from light poles,
sunk into the Tallahatchie
with barbed wire and a cotton gin fan.

I am white.
Our history is filled with pale devils
enslaving races,
seizing lands,
killing millions--

so if someone's going to get shot,
maybe it ought to be one of us.

I liked it when he pulled my hair
When he growled and sunk his teeth into my neck
An emotionless grudge ****
Without any love or bare skin

I liked it when he told me I was *****
When he laughed in my tired face
And pushed me to the couch
Smothered me with a pillow

I liked it when he owned me
When he turned me black and blue
In the heat of all his passion
And with his bare hands

I liked it when it hurt
When he smiled before he left for the night
Every moment that I loved him
The best moments of my worn out numb life

Apologies for my breakdown a little earlier.
Expect more.
I'm a very emotionally unstable person.