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Apr 2018 · 257
three
Laura Apr 2018
rest your head and hold my hand
lead the troops, conduct the marching band
oh brothers join together come on take a stand
i know nothing good ever comes from three
but this year sheds my tears, it’s got its hold on me
listen here i’m not scared of the moving train
just bought my ticket and i’ll miss it til i go insane

i don’t need to be warmer in the summer
i don’t got to be anywhere but here
got my eye on the shiny golden drummer
take me away from the beat of that 1 2 3
cause i know 2 times fun equals mystery
put second best to the test and set me free

jackson five got it right singing abc
easy lines hard to find counting 1 2 3

drive my car into the sunday sun
without the wheel i swear it’s much more fun
meet the queen love machine she’s only just begun
i know i had a dream once just like this
so far away, sweet escape, ignorant bliss
my favorite game is the one where we play pretend
draw the line, stay inside, then let it break and bend

i don’t need to be warmer in the summer
i don’t got to to be anywhere but here
got my eye on the shiny golden drummer
take me away from the beat of that 1 2 3
cause i know 2 times fun equals mystery
put second best to the test and set me free

done with rhyme step out of time leave waltz to 1 2 3
i’m done and happy about it
Feb 2017 · 669
aware
Laura Feb 2017
i'm so aware of you i feel like your breathing is synched with my feet,
and when you smile at me nothing else exists but the air between your mouth and mine
every time you laugh my stomach is in space, every other sound dissolves into ambient noise,
the electricity when you look at me the way you do when we're not you and i
snapping quick witted quips back and forth in our own language only we understand
when you're singing i know that i've never heard music as compelling, seen eyes as captivating
when you're in a room i can sense you so much that if i don't touch you soon the stars might fall down and rip me open
because being so aware of you is like heaven only when i'm dreaming and i have to wake up
carry me away
Feb 2017 · 332
some dames
Laura Feb 2017
for those ten minutes we're unstoppable
quick wit knocks me off my feet and my lungs are flying
my lips are enchanted with what his words are implying
when it's over i'm high and i slip out of her cage
into my own kind of trap, the route to reality is it's own dizzying map
the muscles in my face are screaming at my heart to please, settle down
and i barely notice when our distance becomes less
something's gotta give before my mute turns to mess
i'm in, so deep and you're miles away
i'd follow the route to keep curiosity at bay
i can't and won't stop looking,
and i mean really, looking
i do smoke and it's the from the fire you've started
wait til ten minutes is up and she will soon be departed
please like me back because if i can't touch you soon i'm going to explode
Mar 2016 · 415
exit 16, grange hall rd
Laura Mar 2016
full nights in february
when the sun tells the highway headlights are its understudy
study notes that we know with yellow cups of whiskey
and cigarette breaks, cake batter chapstick breaks the ice
you're so nice - finally someone to do my dance and teach me new steps
signs stir laughs and songs give us direction instead
just ahead an hour or 3 add up to be memory and i won't fall asleep
i am one with the water fountain clouds change into mountains but somehow it's always home
i'm known to wander but now i'm inside i tried to hide from being whole but it's the role
i stole pink ribbon buttons goods and good company by the dam' d river i shiver from the thought of ever going back
snack ******* crumbs sneak in the seat where we started and im saving them for tomorrow
can i borrow some honey just a shot or two from you its the sweetest coat
throat tense in high harmony on stage left or maybe right maybe you're right
tonight it's not really over its just fulfilled
not gone
Aug 2015 · 403
necessary
Laura Aug 2015
if you need me, i'll be in my future
where the how's are no longer,
the what's made me stronger,
and there's no need to hide away.

try not to need me, i'm stuck in my head
where the why's are not clear,
the when is too near,
so i don't want to be needed today.
May 2015 · 424
the other side pt. 2
Laura May 2015
hello, are you here?
i've crossed the bridge, i guess.
all this time you've been near
but i never really got my yes.
no - i've got nothing at all
because that's what i've given you
the bridge had no chance to fall
it's just kept on building anew.
this side is just fine;
the fence is breaking down
no blockage, barriers, clear drawn lines
yet you seem so entitled to the crown.
it's taken me time to realize, sure
that it's me who set it on your head
i know you're obviously not who you were -
you're a symbol; royalty of my memory instead.
months and miles are ready for you, now
tell my nostalgic desires so long
i'll cross the bridge back, if you'll allow
but look, like that,
it's gone.
May 2015 · 434
silver cars
Laura May 2015
ive been your ghost
i hope you realize
seven more days
of my averted gazes
and it's the end of an era
you're not home anymore
so i'm lost
in seven days
i don't have to let it in
let you walk by
as if your posture didn't falter mine
and your presence didn't weaken me
and i don't have to pretend
like you weren't still alive
in everything i touch
oh, mind
don't let a face deface my heart
let silver cars follow me to california
and keep my eyes on the road
Feb 2015 · 424
how strange
Laura Feb 2015
i'm absolutely terrified
but i feel alright about it.
contentedness
is a strange thing -
it's dangerous
too right or
too left
and i'm stuck.
there's you,
there's this,
that,
her,
him,
and
i can't keep up.
so i'll just stay
absolutely terrified
because i'm okay with it.
weird
right?
Feb 2015 · 1.2k
you know?
Laura Feb 2015
it hurts, you know?
what you say, what you do
i'll put up with it anyway
even when i know it's toxic
your actions fake,
untrue.
it's hard, you know?
when all you do is complain
i listen to it anyway
wishing i had half the problems you do
makes me resentful,
insane.
please know
what i say, what i do
you should put up with anyway
listen and care, compromise
be unselfish and optimistic
even if for an hour,
a day.
i'm tired of not feeling like a person
but this won't escape me
i won't tell you, no
it just hurts
and it's hard
really
you know?
Feb 2015 · 1.9k
1/15/15
Laura Feb 2015
don't tell me idolization isn't dangerous
you see,
i haven't worn red lipstick since i found out you didn't like it
and now i don't know if i like it or not
i can't tell if my favorite show is my favorite show because you,
sir,
liked it first.
parts of me are parts of you and i wonder who i'd be if i took you out
but i don't
remember
how to do it
Aug 2014 · 315
8/14/14
Laura Aug 2014
im too old for the innocent 'what if' that i feel when i see you
being near you is peering into the looking glass of who i've become
your face gives me comfort with an always lingering uneasiness
like the first stretch in the morning : your restless bones being set free but tightened by the cold 6am air; almost satisfied but never contented
im worried that i'll be the one that fades before my feelings have the chance
sickeningly entranced by you when my body is experiencing what my mind should be too
my faith in fate is robbed and im left to hope it returns with a new you, giving me signs my wasted time will be returned, hanging like a shiny remembrance on a shelf in my head
ughhhh
Mar 2014 · 422
3/11/14
Laura Mar 2014
im tired
of the chaos in my head
and having no one to
put it to rest
i hate
hiding behind pictures
of someone living
while im nothing more than
pale skin, beating chest
im lost
and trying to start over
but im too far gone and
far too deep
i hope
this soon will end and
my temporary peace will
rock me to sleep.
Feb 2014 · 311
2/24/14
Laura Feb 2014
you haven't changed me, but i've changed because of you
because there was a time when i'd have let you sweep me off my feet, call me yours, dance to the same beat
but as i lay here and try to recall how i once felt, i feel separate from my own mind
i told myself it was supposed to be you;
luck, or fate, as i'd once say, would be on our side and we'd end up in eighth period chemistry laughing til we cried
but i know now that my dreams of a pretty prom dress i'll never wear can be no more; my feelings once held for you are ones i'll never share
so even if that night i once so desperately wanted us to spend hand in hand goes awry at least i know i have enough strength to never let you see me cry.
Jan 2014 · 1.2k
alright
Laura Jan 2014
i'm alright.
i'm quiet but at least i can say i have a solid foundation.
while the glamorous side of young life is intriguing,
the temptation is short-lived when i'm reminded of the scratch beneath the surface.
the picture captures your smile but your smile captures your discontent
your nights may be exciting but your mornings filled of emptiness.
but while everyone believes you're alright, you still don't.
but i know i am.
i'm alright.
Dec 2013 · 540
kind
Laura Dec 2013
I listen as you speak your mind
answer questions, calm your fears
I'll laugh and praise successes,
cheer you up and dry your tears
I'll replay all the songs you show me,
let you scream when you are mad
Reminisce about your old memories
even the ones I wish I had
While I can be selfish-
-and we all are in some way
I want you to be happy
Even if only for a day
And if I myself am feeling low,
I know I'll be just fine
Because the only remedy needed
Is a dose of being kind.
this literally sounds like a 5th grader wrote it but yolo
Nov 2013 · 511
11/26/13
Laura Nov 2013
i wish i could hate you
but how can i,
when i don't know who you are?
lately ive learned
with the passing of time
people are changing
like the sun and stars.
how could i expect you to be different?
you nor i are the same as we were
many days and nights ago.
but i was happy then
a meaningless crush so simple and pure;
you were smart and kind
innocent and so full of life
so i clung to the idea of what if
and i held onto to it like a vice.
it's been too long and tiring and hard
time goes on and i need to let you go
but part of me will always pray
some far off, distant day
when i meet you on the street
you won't come up to me and say
"nice to meet you, hello."
Nov 2013 · 288
not now
Laura Nov 2013
it's hard to imagine life
not as it is now
when now is what we know
and what we know is all we have.
but what will we have
when there is no more
of what we know?
it's so hard to imagine life
not as it is now.
Nov 2013 · 880
cough syrup
Laura Nov 2013
on days like these
i ache for the burn of cough syrup down your throat
pulling you from consciousness against your will
and drowning your restless mind.
Nov 2013 · 534
why?
Laura Nov 2013
today a boy told me he liked my red nail polish
and I took my friends for a drive
today I sang christmas songs in autumn
and I don't really know why.

yesterday I had chocolate cheesecake
and today at the doctors I cried
tomorrow I'll buy a ticket for a play
but I still can't understand why.

I can wonder and plot and think and scheme
from now until the day that I die
but we can't know the reasons behind what we do
no, we'll never know why.
a silly poem of pondering
Nov 2013 · 1.8k
mime
Laura Nov 2013
Broadway is a mime,
changing its persona all the time.
Spotlights casting shadows,
on the victims of a tragedy.
Heroes showing bravado,
saving the day.
A happy energetic song and dance,
like a bright sunbeam ray.
Blackout!
A scene change.
Where does she get the vocal range?
She keeps running perfectly,
using her complex tools.
The audience agrees.
(Applause is her fuel!)
She hits the high note,
the curtain shuts, everything
blackens like nighttime.
Act Two.
Three.
Can’t you see?
Broadway is a mime,
changing all the time.
I found this from 7th grade and it's actually pretty decent tbh
Oct 2013 · 721
time goes on
Laura Oct 2013
i feel broken
whether it's constant losing or words unspoken
and as time goes on i feel older
i still want you
but the air feels colder;
my mind wraps your arms around mine
but my body aches
exhaustion taking it's toll
too much give, not enough take.
daydreaming is a chore
and a simple 'hello' is too hard to swallow
i entertain the thought of 'someday'
but instead of fulfilled i feel hollow.
i've nothing to distract me from my biggest distraction;
i'm constantly wading in self-destruction
but sometime soon, whether in a year or tomorrow afternoon
i'll be whole again.
everything is going to be fine.
Oct 2013 · 432
today
Laura Oct 2013
Every day seems like a drag lately.
Wake up, go home, eat, sleep, repeat.
I'm never satisfied; I'm this or that
Hot or cold, with or without the sheets

I'd run and escape everything
But you looked at me today
And so I guess
I'll remain one more day.

I want to hide or disappear
But I studied for my test and got an A
So I suppose
For a little longer I can stay.
Oct 2013 · 585
reflecting
Laura Oct 2013
of course I miss the spotlight
the attention, adoration, and praise
and the rewarding sort of adventure
that came with it.

but most of all I think I miss the fire.
the light and the passionate spark
ignited by being molded into a dream, fantasy world.

and I miss you, too. not necessarily
you, but the feelings I once felt:
the exhilarating ride of desire that is reciprocated.

my hair once lighter has darkened with the richness of age, shedding the naivety moment to moment, lesson to lesson, and now I ache for old times to occur once more.

everything feels heavier now; each year a new weight added to shoulders, my heart trudging along with my sunken body, hoping for something new and young to make me feel alive again.
a little different style then I usually do but I like it
Sep 2013 · 372
what we want
Laura Sep 2013
I think we all crave connection.
The pure, simple ability
to talk until hours pass
like seconds
and seconds
go by
in the blink
of an eye.

We want someone's undivided attention.
To hang on your every word
and notice the way the light
hits your eyes
and your eyes
shine brighter
than the whole
night sky.

Mostly, we want to understand love.
To have someone hold you
Comfort you and make
you laugh
and laugh
so much
you cry.
Sep 2013 · 511
tomorrow
Laura Sep 2013
to romanticize life
there comes satisfaction and sorrow
thoughts become possibilities
that create empty tomorrows.

hope is a dangerous thing;
you end up holding on to 11:11
day one expectations high
and destroyed by day seven.

"expect the unexpected,"
but "you can't sit around and wait;"
dreaming has become much easier
and more convenient as of late.

so i think i'll just go to sleep
thoughts of negativity and sorrow
can shut their eyes and be tucked away
until i'm in the reality of tomorrow.
Aug 2013 · 375
sleep
Laura Aug 2013
ghosts linger in the depths of your mind
loss and regret make too loud of a sound
til sleep comes and shuts the noise off
and your worries hit the ground.
someone asked me to on ask.fm so
Aug 2013 · 380
wish
Laura Aug 2013
sometimes when you pass
a wishing well
think about all the wishes
that people swore never to tell.

sometimes when on the clock
11:11 glows
think of all the people stopped
dreaming as they let their eyes close.

let yourself hope and when
you dream
think of what you have
because what you have is better than it seems.

but when you feel like nothing
is left
close your eyes and wish
and put your mind at rest.
Aug 2013 · 484
go ahead and try
Laura Aug 2013
don't be tricked by the idea of someone
the chase is far better than the catch
i was wrong about you and who you are
you're far from a perfect match.

if i could i'd just close my eyes
wish you'd be gone and count to ten
i could erase you if i'd written in pencil
but unfortunately i used a pen.

i always knew there was something off
i'd had an inkling from the start
but i ignored my head and intuition
and fallen prey to the wish of my heart.

you can't escape now that i've trapped you
in a sickening, insincere lie
but go ahead and dig yourself up
honestly, i dare you to try.
ugh.
Aug 2013 · 450
my everything
Laura Aug 2013
seasons may come and go
but the wind will always blow
so you've always been my wind.

sand and water always meet
when they brush across my feet
so you've always been my water.

when i'm cold you light a match
and a fire starts to catch
so you've always been my fire.

if there's an earthquake underground
i'd never hear a sound
so you've always been my earth.

through the dark around us
you've helped me find the light
held my hand in one and my heart in another
you've always been my everything.
Inspired by Lydia and Stiles on Teen Wolf (oops, it's a good show)
Jul 2013 · 424
behind
Laura Jul 2013
you were a nice distraction
a quiet, mysterious soul
but i felt like i was pushing
and you would never pull.

i tried to make this time different
open up and let you in
but then i realized the game i was playing
was one i'd never win.

i forgot where we were
gone from reality and too far away
and that back home you had her
and with her you would stay.

all i hope is that i move on
keeping this week we had in mind
pack up the memories
and leave the hurt behind.
Jul 2013 · 1.2k
a week
Laura Jul 2013
a week
day to day life goes to rest
our daily vices stripped away
and our minds are cleared.

a week
early mornings and groggy voices
laughing
sounding brighter than the perfect harmonies we sang.

a week
cold, rushed showers
relaxing every bone in our bodies.

a week
where those organized activities you dread in school
are now your favorite things to do in the world.

a week
where a common fear
is gone
and is only a mere nuissance.

a week
ups and downs; hardships and jealousy
but soon forgotten with the help of a kind soul.

in a week
i was changed.
choir camp 2013: one of the best weeks of my life.
Jul 2013 · 449
stay inside
Laura Jul 2013
isn't everything easier when you don't open up?
i've barely put myself out there
and i've found it much easier
to just stay inside.

i'll reach out a hand and you don't take it
i take a step toward you and you take a step back
so wouldn't it make sense for me
to just stay inside?

i try to reason with myself but you won't let me
something about you always pulls me away
and i can never even find the simple will
to just
stay
inside.
Jul 2013 · 871
more
Laura Jul 2013
sometimes i feel like i should be doing much more.
like going to concerts and walking in parks
and calling that one person you talked to in english class.

more pictures to post and people to see
and riding my bike in the summer.
more of this and that.

i'd like having a reason to get ready in the morning
because putting more makeup on with no where to go
is really
getting
old.
Jul 2013 · 271
gone
Laura Jul 2013
memorize how each person in your life says 'hello'
so when they leave
you'll know how to remember something other than 'goodbye'
Jul 2013 · 939
the tale of lila larue
Laura Jul 2013
Now listen to the tale of Lila LaRue
A tale that taught us
to think before you do.
A plump gal she was, weighed three hundred and three
She had a strange love for berries, you see?
She hopped down Yale Trail,
And sat on stump
Plop! Right next to Edward the grump.
Edward was old, his memory fading
and didn’t appreciate Lila’s space invading.
“Lila,” he grumbled
“what do you need?”
“I’m looking for the old Yale Berry Tree!”
He sighed and humphed and grumped and thought,
“Kids these days.”
The adventures they sought!
He pointed to the left,
and said ”follow the trail.”
How Lila couldn’t wait to fill her pail!
Lila ****** to her side,
And broke into a run;
She had to get berries
‘Fore the day was done.
But then Edward shouted
something she couldn’t make out
so she lifted her head to see what it was about.
But she tripped on a root
And fell into a tree
“Its old Yale!”
Lila thought with great glee.
She plucked off a berry,
with a strange looking skin
But what was stranger
Was what lied within.
The juice is too ****,
she thought much too late.
Then the grump found her,
in her lifeless state.
“Such a fool, that Lila LaRue.
never read the sign, like I told her to do.”
“Poisonous Berries, please do not eat.”
The sign read, freshly painted and neat.
Always listen to Edward
for he is old and wise.
“Never let a careless  mistake
become your demise.”
Jul 2013 · 1.6k
a senior note
Laura Jul 2013
time may take us far away
but i promise in my memories you'll always stay

my time with you is engraved on my heart
from now until new beginnings start

you will leave and i'll remain behind
carrying on with your dedication in mind

the paint on your clothes will never wash out
reminding you what this all was about

energy and love
performing, inspiring, and all the above

so in a note to my seniors, if you ever get stuck
remember i love you, goodbye and good luck
Jul 2013 · 364
now or later
Laura Jul 2013
everything now is now later
my plans are dreams
that are years or months ahead
and they're closer than they seem.

when does it all become today?
do i really start to live then too?
we see it happen all the time,
but never does it happen to you.

i feel like im drifting
and the water moves beneath me
with the current trying to drag me in;
the constant moving of the sea.

i think i know what i want
and i think it will somehow turn out right
with hope and wonder fueling
the ever-flickering light.

everything now is now later
my plans are dreams
that are days or hours ahead
and they're closer than they seem.
Jul 2013 · 1.1k
imagination
Laura Jul 2013
there once was a girl who lived in her head
she imagined new worlds when she laid down in bed
the girl had more friends, more people she could be
a place safe in her head that only she could see

as she grew up the worlds became less
and her life all around her felt like a mess
but she was grounded by her thoughts in the clouds
the noise of her problems were never too loud

but then the day came when her friends disappeared
reality struck and her imagination cleared
life tore her worlds down and they ceased to exist
so she created her own with the parts that life missed
Jul 2013 · 1.2k
i fly
Laura Jul 2013
high altitude
clouds beneath
surrounded by sky
i fly

a to b
sea to sea
la to dubai
i fly

countries to visit
cities to see
before i die
i fly

outside beyond glass
a map to my birds eye view
i am flying
Jul 2013 · 254
is it?
Laura Jul 2013
I've picked a face and made up the rest
I talk about you
like you've painted the night sky
when you've done nothing at all

you've stolen a part of me
and not given it back
without knowing
you'd taken it at all

the lines get blurred
when I spend my time thinking of you
and when I see you
it's not you at all
Jul 2013 · 435
star
Laura Jul 2013
When I was young I chose a star
One with the brightest of shine
I’d keep it in my reach forever,
Proud to call it mine

But now as I grow older
The star dims upon each defeat
It’s shoots up and down;
Tediously on repeat

I’d always known I could reach it
No matter what endeavors I faced
But now I feel my arm cannot take it
No matter what angle it’s placed!

I know it may take years of trying;
Pulling one from the vast sky of blue
Denying that I’ve a chance of failing
That all my dreams would not come true
Jul 2013 · 613
the other side
Laura Jul 2013
You’ve only ever came to me in my dreams
I’ve created who you are through my imagination
You’re perfect in my eyes;
A loving creation

But when one steps into reality,
They’ll notice you’re on the other side
You’ll never cross over;
You’re a slave to your pride

You won’t let your status fumble
Embrace the popularity, leadership; it all
Disregard the other side
And let the bridge between them fall

After all this time I’d spent gaining courage to cross
Or waiting for you to meet me half way
My chances are slowly fading
With the light of each new day

And so I’ll stay and wait and watch over you
Heavy hearted and hurt inside
Desparate that someday soon you’ll come and build up the bridge
And coexist with the other side
this is actually published holla
Jul 2013 · 458
one year ago
Laura Jul 2013
One year ago.
The memory envelopes me in a sweet happiness I can’t deny.
So why do my eyes insist on me to cry?
Something about that time, so new and exciting
One year ago
Makes the future seem more inticing
So I drift into sleep
Clutching the memory of
One year ago
Never dreaming to let go.
Jul 2013 · 398
still you
Laura Jul 2013
Tumbling through life as if I had a clue
All the while
In denial
That I’d ever not have you.

I should’ve moved on in April or May
But still I dream
All the time it seems
That you’ll be mine someday.

I miss your smile and eyes and voice
Catching me staring
I hate that I’m caring
Loving you was no choice.

All I know is that one thing is clear:
In a sky full of clouds
In a room much too loud
Your name is all I hear.
Jul 2013 · 1.1k
the days slip away
Laura Jul 2013
up til sunrise
sleep til sunset
the days slip away

searching for something
greater
more
beyond today

living in the present
trying to push away the past
but the past is the only present in my mind

stopping is too much time
too much time is not enough
the days slip away

going in circles
makes everything spin too fast
too dizzy to move forward
too dizzy to move back

too much want, not enough do
but too much do to want much else
the days slip away

placing my love in things too far to reach
pointless
time-consuming
and mind-consuming

too much sleep to be tired
but too tired to sleep
the days slip away

laughing and smiling
and frowning and crying
too small to place on a timeline

roll on toward it
work toward it
all of it
is worth it to get to it

too much of it but too little of it
as the days slip away.
Jul 2013 · 416
without a word
Laura Jul 2013
Every day’s an opportunity

Hoping maybe I’ll catch your eye

Blindly waiting in the background

And people ask me: why?



I try to give them an answer

But I always come up short

“He’ll never feel the same,” they say

And I reply with a defensive retort.



Satisfied with “maybe someday”

Content with “next year”

The sound of my voice in denial

Is the only thing I hear.



Maybe soon everything will pass

My year long yearning will be for naught

But if I’m honest I know that by tomorrow

My desire to move on will be forgot.



I know it’s unreasonable

Senseless, unrealistic, and absurd

Holding onto what little’s been said

When it’s been so long without a word.
I hate boys like why do I have to like someone for so long who I don't even talk to

— The End —