Space.
That's what everyone wants.  
They think it'll fix everything
Just like the words "I'm sorry"
Are supposed to heal wounds inflected.
But you see.
This isn't the case sometimes
The clock keeps ticking
Time keeps moving forward
And while one of us moves away
The other stays put, stuck.
This is you and me.
While you've been getting better
I've been kidding myself, lying.
Thoughts run rampart
Yelling and screaming about how I'm dumb
To think that everything would be okay after a while.
I just want it to be okay again.
They weren't kidding when they told me
It's worse than a relationship breakup.
Space.
That's what everyone wants.
They think it'll fix everything
When really it makes it worse.

it took me loosing sleep,

waking up at 1, 2, 3am

sobbing into my pillow 

and making myself sick

to realize something I knew all along

I can’t wait forever 

it’s been long enough 

I can live without you 

and I guess I have no choice 

*but to

I only knew how
To be a poet when
I was sad or
Feeling down

So when the grey clouds
Faded away revealing
Sunlight and warmth
I became silent

I only knew how
To write about
Broken hearts and
Broken promises

So when promises
Were kept and
Band-aids helped heal
I became silent

I only knew how
Pain stabbed
And tears stained
And thoughts cursed me

So when happiness came
I forgot what it felt like
To feel love & joy
I became silent

I won't say I'm better
Because I still have moments
But I'm done being silent
I'm not keeping this to myself

Why do I still smoke cigarettes
Now that they make me sick to my stomach
This town is already suffocating me
It dies at midnight
As the city lights go out
The cherry of my cigarette goes dark
Nothing is genuine
And every street light that illuminates
The silent streets
Confirms my worst fears
Every living creature dies alone
I wish I didn't understand
Wish I could be ignorant again

my biggest fear isn't
little things like heights
or spiders or clowns,
my biggest fear is loosing
the ones I love the most.