A thousand thoughts run through my head
Impossible to decode
What they entail
Like trying to tell where a water drop fell into the oceans swell
If it's not a blur then its painful as hell
Coals placed up and down my spine
Where does anyone find the time to get their feelings in line while keeping the appearance to be fine
I often sit in the darkness with the small light of hope
My mistakes woven thick into a rope
Tied around the tree grown by the seeds sewn into my head
To seek help is to burden others
To be myself is to over think
I can only take so much more weight before i finally sink
Id rather bite the hand that feeds myself
Id rather drown slowly than ask for help
My insecurities speak louder than anything else

With this shovel passed down to me ill bury my heart mind and soul
My body will be left to decompose outside of the hole
Maybe then the child I never got to be will grow again
Maybe then the worlds worth of weights will be lifted

Like king Midas
Everything i touch dies
When it appears to turn to gold
So take your hand in mine
And lead me down this lonely road
So take your hand in mine
And leave me all alone
I can't control the direction that we go
Tie sails to our minds then let them flow
But my sail has nowhere to go
The strings aren't strong enough to hold
So they break
Along with my sanity
My own words float around my head like debris from a hurricane
Nothing is relative but pain
This world has made me change
This world has caused all of my emotions to rearrange
Behind doors i only have a few keys for
So i cross through them often
Treading harder each time
I drag mud and leaves from one to the other
Back and forth
I'll track the feelings back to the source
And **** it
Staring into it's eyes as it begs and pleads trying to make things right
I am ending this fight
It's getting harder to sleep each night
I often witness the start of daylight
Bask in the warmth
Transcending through my window
Where i end up I'll probably never know

I'm still not ready

I will share with you
My empire of dirt
If you should ever decide to cast me out
Through the heavens I'll fall
I do not blame you at all
For i have nothing to give
But im sure as hell going to try
To give you all that's left of me
Maybe we can build something new
We can take a walk in eachothers shoes
And make sure the laces stay tied
As the soles wear away i can learn to confide
If we ever trip or break our stride
Feel free to bind the strings and throw them over a telephone line
To come back to another time
They will not wither
They will not break
If they ever fall
The ground will shake
And let us know its time to come back home
No two souls are destined to be alone
Our spirits have bathed in one anothers glow
The scent is one they've grown to know
Held hands throughout the cold
And will surely hold fast as destruction surrounds the place we call home

I adore you and you alone

Make my heart your home
Come in and lie with me
I don't care what mud you've been drug through
You don't even have to wipe your feet

The sensation of loneliness is imminent
Being fully aware of this is a curse
I want to hold a heart in my hand
Just as i want mine held
Use my frail body as a shield
Our two souls i will meld
                    //
I want to open my exoskeletal barrier
To a soul so beautiful
And shell to match
A rare combination indeed
For all souls can be considered beautiful
But so few to myself
I haven't felt a genuine connection in so long
I forget what it's like
Embraces mean nothing
If you don't care about their life
I will know the right one when they reveal themselves
If they still exist on this earth
One soul splits in two
When we are placed here at birth
Feeling the blatant comfort of someone
Is not a comfort I've truly known
But as close as I've gotten
I'll attempt to build a throne
For our amorous thoughts to sit
High and mighty
It shines too bright for the temptation of abandon to seep in
I will soak up all of your fear and anxiety
With every kiss
Then spit all your pain into small viles
And paint you a picture with it
A letter to the earth
And everything above
Nothing will strip you and i
Of our love

We are inseparable
Even if i don't know you yet

I am not pure
My shell is cracked and eroded in most places
Many have chiseled me away
And took the remains
The light grows dim on the inside
So dim it's no longer appealing to make a home
I am destined to crumble alone
Much like a puzzle undesired because few or more pieces are gone
I don't place the blame on anyone but my own
I often wonder if there's a another out there with a light inside that's not so bright
I want to see their face
So we can crumble at eachothers feet
Our componants will mix together
And form a beautiful masterpiece

Forever isn't relative

I once was an angel
The galaxy held me close
My star exploded
When i needed it the most
Down to earth i fall
Bones breaking through the atmosphere
To the surface i drop
I go right through
This is not my stop
Things are getting warm
I feel like I'm at home
My demons are present again
Oh how glad i am i made friends with them
I descend further
Where i stop I'll never know
I still hold a piece of your soul
Wherever i go
Hell isn't a fiery hole
You escape it when you're dead
The hell you and i know
Is only present in our heads