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I didn't want you,
I wanted love
and I have realised
that they are not the same thing.

You were a mould
that I poured my insecurities in,
a computer I tried to program.

But you are a sky,
stormy and clear and rainy and warm.

You were so blue when I longed for red.

I didn't want you.
I wanted the thought.
Can't it just
not this harsh
not mush, but
not this hard
why this rush
can't it must
stop the gush
like but not
when it rusts
no more trust
ends to gust
it just got
lost again, tough.
If I die tonight
Please don’t pray for me
Hell is full
And Heaven’s gates don’t open free

If I die tonight
Look up to the stars
Peel back the façade
Past the hate in our hearts

If I die tonight
Find peace in my courage
Never backed down
Went out in a flourish
Each person in our life is a traveller.
You will meet him/ her next day or not.
Author: Zhanar
he lit his cigarette and walked away
and that’s when i knew i no longer wanna stay

— The End —